Team Saran Palin for President in 2012

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I know the inveritable Alex K. Keating is running on the anti-Homogay agenda platform in 2012, but I still think we should be throwing support to the eternally beautiful and brilliant Sarah Palin.

Sure, many of you will praise Keating for his loud command of the English language and his louder tendency of yelling his talking points until his opposition shuts down in frustrated silence, and these are valid techniques and can be useful against the silver-tongued Obama, but let me ask you this. Let me ask you this.

Can Keating keep that up for 8 years?

Keating is a rough and tumble shooter, somewhere in between Lyndon B. Johnson and Andrew Jackson, but affiliated with a correct political party. His problem is that he’s not ripe for picking for this new voting crowd.

Young Americans are delusional. They vote on who celebrities and MTV tell them to vote for and face it, they are all homogay liberals.

But young Americans also like humor and beauty. Sarah Palin did the miraculous and made SNL funny for a night, even though SNL eventually milked their Palin skits to death. Look at the elegance of this woman.

This is a face that I would trust answering the door in a bath towel, poised body dripping wet from a steamy shower as her athletic legs powerfully lure from beneath a towel, feet tensed as she rocks back and forth and invites us political interns into her hotel room.  I must say I enjoyed interning for the McCain/Palin campaign and she does walk around her hotel room in her towel.  It’s seductive.  I’ll say it.  It’s seductive.

And that’s exactly what we must do to get the young Obama vote.

Obama is like 3rd grade class president.  He runs on a campaign of odd promises that cannot be kept.  Pizza every day for breakfust and lunch!  Free health care for everyone while cutting taxes!  No homework!  Fight two foreign wars while claiming you are a president of peace and cutting taxes!

Children will be tricked and vote for that, even though the guy blocking gay marriage, reducing federal spending, cutting the taxes for the wealthy so money can trickle down to the eyesores to our nation and finally dominating foreigners by threat for our massive military and their even more massive doomsday button budget should be getting their vote.  It’s just not enough to be a man these days.

If Keating were a black or even better a Mexican, it would work out for him.  Black and Mexican are the new vote getter.  But Sarah Palin has something else these guys don’t have.

A vajayjay.  And not a Hillary Clinton either, a semi-attractive one that she can parade under tight fitting outfits, leather accessories and the bath towels she used to tease us interns with on the trail.

So there you have it.  Palin can deliver a Republican platform that will restore us to a Godly nation that strikes fear into foreigners and brings pride to the moral, and she can do it in a cute frame that will inspire that young to vote.  Team Sarah Palin.  Just Do It.

About The Author
Born and raised in upstate New York, Dan Nordgren is currently a film student who enjoys martial arts, mountain climbing and football as components of his very active life. Join Team Sarah TODAY