Due to my position at Christwire I was invited by my local movie cinema to watch the new Transformers movie and write a review of it on Christwire. As I have never see it before I really wasn’t interested, but as my youngest grandson (a whippersnapper at a mere 35) is a huge Transformers nerd and insisted that I take him and a few of the Great Grand Kids. I figured I could get an article out for this week and at least get to watch some fancy cars as one of the carbots is a Camaro.
Even grannies like Camaros
The movie starts out with a revisionist history of the space program and the true reason behind the Space Race. I personally hate revisionist histories, I feel that history is best taught the way that it actually happened.
The Automobots head to the Moon to retrieve their previous leader Sentient Prime, who has a dificult time with the current leader of the Automobots Optibus Prime. It turns out that Optibus Prime is to end a war that has raged among his people…uh, robots, for millions of years. But,Optibus does not want to make peace as he and his group are illegal aliens on Earth and have found jobs that humans don’t want such as working at Chernobyl. The legitimate government of their planet lead by Megaton of the Decetivcon Party, works with the humans to send them back home, but like mexicans they sneak back in and create another civil war on Earth.
Optibus begs Sentient Prime not to send them back to their home planet Cyberexico
Meanwhile human Sam Nitwitty is fornicating away with his girlfriend named Carla, who is played by a Victoria’s Secret underwear model who obviously had plenty of “casting couch” time with Micheal Bay the director.
This camel toed whorelot sullies the movie with her sin treats
Towards the end of the movie Optibus Prime goes on a killing spree heartlessly killing countless Deceptivcons, who are under orders to defend Chicago from the rampaging Automobots.
I am afraid that I can not recommend this movie as it try’s to hard to be a statement on illegal worker rights, and bringing down the legitimate government. There is also a huge amount of violence. Do we want to teach our children to fight the law and to shoot people in the face and rip their heads off?
To much robot violence for this grand ma
Then there is the acting of the Carla actress which is atrocious. I think Sam Nitwitty would be better off without a fornicatious whorelot girlfriend. He also has a very foul mouthed mother that enjoys droping the F bomb every time she has a scene.
Why are robot bugs farting at buildings?
There were even times where the movie put me to sleep only to awaken me with overly loud explosions. But my grandson who has loved Transformers since the 1980’s, disagrees with me. He says that it was a great movie and has posted positively giddy reviews of it on his facebook. He does agree that the Carla woman should go back to making men fornicate theirselves over her softcore porn career. He said that the way they make fun of Sam’s previous girlfriend Megan Fox was rude and uncalled for.
But you can listen to me or a man who is 35 and wore a transformers t-shirt with Deceptivcon Clown Wave on it to the movie.