• Top 12 Gay Cars: That Want to Tailgate You

    June 12, 2011 7:39 pm 54 comments

    Go to any Sunday service and you will notice that almost all of the cars are good large American cars. Buick’s, Cadillac’s, Chevy’s even the occasional Ford or Dodge. Why are those cars parked up front? Those cars are driven by the people who want to get to church early, by the good folks who crave the word of the lord and live the life that he has described for us.

    You’ll notice that in the back are the Toyota’s and Honda’s. Those are the people who come at the last minute, the ones who are more concerned about 30 minutes more sleep than the nourishment of the lord. Many people find it amusing how we can see what one’s choice in vehicular conveyance says about that person.

    It is a fact and has been written about several times on christwire about the damage that the wrong choice in vehicle can have on you. Not only does it infect you, but it affects how other people see you. What message do you what to get across? “I am a proud American” or “I like it in the pooper”.

    The following list is cars you probably want to stay away from unless your the captain of the High School Wrestling team.

    TOP 12 GAY CARS

    Fiat 500
    After the German Huns Invaded Dodge and Chrysler and ravaged them leaving them in a heap in the corner crying in the fetal position, they then sold them off to Cerberus Capital Management, a private equity investment firm, like a cheap slave girl. Dodge is still recovering from the abuse they have taken in the last few years but now they are owned by Fiat.

    As of 2009, Fiat was the world’s ninth largest car maker as well as Italy’s largest car maker. Although Italy was our enemy in WWII, and are the home of the Catholic heresy, they have come to represent a valid ally to the US. Fiat in the 70′s left the US walking with their tail between their legs. They were walking away because their cars wouldn’t run. But I hear they are of a much better quality now.

    Fiats first entry into the US in decades is the Fiat 500. One look will tell you that it is designed for teenage girls and homosexuals.

    Mazda MX-5(AKA Miata)
    Japan’s Mazda, known for it’s “wankle” engine, first brought it’s MX-5 to our shores in 1989. It was universally accepted by women and homosexual men. Strangely it also gained some renown in road racing circles. But to this day the car has never overcome the gay stigma, and for good reason.

    Smart Fortwo
    This 4 wheeled fag hag is an abomination from the land of the Huns, Germany. Smart is a German manufacturer, an automotive branch of Daimler AG, of microcars produced in Hambach, France, and Böblingen, Germany.
    The current generation of so called “smart cars” uses an engine sourced from Mitsubishi Motors, completing the axis of evil.

    Volkswagon Beatle/Bug
    This car is the quintessential gay car. In 1933, Adolf Hitler gave the order to Ferdinand Porsche to develop a Volkswagen (“people’s car” in German), and it has been corrupting the morals of young drivers for almost 9 decades. Beware any man driving one.

    German Cars in General
    As just stated, Ferdinand Porsche took orders directly from Hitler. Besides unleashing Volkswagen upon the public he was also the Nazi mastermind behind his own creation…Porsche!

    Any car from Germany is subject to be driven by a homosexual at any time. Many articles on Chirstwire have been written about the dangers of German society.

    Some of the other makes of German cars that you should watch out for are Mercedes-Benz, Bavarian Motor Works (aka BMW), Audi, Porsche, Volkswagon, and the Mini Cooper.

    English Cars in General
    Much like Germany, England is a country of sinful smutty filth. Just like their television programs that they export to the world to ruin it’s morals, their cars are cesspits of sin and damnation.

    In the 1950′s, they exported hundreds of thousands of little underpowered convertible sports cars around the world. Few know that the Mazda Miata is the “spiritual successor” to these vile cars. In the early 1960′s Great American, Carrol Shelby (a man despite the name), took one of these cars and put a manly American engine it it and called it the Cobra.

    In 1961 the English, under the guise of car maker Jaguar created the ultimate in homosexual cars. The Jaguar E-type. It is a car that is shaped like a penis! Nothing can be gayer than that!

    Honda Civic
    Honda first introduced the Civic in 1972. In the last decade it has become a poster child for the homosexual youth culture, who often dress them up with tacky and gaudy spoilers, plastic bits and tattoos reminiscent of tribal Japanese art. Usually these Japanese characters that they place on the cars describe the types of homosexual acts they prefer to engage in.

    Toyota Prius
    This car almost goes with out saying. Everyone knows it is gay, I am not even going to discuss it further.

    American Cars!?!?!?
    Many find it surprising that American cars can be gay, It usually isn’t the fault of the car, company, or design, but is due to unusual acceptance by the gay community. One such example is the…

    Mustang 5.0
    Ford Motor Company (aka FoMoCo) introduced the Mustang in 1963. Carrol Shelby mentioned earlier called the car “A secretaries Car”. Ford Brought Shelby on to make the Mustang more manly with his Shelby Mustangs.

    In 1979 Ford brought out the newly designed third generation mustang. The design ran until 1993. It was an extra long life for the car as the car Ford designed to replace it, was so gay Mustang owners complained by the millions. This car became the Probe, a fitting name for a car that got so much anal stimulation.

    During the end of the run for the car the homosexual community decided they “LOVED IT!”. To this very day the Mustang 5.0 in universally owned by homosexuals. It is often used by Drag Racers such as Rupaul.

    Chevy Aveo
    With such a booming market as homosexuals, and with financial problems on the horizon GM had to appeal to any market available. This homosexual target vehicle manufactured since 2002, by the South Korean General Motors subsidiary, GM Daewoo and later by other GM-affiliated entities, is custom made for the gay market. Just look at the rear hatch, it is ready for lots of rear entry.

    The Hummer
    Originally produced for the US military, and then with production of civilian versions GM was hoping for a bang. Unfortunately they got a gang bang from the massive amount of homosexuals who were drawn to the truck for it’s name. GM was not aware that a “hummer” is code for a homosexual sex act using the mouth and phallus.

    Harley Davidson
    For decades promiscuous women and homosexual men have been drawn to the rhythmic vibrations of motorcycles. They have even formed gangs and groups dedicated to getting their sinful jollies while riding around in public while wearing leather and chaps.

    I hope you have found this informative. Please think twice before purchasing your next vehicle, and for those of you with children coming of age, think about what message they will be conveying with that new car, do you want it to be gay or American?

    GOD BLESS

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    About The Author
    Susan B. Xenu Although over 80 years old, she is still a woman of unparalleled intellect and passion. She brings her spiritual fire to every aspect of her life. A widow, she lives in Atlanta, Ga and has been active in her church for over seven decades! "Sister Susan" has been a popular Christian author for over 30 years. She has written numerous books on the bible, as well as for Christwire and her own blog. She will soon be launching NewsOfChrist.com with friend, and pastor Chuck D. Finley. She loves hearing from fans, add her on Facebook or Twitter.

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