• Atheists’ Science IQ Loses Spark, Bible Explains Static Electricity

    July 6, 2011 11:37 am 19 comments
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  • Atheists tout superiority in the Sciences with the same predictable ebb and flow of the tides. For the past century, tearing imaginary holes in faith based explanations for creation have been the focus of the Atheists’ skepticism and a hale, hearty hubris of scientific superiority. A new finding on static electricity effectively strips Atheists of this undeserved dominance in science and reveals a possible reason for the gap or blind spot embedded in their know-it-all cultural mores.

    For homeschooled Christian scholars, the familiar Bible verse of Jeremiah introduces the concept of static electricity. It is the same verse used by founding father, Benjamin Franklin, when designing his famous experiment with the key and kite.

    Jer 10:13 When he uttereth his voice, there is a multitude of waters in the heavens, and he causeth the vapours to ascend from the ends of the earth; he maketh lightnings with rain, and bringeth forth the wind out of his treasures.

    With this scripture God is describing to Job that the condensation of water vapor causes static electricity in the form of lightning. Atheist scientists studying lightning discovered that this can be disproven in the science laboratory with balloons and hair. Excited with another way to hate God, Atheists quickly published findings in science books for children to learn incorrectly about the nature of static electricity – that different objects (like balloons and hair) produce static electricity but not same objects like two pages sticking together.

    A new discovery supports same objects like paper are capable of producing static electricity. This represents a definitive gap between what many have learned in the liberally biased, godless halls of academia and what Christians have always known but only now is hailed as truth.

    Anyone with a new Kings James Version of the Holy Bible knows static electricity will attract two pages together. This makes keeping up with a sermon reference more difficult. I’ve encountered this issue and keep rubber thumb slip covers in my pocketbook to ensure rapid flipping of pages so I may read as well as hear the word during a sermon. I rarely attend service without my scripture thumb rubbers.

    One would think that exposure and observation of the static pages phenomenon would be universal to both Christians and Atheists since the same type of paper is used in other books; yet this isn’t the case. Although dictionaries and encyclopedias also use the same type of lightweight offset paper or uncoated wood free paper, Atheists have no need for such reference materials because they already know everything or claim to have written them in the first place. Some want ideological friction to explain everything or at least keep honest discussion to a minimum.

    Another explanation for the gap in serious study of static electricity most likely stems from the Atheists’ natural aversion to God’s judgment in the form of being struck by lightning and by default its younger cousin, the static shock. Some have proposed hypotheses to test this fear scientifically to no avail.

    Are atheists more susceptible to static electricity shocks than religious people? Whenever it’s windy, I am forever getting static shocks; virtually every time I touch another living thing or something metal that is insulated from the ground, I get zapped. Now’ I’m about as atheistic as you can get so I’m just wondering if there’s a link between atheism and susceptibility to static electricity.

    Further evidence of this faithless fear of divine fulguration can be found in the doubting forums frequented by Atheists. In a debunking discussion of commonly believed benefits and uses for a popular anti-static laundry cloth, one of the skeptics hints at the cloth’s power to repel Atheists and the physical reaction to exposure.

    …I find that the odor of Bounce makes me nauseous… I guess I’m allergic to the perfume they use. *bleah*

    In addition to promoting static electricity as something that will make one sick, the fear of God’s tap also manifest as an underground sexual fetish. Diagrams slipped innocently into science books depict masturbation using cloths and rods. Naughty teacher pictures are shared in computer class demoralizing instructors with humiliating poses and situations. Asians seem to produce the bulk of these pornographic photographs. As the cultural cradle for Atheist mores, we expect nothing less.

    Over all, Christians should be pleased with the vindication of scriptural science for static electricity and ever vigilant to the real danger of close proximity to an Atheist. I’ve found that keeping a dryer sheet in my Bible works well to not only reduce sticky pages, but also repel Atheists intent on usurping the word.


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    About The Author
    Blanche Beecham "Blanche Beecham lends a soft, learned hand to the fourth estate with incite-full investigations on diverse topics such as Politics, Love, and Lifestyle. Her many years experience as a wife, mother, ladies book club president and financial auditor make her well suited to ferreting out the truth and giving it a sound shake." - Rev. Jackson Lee Whitebelley, Publisher and Editor of "The Incubator" - Follow me on Twitter! @BLANCHEBEECHAM

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