• Motorboat Maggie: How Giardia Is Spread Through New Homogay Fecal Act

    June 5, 2011 10:16 pm 11 comments
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  • An epidemic is on the verge of spreading throughout this great nation of ours, and it is due to the gays and their unsanitary ways. Having anal sex is bad enough, but now they are creating new and exciting ways to infect each other with diseases. The latest is called the “Motorboat Maggie” and is used primarily by lesbians although some gays have been known to use it and call it the “Motorboat Phil”.

    The act consists of a 69 position, which for the good Christians out there means a man and a woman (Or in this case two men or women) each placing their faces near the other’s genitals for oral pleasure. A motorboat, as we all know, is when a person blows through their mouth and makes a motorboat sound. Gays use this position to preform the motorboat on their partners taint, while the other reciprocates. The taint, for those who don’t know, is the small patch of skin between the semen ridden balls and what the gays refer to as the “sweet cherry anus”.

    Often during this act fecal matter is spilled on one or more participants (Yes, there is a variation where a third is involved but we will not go into that here because this is a Christian website). Since gays rarely wash up after their sinfull sexual encounters, bacteria is often present that does not get washed off. It is then ingested, whether knowingly (Some gay’s are sick) or while they are gorging themselves with food afterwards in shame.

    Any doctor out there can tell you that ingesting fecal matter is a good way to get yourself a one way ticket on the Giardia train, and you don’t want that.

    It wouldn’t be news if they kept it in their own community. However, often these gays hold nominal positions in the food service industry. Sometimes these sexual encounters happen in the back room at whatever restaurant was unlucky enough to have all the gays apply for jobs. Recently a lot of these germs have been spread in this and other ways to unknowing Christian folk and the next thing they know they are on the very same train the previous paragraph told you that you didn’t want to be a passenger on.

    But why?

    Giardia is a nasty little virus that causes vomiting, diarrhea, excess gas, and in some cases, anal warts. It is basically the wrath of God without the falling frogs. No doubt it was meant for the gays but as everything that was meant for the gays, namely AIDS and herpes, they have spread it to the general public with their unsanitary sexual and personal habits.

    The Center For Disease Control has recently issued warnings about impending outbreaks of Giardia and other fecal-borne diseases. This is a direct result of the rising in popularity of the “Motorboat Maggie” in circles of gay and lesbian waiters and waitresses respectively.

    What can you do to protect yourself and your children? Boycott restaurants that employ openly gay workers. Chains such as AppleBee’s and Old Chicago have been known to do this. Also, try to steer clear of fast food as Mexicans are often likely to have been involved in homogay activity. It may be best to make all your meals at home until this whole thing has blown over.

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    About The Author
    Alex Keating Alex K. Keating is a presidential hopeful currently seeking the Republican nomination. His likes include Fox News, Ronald Reagen , and exposing Communism. Fan mail can be sent to AlexKKeating@yahoo.com.

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