The Rubber DuckNeck: How Homogays Are Convincing Your Daughters To Pleasure Them After Prom
Christwire’s research team is the finest in the world, but this time they have outdone themselves. Kudos, guys and gals in our research department, for dropping on my desk such a gem that will save so many Christian girls from becoming rapists and losing their place in heaven.
A new scourge has appeared on the Christian radar: a new homogay act meant to be played out between an unsuspecting young girl and deviant homogay atheists. It is called the “Rubber DuckNeck” and the details of this filth may not only shock but confuse you as well.
Can a sex act preformed during non-homo relations be considered gay? The shocking answer is, if it is the rubber duckneck, then yes.
Since Christwire hit the scene and brought shame to the homogay agenda everywhere, tactics have been changed to not only fool us but fool your children into participating in such filth. Thus was brought about the “Rubber DuckNeck”.
But what is it? I must warn good Christians, what you are about to read may not only shock you but totally destroy your childhood memories of your favorite bath toy. If you are brave, however, read on…
The idea is to simulate homogay acts without another homogay in the room. This means the young female, often just out of high school and inexperienced in worldly ways, must somehow become a man. Seeing as how they lack penises and most states do not allow sex offenders to purchase plastic ones this poses quite the problem for today’s average homogay. Satan, however, has shown them a way around it.
The girl must make a ‘pointy fist’. It is the sort of pose you would make with your hand and arm if you were trying to make a shadow puppet on the wall of a duck. She is then meant to stand behind the homogay so he can’t see her and can instead fantasize that she is a hairy ex-con named “Fill Him Up” Phil. He bends over and she makes the duck pose and violently pushes her hand through his anal cavity. This part of the act is often referred to as “The pecking of the duck”.
The homogay uses her for a while until he spills his satanic sin soup all over the bed and then often drops her off at the nearest gay bar for the next gay to have his way with. By the end of the night, the average girl who is introduced to the Rubber DuckNeck is forced to rape at least ten homogays in the first night alone. Many times the homogays will start to pimp her and have her doing it all over town so they can afford money to buy purses so they can play dress up in church bathrooms and infect the toilets with herpe-aids.
A shocking fact Christwire has uncovered is that many homogays are using high school proms to search out their victims. Yes, your daughter may be dead in the sights of these evils. This last year alone, as you can see by the chart below, over 10,000 young women were introduced to gay in this manner. More than half of those came out infected with herpe-aids. Next years estimates, as you will read as well, are expected to be three times that.
How can you protect your daughter? Sadly, as we are still getting information in, the Christian experts at Christwire have not ironed out a full-proof solution as of press time. The best thing to do is just keep an eye on your daughter and make sure she knows prom is out of the question until further studies can be done. If she has already went to prom, as many youth have at this time of the year, you might want to get her immediate pastoral counseling and possibly even send her to an anti-gay camp. And not one of the Mormon run deals either, they will only make her worse.
- Sinful
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- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Alex Keating
Alex K. Keating is a presidential hopeful currently seeking the Republican nomination. His likes include Fox News, Ronald Reagen , and exposing Communism. Fan mail can be sent to AlexKKeating@yahoo.com.
3:12 am
Oh no! Numbers! I’m so afraid!
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9:09 am
You should be, perverts like you are going to burn in Hell.
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9:23 am
Oh no! Mismatched data! I’m so afraid! God have mercy. *scoffs*
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12:14 pm
most graphs on the internet are made up also its girls that started this not homos read books other then the bible maybe you’ll learn some real facts
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3:33 am
morons. herpe=aids is not a real disease. And you got your numbers backwards on the charts. Far as I know, we havent yet reached 25000 yet… we are still in 2011… And gays are hiding because of the redneck agenda, NOT christwire. I havve a friend who has to pretend to be straight because not only will his family shun him, but he wouldd most likely be beat to death. Homosexuals are not hiding from you, they are hiding from prejudice.
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4:27 am
I don’t know what this hawing is that you are talking about, but I am assuming it has something to do with your friends anus. You are one sick sick person and you need Jesus.
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5:12 am
hmm. that was the v sticking on my computer keyboard. the word is have. i am not a sick person, and its people like you who make me so angry. get your facts straight. and why did you bring in my friends ass? and since i am a girl, and this rubber duckneck does not exist and i have no desire to steal my friends virginity, it has nothin to do with his ass. and i bet you are goin g to do another one of these posts on hawing, huh? then i will know it is all lies since the word is have, the v stuck so it ended up hav ve, not haw
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11:16 am
I have decided to tell you the truth about hawing. It involves me shoving my foot up the homophobic ass of ChristWire and telling it to go and fuck Lady GaGa
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11:57 am
This is so disgusting. The gays want our daughters now too? Is there no end to their perversions?
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8:06 pm
Now you’re just lacking common sense. Why would a gay MAN want to have sex with FEMALES? Oh, that’s right, you’re thinking of PEDOPHILES, not HOMOSEXUALS. It’s pretty easy to confuse the two if you’re completely mental.
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7:48 pm
Gays have no interest in women! They aren’t even really sexually attracted to straight men! They are only sexually attracted to other gays. They may make the errant comment about this guy being hot, but that would be the same as me calling another girl hot, as i have done on multiple occasions. Such as J-Lo. She is extremely beautiful (or Yolandi Visser… yummy, would so goy homo for her….) but I am not that way, and I have never participated in any sort of homosexual intercourse. My best friend is gay, I have a cousin who is gay. Both are very devout Christians, and neither would do something so…. wrong! I don’t know where you get your facts, but give me some REAL data, not this mismatched graph. You people are the reasons there are so many homosexual suicides. This makes me very sad to see a religion I was once so proud of degenerated to this. My religion was what I based my sanity on, knowing that my tormentors would most definitly be punished. But if this is the religion of Christianity, I know it no longer, and this extremist viewpoint has driven me from this religion. Thank you so much for opening my eyes to what homophobic, self-righteous bastards you are. If my friend ever commits suicide, I know who to murder. You extremist “christians”.
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Through sadness you have taught us to be one with the crowd
Unveil the sacred order, hymns of falling down
You told the greatest stories, of love and bleeding crowns
But to the sick and hungry, you cannot be found
We are young and we are strong
Through strength in self we become
Something more than they can be
I raise my heart and sing!
That I wont believe this lie
I know there’s something more inside
Darkness is all you see
This is our Sweet Blasphemy
Silence the crooked holy, unchain the tied and bound
No time for allegory, one true reigning sound
Unite the lonely mourning, a simple servant now
We are the only glory, hear us screaming loud
We are young and we are strong
I raise my heart and sing!
That I wont believe this lie
I know there’s something more inside
Darkness is all you see
This is our Sweet Blasphemy
We are young and we are strong
Through strength in self we become
Something more than they can be
This is our Sweet Blasphemy
That I wont believe this lie
I know there’s something more inside
Darkness is all you see
This is our Sweet Blasphemy
That I wont believe this lie
I know there’s something more inside
Darkness is all you see
This is our Sweet Blasphemy
~Sweet Blasphemy, Black Veil Brides
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2:01 am
Reasons why this is completely ridiculus:
1. Your daughter is MUCH more likely to participate in sex with a straight man after prom, and if she does, it will most likely be willingly, seeing how most guys aren’t natural rapists.
2. A gay guy is NOT going to force a female to have sex, ever, even if that guy happens to be a rapist. IF he was a rapist, he would rape another guy. Obviously.
3. IF this has happened to your daughter, it was because she either a) suggested it or b) agreed to do it…the latter being less probable seeing as a gay guy wouldn’t want to have sex with a female.
4. A man (or woman) is not defined by his/her sexual orientation. Homosexuals are people. Some are good, some aren’t, just like heterosexuals. There are plenty of christian homosexuals. There are many homosexuals enjoying faithful, devoted relationships. Open your mind before you open your mouth. Spread love, not hate.
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5:31 pm
What the fuck is this shit!?
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