• The 7 Main Reasons Gay Marriage Should Not Be Allowed

    June 29, 2011 8:55 pm 125 comments

    The Bible says gays are bad

    It is right there in Leviticus! Men laying in homogay with other men is a forbidden fruit that no good Christian should ever eat. It is bad enough we let them do it in public and in front of our children. Letting them get married and play house together is taking it way too far. The founders of our country in no way intended for it to become happy fun homogay dress-up candy land. They intended for us to follow Biblical law (Hence the ‘One nation UNDER GOD’ in the pledge) and allowing gays to prance around with rings and the legal rights of Christian couples is an abomination to those principles. That’s why the Lord smote them with AIDS.

    These two were later smote with AIDS

    Marriage is strictly a Christian ideal, and God hates gays

    It’s quite simple really: people get married in churches to have their unions recognized by Jesus. Jesus hates gays, it says so many times in the scriptures. He doesn’t want them to be married. And why would they want to follow anything that is Christian? They are all mostly devil worshipers and atheists anyways. Allowing them to play dress-up and legalize their anal union in our American churches will only cause God to smite us, and we could probably expect another 9-11.

    We can probably expect on of these too

    Your children will most likely grow up gay

    Children are innocent; when they see adults doing things they think it’s ok. Often times they try to emulate these behaviors. If you catch your son playing house with little Johnny from next door you can be sure they probably seen it on a gay tv show or something. Such things are not natural in humans. You must protect your children, and in this case it means scouring the neighborhood for gay couples and making sure to avoid their hangouts when on errands and such. If you don’t they will try to rape your children. Don’t say you weren’t warned.

    They are looking downwards to find your children's sweet anal cherry

    Your pets might end up gay as well

    I got this story from a reader: “I often take my Sheepdog Charlie to the dog park. It was fine until a couple of weeks ago when I noticed a homogay lesbian couple started to frequent the place as well. All of a sudden myself and the other visitors to the dog park started to notice our dogs weren’t quite the same. They began to act in a queer homosexual way. I realized it had went too far when Charlie was raped anally by a gang of Beagles and Terriers. I am afraid to say, but that place has lost my business until they ban gays.” Food for thought.

    All hope was lost for Fido when he turned to penis

    Of course, the Jews in Hollywood will run with it

    Instead of seeing good Christian stories like the Passion of the Christ, we will be forced to watch the Passion of Phil and Johnny. The first gay romantic comedy will probably be coming out soon, and it will no doubt star either Dane Cook or Ryan Reynolds… or both opposite each other. It has already happened with lesbians, as they tend to be more butch and pushy then their male counterparts and bulldogged their way into Hollywood long ago with movies such as “Brokeback Mountain” where those two girls pretend to be cowboys.

    Gay Cowboys... Or BUTCH LESBIANS!

    The Chinese will overtake us as the world’s superpower

    It is simple economics: the Chinese have more people because they are too busy with evil communism to be going around homogaying it up and wanting to get married. If we allow gays to take over in this country we will fall behind in the post cold war economy. Gay people can’t produce kids, so we won’t have enough workers to compete. The Chinese reds will eventually become our overlords because we allowed two homofairies to tie the knot. We cannot allow our grandchildren to be named Wang and Chung because we were too politically correct to stand up to homogay marriage.

    Chinking

    Mexicans will take over as well

    Mexicans are always looking for shady ways to get green cards, and gay marriage gives them a trump card. Gay men are easily seduced by Latin giggalos, and would gladly make one a legal citizen for a few minutes of anal sinsex every week. What is to stop these gays from becoming Mormons and marrying multiple illegal immigrants? Definitely not the Mormons because they like that sort of thing. We must stop this before our country becomes nothing more than a gay Mexico.

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    About The Author
    Alex Keating Alex K. Keating is a presidential hopeful currently seeking the Republican nomination. His likes include Fox News, Ronald Reagen , and exposing Communism. Fan mail can be sent to AlexKKeating@yahoo.com.

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