First the yankees brought fire and destruction to Atlanta, then they brought theirselves down here, then finally they brought the worst scourge of them all…HOCKEY!!!
For years we have been forced to pretend that we care about French Canadians skating around playing with heir pukes. But no longer! The great majority of Atlantians have rose up and decided to rid their great town of this evil menace!
Fans of the “sport” of hockey may realize that this is not the first time. The Flames left for Calgary in 1980and now The Thrashers are following them to Canada! The company to deliver us of this evil is True North Sports and Entertainment, which announced the deal during a news conference at Winnipeg’s MTS Centre, the 15,015-seat arena where the team will play. The news sparked a raucous celebration in Manitoba’s largest city, which is rejoining the league after losing the Jets to Phoenix in 1996. The deal is worth $170 million, including a $60 million relocation fee that will be split by the rest of the league, a source told ESPN.com.
As an insult to Atlanta, the Thrashers name which was coined by former owner Ted Turner and referred to the state bird of Georgia will not be going north of the border. The new team could also be known as the Jets, though a decision on the name has not been reached.
In Atlanta, there was little reaction, as people who live in 90 degree temperatures do not care about sports played on ice as it is not naturally occurring in god’s creation here, other than a tearful news conference held by co-owner Michael Gearon. He said the group that controls the Thrashers, the NBA’s Atlanta Hawks and operating rights to Philips Arena did all it could to find someone who would help keep the financially ailing team in the city. But no one made a serious offer, as good christians know that hockey does not belong in the SOUTH!