• Does Public Breastfeeding Have a Place in Civilized Society?

    July 3, 2011 8:39 am 62 comments
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  • It is one thing to be on Grandpa Joe’s farm or on wild safari when you see a stretch-mark addled sow breastfeeding her young, but when a man is at the workplace there is a certain decorum that must be held. There is a degree of professionalim and class that make it requisite for a lactating mother to keep her sagging udders behind a thick blouse and supported bra. Men should at no point, at work or even shopping, have to turn their head to avoid a mother who insists on ‘breastpumping’ or ‘milking’ herself via her child’s gaping mouth.

    Today’s topic kicked off fresh today after an irate shrewdness of knuckedrugging feminists lamented and rallied after a mother was kicked off a bus for pulling out her mammaliam ludicrosities and letting a child ogle her until milk come out. The feminists beat their hairy chests and cried in natural fashion, claiming that the mother had every right to expose everyone to a disgusting feeding session.

    Now many of you young men may not find the problem with this. Great, a free eye-show. Just know that the girl you’re dating now is a deceiver. Sure, she may look tight and supple now, but give it 10 years and five kids yanking on her dairy teats. You will see her body stretch like playdo and the only thing tight about it will be her shrewd coldness in the bedroom as Junior greedily feasts upon her dairy farm and you lay on the otherside, blueballed and rocking yourself to sleep. Sounds dismal? Good, because it is your wither chested, flabbing wife that is ruining the public domain for the rest of us who want to go a day without seeing a bare sag-chested woman and her suckling litter of vermin.

    Women have every much right to breastfeed as I have to splurge my man essence all over the bent over slutty secretary’s backside. Oh, sounds bad? Good. Because it is absolutely disguting that in this day and age, in our culture, that women think the public is fair grounds for a National Georgraphic Display.

    At this point some feminists are mad and will try to say a Christian should not talk like this. It is natural and of God for a woman to feed a child. To these loud-mouthed disrespecters, I challenge you this.

    Do you feel artificial when you eat a Taco Bell bean burrito meal and need to unleash porcelain Armageddon after lunch break? Do you really think I want to watch you stream yellow fountains of caffeinated corrosion after you and your little gossip harpies down Mountain Dew after Mountain Dew during your shopping day?


    If we did natural functions wherever the hell we wanted, Earth would look and smell like the hippo cage at the zoo, with a slight essence of tit milk. You feminists harpies screech and scratch for the most insane rights, as if a woman really has the right to force me to see her breast, especially off-guard.

    There is also the sick issue of how long mothers breastfeed their children. Some of these kids must be upwards of 8 months or even a year. What sort of sick person has a child suckling her tit as she proudly lets the sun shine and my eyes shine and every other damn person’s eye shine on what she is doing, giving a coy look if your eye dares stand around too long in absolute horror and disgust. Where does the line between motherhood duty and perversion exist in this sick, new world we live in?

    There is no cause to be had here, but as usual Hollywood has reared its ugly head.  There is now a massive movement to nationalize women’s right to breastfeed wherever they want.  How will the law work?  Let’s put it like this.

    A black guy sits down for lunch at your store.  You tell him, “Stop being black here or get out!”  You just violated his Civil Rights.  Women who breastfeed are now getting that same immunity.  Yes, the Democrats are working to make breastfeeding a Civil Right.  And at the helm, Hollywood milk bombs.

    Salma Hayek

    Selma Hayek feeds a gaping mouth in this publicity shot, one of a set of 3o that just get worse and worse from this image.  Look at how she forces us to look at her milk-addled yet surprisingly firm and taut milk sacs.  Look at her let that baby sloppily lap its lip on her delicate protrusions, even though the child is not even hers.  This just shows you how resolute Hollywood is to strip our right away to not be forced seeing everyday, melting silicone chested mothers go through this nasty ritual.

    The day of doom is coming for many men.  There will be harassment suits and vomiting of bile when all is said and done, for there is not much worse a fate than seeing your wife stretched and waddling around like a cow, then taking it to the next level by lactating milk that the young suck from her.  Gross, feminists and you greedily selfish mothers.  Get a room.

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    About The Author
    Derek Van Buren

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