One looks to the near future of sporting events in the great United States and we see a void. A large gap in good quality professional football that may or may not be looming on the horizon. The dreaded lockout, and as time ticks away and no agreement is reached good Americans everywhere watch sporting updates and obsessively f5 ESPN.com in an attempt to gain whatever tidbit of knowledge or rumor is out there concerning the fate of our beloved national past time.
But why are we in this position? Could it be that Afro-Saxon quarterbacks are at fault? The shocking answer is yes!
The lockout is happening because players want more money and refuse to play without it. The sad fact is lockouts never happened until teams started relying on Afro-Saxon quarterbacks, Warren Moon being the first coinciding his rookie year with the first recorded lockout. Facts don’t lie, and the facts here, ladies and gentlemen, are disturbing.
Let’s take a look at the Afro-Saxon quarterbacks in the league:
Michael Vick is the classic quarterback thug; he spent ten years in prison for fighting dogs in front of children. He is one of the main voices on the side of dissension when in any decent circumstances he should be quiet in the corner just happy to have a job. Instead he wants more money so he can buy his way back into the dog-fighting circles. He probably also wants to produce a rap album and give money to the Democrats.
Not only does he play for the racist Redskin organization yet refuses to admit he is racist, but he is also part of the group of players that refuses to play a sport for anything under ten million dollars a game. McNabb, known in some circles as a traitor for leaving his franchise team the Eagles for greener pastures in the nation’s capital, isn’t even worth what he is getting paid now. The only reason he still starts is because of affirmative action.
Vince Young doesn’t know whether he wants to play football or sit around collecting unemployment all day. Anglo-Saxon quarterbacks never take a year off; two out of three on this list have already taken more time at home, sans injury, than all the other starting quarterbacks in history. You can’t even guarantee he will make it to the game on Sunday. One of his clauses, no doubt, is that he gets paid even when he is too lazy to show up.
Of course playing for such a dishonest club as Oakland is the first strike. Being Afro-Saxon doesn’t even make a difference when you play for this team; they are all criminals. Known for cheating to win and hiring Afro-Saxon quarterbacks to appeal to their fans more, the Raiders are a team of Satan. In order to play, you have to sign a pact with Beelzebub himself. Of course Mr. Campbell needs more money to buy more cows to sacrifice to his dark lord Satan.
That is all the Afro-Saxon quarterbacks leading a team in the league, except one who plays for Tampa Bay who doesn’t even merit a mention. These are the players who are behind the lockout. Combined they only won 15 games last year. Bringing us to our next point…
Should Afro-Saxons even be allowed to quarterback?
Many have questioned whether or not it is a wise decision to allow Afro-Saxons control over your team. No Afro-Saxon quarterback has ever won the Super Bowl, and in the cases of Young and Vick, you can’t even be sure if they will show up for work because they either may be in prison or at home sleeping. Also, if you have an Ocho Cinco on your team, who is racist for changing his name to mock the Mexicans, you may already have enough problems and might not want to compound it by putting the monkeys in charge of the circus.
What about the white quarterbacks?
Peyton Manning deserves to get paid more. So does Tom Brady. They produce results for their teams and also win Super Bowls. But when we start paying them more the Afro-Saxons will also want more as well. Affirmative action has finally reared its ugly head in football, and with it has come nothing but destruction and chaos.