Evolution explained.

• ChristWire
July 3, 2011 11:44 am72 comments

My fellow believers, as we have all come to know, appreciate and accept as truth, the words of God, transcript in the bible. The words of which truth behold and none-other prevail over. Though many believe that something as simple as is written in the first few pages of the bible is a “mistruth”, some may even go to the lengths of saying it is a “lie”.

‘Evolution’ as it is called, is the concept I am talking about. In the unholy scientists eyes, a creatue or plant, from whom God created in his infinite wisdom, may over many years, decades, centuries or maybe even millenia, may change their bodily dynamics. My question is, how, why and wouldn’t it be obvious for them to do this?

How do they change their bodies? do they think they’re growing a tail and in a century they’ll have a tail? It seems preposterous to a rational-minded-Christian, but apparently not in the eyes of “science”

Why do these Creatures need to change? God made them how he wanted them, they have all that they need in order to survive, as they are evidently surviving as they’ve done for so long.

My final question would be, wouldn’t it be obvious?
For example, one of the most insane allegations is that “Humans derive from the same ancestors as monkeys”, should there not be a bridge between monkeys and humans then? Some sort of species of half-human half-monkeys already in existence?!
It doesn’t exist because that’s not how God’s will planned for creations to exist. They are how they are, Humans are made in his image, different to animals, unsubjected to any false concept of “Evolution”. It is merely slanderous Scientists trying to disprove God, and failing at it.

If the concept of “Evil”ution did exist (theoretically)
Would we not be able to create larger vegetables and animals able to feed more people? It would be violating that of what is fact through Genesis as well as other parts of the bible!

If Evolution existed. It’s been two Millenia since the time of Jesus, why have we not Changed and why have the animals and plants around us not changed?
The only conclusion is that, as to what coincides with Gods will. Evolution doesn’t exist. Creatures, Plants and Mankind were created exactly how the Lord wanted, Each with their own needs and purposes. Never changing as perfection is.

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72 Comments

  • You make an excellent point that the “scientists” just can’t come to grips with;

    “It’s been two Millenia since the time of Jesus, why have we not Changed and why have the animals and plants around us not changed?”

    That is approximately 1/3 of the time that the universe has existed. Any trained scientist would surely question why profound changes in humans have not occured in that time period.

    Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 4 Thumb down 27

    • You clearly have a tight grasp on the concept of evolution and the timeline of the universe.

      There is just one proplem with this article and your point about the universe being only ~6000 years old:

      Dinosaus.

      Oh, and the thousands of fossils that have been discovered since Darwin first posed his theory of evolition. These fossils all prove exactly what the theory claimed. You can actually trace a species evolutionary chain with these fossils. Did God create all of these varied creatures, updating them over millions of years like a piece of software? If so I can’t wait for the Great White Shark v.19992.2122.00002 to be released. I hear it has bluetooth capability.

      No I am just being ridiculous, clearly God placed those fossils in the ground to test our faith.

      Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 30 Thumb down 1

      • Young man,

        What is Dinosaus?

        Is that some sort of French cooking?

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        • here an anti evolution joke http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=247#comic also we have changed we have been getting taller or did you not notice some older homes are almost too samll for some peopl

          Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

        • …2 millenia is 2 million years. Wasn’t jesus born 2000 years ago? And how does the planet, let alone the universe, being billions of years old translate to 1/3 of 2000 years? is this a mathematical error or are you people truly that insane?

          funny article though, gotta give you that. it terrifies me that some people could actually be this moronic. even though this is clearly just a joke article, its scary cuz some people really do believe this shit! *shudders*

          Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 11 Thumb down 3

          • Dude, a “millennia” is most definitely a thousand (1,000) years.

            Think of the Spanish for thousand, for example.

            Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

          • Umm, from the dictionary:

            mil·len·ni·um
               /mɪˈlɛniəm/ Show Spelled[mi-len-ee-uhm] Show IPA
            noun, plural -ni·ums, -ni·a  /-niə/ Show Spelled[-nee-uh] Show IPA.
            1.
            a period of 1000 years.

            Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 1

        • You’re dumb.

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    • The author of this post shows a basic lack of what the Theory of Evolution is, and in science in general.
      Evolution is not an animal thinking he’ll grow a tail and then it has a tail, its random, genetic mutations. In the rare event that a mutation is favorable to the survival and procreation of that member of the species, it is possible for that trait to be passed on more often, and spread throughout the species, until the whole species is changed. It takes many thousands of years for changes to a whole species to be apparent, ie not perceptable for humans and difficult to imagine for uneducated people.
      When this theory was proposed, they had no idea what the mechanism for evolution was. Since that time, we’ve discovered Genetics, which is the vehicle for Evolution to occur. Genetic science is not in doubt. We have a firm grasp of it. And involves measurable and testable science.
      There doesn’t need to be some half-man-half-monkey species to prove we are descended from the same species. We may be separated by many different species on the evolutionary tree since our common ancestor, and it is perfectly reasonable that those species are extinct. It just takes that much time for evolution to occur, and new species displace the old ones causing extinction.
      If you think Evolution can’t exist because we haven’t seen some new super-human come to replace us, you’re way off track and lack basic understanding of the principles of evolution.

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      • clearly you sir show basic lack of knowledge of anything, and will eat up any garbage your spewed by uneducated heathens. The earth is 6000 years old. Read the bible sometime! Oh sure we have carbon dating blah blah blah blah blah, How often is science wrong hm??? there constantly changing their minds opinions ect. The bible has been a steadfast truth for two thousand years. Beat that homie. Praise be to god.

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        • Dear Piety,

          Fact: The Christian Bible the set of books that a Christian denomination regards as divinely inspired and thus constituting the Christian Bible. Although the Early Church primarily used the Greek Old Testament, the Septuagint or LXX, or the Targums among Aramaic speakers, the apostles did not otherwise leave a defined set of new scriptures; instead the New Testament developed over time.

          It is a collection of books, written by MAN over a period of a few thousand years. It has been translated thousands and thousands of time, and like everything that is translated, things get ‘lost in translation’. Also, the Bible was meant to be interpreted for the meanings of it’s passages to inspire people. You cannot take every word that’s written literally!

          For you to say that the earth is only 6,000 years old is a farse. Geology doesn’t lie. You can tell how old the earth by many natural structures world wide. This provers that the earth is much older than 6,000 years. This than leads to evolution and the dismissible fact that it has taken place and is happen right now. I suggest you read this article. It is one of the current physical proofs that evolution happens.

          http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peppered_moth_evolution

          How do you know that God didn’t create evolution for us to discover? Keep an open mind “homie”, it’ll do you good.

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    • No, it’s been approximately 13.7 billion years since the beginning of the universe, as far as EVIDENCE tells us (evidence, not book written by bronze age goat herders) and animals (including humans) and plants have continued to evolve. It’s a slow process though. Unimaginably (at least it’s unimaginable to somebody that actually believes the earth is only 6000 years old) slow. Humans have gone through evolutionary changes with average birth age changing in population and corresponding to genetic alleles. ‘Profound’ changes occuring in only 2000 years would discredit the theory of evolution, about which you clearly don’t have any idea anyway. And furthermore, are you really Harold Camping? Or is this a joke? Gee, it’s been a month since the universe ended Camping, and all things considered I feel quite well. Perhaps you should go back to your book of allegories and parables and try yours maths again, because surely your scientific technique can’t be flawed here! Oxygen thieves, all of you. Grow spine, join in real world, thank you. Eternal love, K.

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  • Captain Obvious

    This makes me think of a meme: “you can’t explain that!”

    And Harold, the reason we haven’t changed significantly is that evolution happens over tens of thousands of years. Our average brain capacity, height, and unfortunately weight have grown in comparison to previous generations, and humans are gradually losing their small toe. All of this is measurable on a generational scale.

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    • Captain Oblivious,

      It’s no wonder that “evolution” hasn’t been, nor ever can be proven.

      The theory posits that we descended from The Monkees, who previously had crawled out of a primordial soup as air-breathing fish.

      And all you can offer is Gutenberg, McDonalds and Jimmy Choo as evidence?

      Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 15

      • “The theory posits that we descended from The Monkees”

        No it doesn’t.

        And as for it not being able to be proven, prove that the bible is correct without actually using the bible for evidence. Pull up the documentation and records of what happened all those years ago.

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        • Christian Intellectual

          Scientists have never proven that the Bible is incorrect.

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          • It’s not their job to prove that you’re right, it’s their job to prove that they’re right, and considering all of the evidence that already proves that something’s fishy with the bible, they don’t need to prove that it’s incorrect when there’s already so much debate going on inside of the religious community.

            Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 0

          • The bible has never dismissed Science.

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        • ” ‘The theory posits that we descended from The Monkees’

          No it doesn’t.”

          But it would be kind of awesome if it did!

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      • …The Monkees are a band, from the 60′s, I believe.

        Only a few people are probably descended from them. =P

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  • First, you cannot grow a tail unless you need it. And, in our current conditions, we most certainly don’t need them.

    As an example of evolution, let me state that, back when Jesus was born, the average height was about 20cm shorter than nowadays. Why? Because our necessities changed; because we needed to be taller to perform certain tasks that we wouldn’t have been capable of performing with our reduced heights.

    Also, think about this: isn’t it better to think that God could create creatures so advanced that they could morph and grow according to their needs? A great way to prove that God’s power goes BEYOND what we know. Intelligent design, no doubt!

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    • Young lady,

      Please leave this discussion to your elders.

      Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 19

      • Why so? The same way you can post your opinion, I have a right to show my own point of view, even if it doesn’t please you.

        Let us discuss this like civilized people, respecting eachothers’ right to express.

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        • Chuck D. Finley Lenard neemoy

          Forget it nogalina old fart head’s needs to pull his head out of his butt

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          • … excuse me? Did I insult you or Mr. Camping? No. I didn’t. Therefore, don’t insult me.

            Also, I’m no old guy. Thank you very much.

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          • ….the guy above was AGREEING with you…saying that that dumbass who is saying you are too young to have an opinion is an old fart with his head in his ass. and i agree. but he’ll die soon, and then the joke will be on him ;)

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    • Businessman Hank Businessman Hank

      Tall people get more action. It has nothing to do with their greater ability to survive in human society. Tall people haven’t had a distinct advantage, besides being more attractive, in a long long time.

      Oh, and … uh. Evolution is … bunk. And stuff.

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    • We’re taller because food is more abundant. Evolution would not work that quickly

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  • ccunningham

    I loled. Reminds me of Mrs.garrison in south park talking about monkey fish frog buttsex. But anyways the site is a pretty funny satire on extreme conservatives and their actions so try not to get too worked up if you’re agnostic /atheist like me. Only problem is I assume they delete comments like this because its funnier if they maintain the illusion

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    • Ilovethissite

      Kirwin Watson and Bryan Butvidas are the awesome creators of this wonderful satire

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  • Chuck D. Finley Lenard neemoy

    wow evolution explained in 6 paragraphs/23 paragraphs. So very informative I pooped myself and then popanator ate it.

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  • Christian Intellectual

    I AM NOT A MONKEY !

    We need to remove this filth from our schools.

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    • Correct! You are not! But we do have very distant ancestors in common with other great apes! The DNA similarity is astounding! Go evolution and science!

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    • you’re right, you’re a moron! maybe if you listened in school you would understand this concept, and not innaccurately assume evolution labels humans as monkeys. lol, although i have met a few chimpanzees who seem to be more intelligent than some of you guys. of course, those are apes, not monkeys, but thats for a different discussion. WAIT! OMG! its weird, almost like…how apes and monkeys share an ancestor but are not the same..maybe…oh no…uh oh… :P

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    • @Christian Intellectual

      You’re right! You’re not a monkey! They’ve surpassed you intellectual level!

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  • You guys are idiots

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  • The bible is a theory in its self jesus could have just been a humble preacher with good morals and people have warped and twisted the story into making it glorified.EVOLUTION IS RIGHT you are an idiot if you don’t believe these things humans did evolve from a cousin of monkeys but people like you don’t believe it because of the missing link,well there is much overwhelming evidence that can prove you freaks WRONG.

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  • Obvious Troll is Obvious. Hahahahahahhahaha

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  • http://www.facebook.com/Cidius
    GDAY MY NAMES GEOFFERY AND IM TOO MUCH OF A PUSSY TO PUT MY REAL NAME ON HERE.
    IM AN ATHIESTIC FAGGOT WHO DOESN’T REALISE THAT ATHIESIM IS A RELIGION.
    IM ALSO GAY LOVERS WITH PAUL LAWRENCE OLSEN.
    MY GIRLFRIEND IS REALLY A MAN AND I LOVE HER PENIS

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  • George Langford

    I appreciate all your replies, if anybody has any questions about this article, or any other religious matter, please feel free to message me at my personal email, brainy_langford@hotmail.com. I can assure you I have a strong belief in the truth and have a solid reasoning and understanding of nearly any issue, primarily those controversial in nature, and I would especially like to hear from other believers. PS: when emailing me, can you use “ChristWire” in the subject? it makes it a little easier for me to sort things out =)

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    • no one cares. just go drink the kool aid already and let the rest of us live in peace in reality…

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  • I think you should go back to making to making bad music. The internet isn’t for children.

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  • Oh and please learn to spell *Geoffrey. You’re as pathetic as ever I see

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  • Fixed your name. Doesn’t change the fact that you were just screen-capped lying about your name and your intensions.
    How about you do something useful in life instead of posting shit on FB that only your boombah friend likes?
    And don’t say “you’re as pathetic as ever”
    For one, you don’t know who I am, for TWO, I’m not the one stirring up crap on a Christian site just because you don’t have any faith in your pointless life.
    Get a life.

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    • George Langford

      Well well, looks like I have some more enlightening to do, always this way, smart teach the ignorant, wise show the arrogant and I’m always the one to bother about it.
      You keep getting things wrong, it’s a bother having to correct you. First off, Atheism- Rejection of a belief, not a belief in nothing. It’s technically not a religion, quite a misconception. I do know who you are, You’ve made yourselves obvious with the picture – Mutual friends, nice little facebook addition if you don’t mind me saying, hiding doesn’t help when your opponents seem to double both yours and your partners combined IQ’s on their own. You work with some friends of mine, they tell me it’s next too impossible to get fired from there…If it were my guess, I’d assume you’d be high on the firing list if they ever got one. Both myself and my girlfriend both have a faith.

      Now about this site, unlike you, I have reason. My intentions were to tell the truth through a lie. Mimicking beliefs though with truths hidden, the idea is that a perceptive and rational person would be able to see it, logically you aren’t one.
      The second point of this was to point out the lax publications these articles are done under, by doing this, the ChristWire articles lose a lot of credit, which I believed they were wrongfully entitled too, If you wish to discredit me, first see who I was discrediting and perhaps question who the victims of these articles and skewed beliefs are.

      Also, Let’s see, doing things with my life? Let’s see,My Girlfriend and I are both going to university, Both with career paths in the way, both stable, both in demand, both what we love and both able to get a house on our own, let alone together, when we finally graduate…What about you? Oh poor little you, working your job that took you…how many hours training to be able to do? We’re spending Years getting ours and we’re going to be able to have something to show for it. Where as you…poor little you…maybe…maybe one day, after tonnes of luck, may get to a manage position, y’know…below average pay, then who knows, those decades of hard work might be able to pay off that shack you may one day live in.
      Let’s see what else, what else.
      You don’t have a career path in the way do you? Or wait oh wait, tafey-tafe maybe…Oh whats that? People don’t even need to finish highschool to get in there! Oh dear, it might seem like you’re uneducated! By Golly, that might make sense with your lacking research! Oh Dear, Oh Dear. I have to least credit the ones on this site for quoting the bible so often. Though, don’t try that – the words used in the bible are useless to somebody who can’t gather their proper definitions, I’m afraid most dictionaries wouldn’t be able to help there either…You could ask somebody smart perhaps, or a nice person here to help. Though don’t use a religion to fight a battle, especially not against me, that’d be like battling with a spoon against and claymore and trust me, I’m not the type to take silverware to a battlefield. I doubt you’d be religious, if you are. I must say, you might want to turn tail, head for the books, study, and try not cutting in line for a visit to the fallen angel? I don’t think I’d bother reading your reply, though, I don’t know, maybe your lover/cheater boy could write me a diss? Oh how lovely, a song just for me? What would it be about? How I had such a level of empathy to be able to sway an audience into believing I’m something different? Perhaps about my Alias’s, more unique than my real name, not a hidden identity really, it’s more of a specified identity,less traceable too! How I have a vocabulary, spell-check and a mental capacity to win arguments if you had one to propose to me? Well well, I call them qualities, They all give me benifits.Let’s see, a slander about my arrogance or maybe even appearance? Calling the kettle black as to say? (If you don’t know what that saying means, then honestly. Go home, you’re not worth my breathe, ignoramus)
      It’s undoubtable that my empathetic charms, grasp of most lanes of knowledge, talents, virtues and future are far more impressive then yours.
      You think you’re that great to question Me alone, let alone my Girlfriend aswell. Either one of us amount to more than you. Prove me otherwise. Be a good person, I dare you, we manage to help others, unlike most people, I’ve never heard something like that about you, not once, not ever. Here’s the difference. I can forgive, I can’t completely forget and I have essentially no wrongs to right. You evidently can’t apologize and you probably won’t remember these things quite right, but most of all, you have masses of wrongs to right, both as a couple, and on your own, to others and to yourselves. Everybody is more intellegent then you two are, I don’t know why you bother. But, I must admit it’s absolutely hilarious when you do!

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      • Stormie Manson TokioHotel.BOTDF.Lauren

        One of the few people on here that can reprimand someone without sounded like a moron. I applaud you!

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      • Businessman Hank Businessman Hank

        Alright, that’s quite enough sir. I think we’re all perfectly capable of having a civil discussion here without wagging our dicks around making personal attacks. This was the most condescending pile of crap I’ve ever read, it didn’t address any of the points made in the article, and it was positively LITTERED with grammatical errors. You sir, are not intelligent enough to post here, nor polite.

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        • Businessman Hank Businessman Hank

          Ah! I meant to respond to the post BELOW, not above. My apologies to the author here.

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  • Fine then, name me.
    And FYI I have a BOYFRIEND. I’m a chick, dude.
    *breath, not breathe.
    Seriously, give my first name, dare you.
    I think the game was up when I uploaded the screen caps and you said “your girlfriend.”
    I’m a chick, and you think I’d have a girlfriend? Not very Christian like may I say

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    • he mentioned your ‘lover/cheater boy’ and his girlfriend. I saw no reference to you having a girlfriend.

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    • Businessman Hank Businessman Hank

      How is any of this relevant? Are you here to talk about evolution or have some kind of false moment of glory?

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  • Actually, being AGNOSTIC is a lack of beliefs. Atheism is a rejection of God.
    I can agree with part of what you’re saying but you need to get your facts right bro.

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    • Who are you directing that at? The chick (Geoffrey) above is the one who said it’s a lack of beliefs while George said it’s a rejection. I’m confused because you said ‘bro’.

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      • I was directing it at the “real” Geoffrey – sorry for the confusion

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        • George Langford

          Suppose that you mean me then.
          Rightio, I said Atheist was rejection of beliefs. I didn’t mention Agnostic. Agnostic is having an uncertain belief, perhaps a lack of a firm belief. A fence-sitter of religion. I personally was baptiste, then I questioned the religion for many reasons, baptiste isn’t too strict a religion for me or anything, there’s just a few personal beliefs I hold and I doubt my version of beliefs fit into that of baptiste. So I became Agnostic….after a while I sort of solidified my beliefs (y’know, bit of soul searching and what-not), though they don’t match a religion. So I’m faithful to a non-mainstream religion. It’s slightly complicated though it has firm enough groundings, though I believe if I explained my version of Christianity here, I fear I would be slandered by extremists who believe there can only be one form of Christianity or something of that nature (Which I would find hilarious considering how many variations already exist!). So I feel I have a bit of personal experience on the whole agnostic part.

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          • George Langford

            I would like to further note my usage of the word “beliefs” as opposed to God (the single holy divine), as if you were to reject God, then Hindu, Buddhist, all forms of Paganism and infact everything aside from Christian, Catholic, Jewish and Mormon and a few others well…they’d all be Atheist. As all other religions “Reject God”. I felt it was best to give an explination, even if it wasn’t neeeded.

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  • Hmm, apparently some people missed the key content of:

    “If the concept of “Evil”ution did exist (theoretically)
    Would we not be able to create larger vegetables and animals able to feed more people? It would be violating that of what is fact through Genesis as well as other parts of the bible! ”

    I’ll just leave it you to suss out.

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  • genetically modified organisms, I think are what you’re talking about but that doesn’t have anything to do with evolution. evolution isn’t controlled by what you deem necessary.
    in fact I don’t even see how one could use what you just said as a logical reason to reject evolution as truth.

    on the other hand why are christians so quick to judge atheists and call them “morons”, you believe we’re sgml gods children and created equal, what stuck up ad

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  • all* and ignore everything after gods children, I don’t want to go there anymore.

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  • LOLWhatisthisIdon'teven

    Dog breeding to breed out hip dysplasia, proof of evolution.

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  • evolution is PROVEN. god is not.

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  • Actually genetically modified organisms have everything to do with evolution as the techniques employed are based on the same principles and mechanics. However, that was not my point. Has it not occurred to anyone that they were actually providing evidence of evolution with the comment about larger animals and vegetables? The subtlety is absolutely brilliant. I suggest you peruse this site further for confirmation.

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  • I hope you realize that evolution is both a theory and a fact. Evolution happened; and that is a PROVEN FACT. The overwhelming amount of evidence made it that evolution was changed to a fact. The theory of evolution is the framework that best explains observed changes of species over time and best predicts the new observations that continue to be made in evolutionary biology and related sciences. Are you just filling your head with lies at this point? Scientists who dedicate their lives to the study of evolution are all wrong, and some random guy who read the bible is right? Sorry, but that’s just not true. What do you think of all of the fossil evidence? Scientists have found many different fossils that depict “in-between” stages. We have also found many skulls that are clearly human, yet the structure is different. Do you completely deny the unmistakable evidence for human evolution as well?

    What do you call this?hominids2.jpg

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  • WHAT THE FUCK GOD IS NOT REAL CHRISTFAGS CAN SUCK MY DICK

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  • Are you serious?

    Oh my gosh. I wonder what would happen if you attended one of my Evolution lectures at UNIVERSITY.

    Anyway, thank you for giving me something to laugh at. Well technically I should be thanking my friend for sending me the link to this article, but oh well.

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  • It’s funny because God DID create us in his image. Stupid people seem to think that means physically because they can’t wrap their heads around the abstract.

    God=The Creator
    God made us in his image
    We=Creators

    not so hard now, is it? especially when you consider God doesn’t have a physical form. have we actually seen an avatar of our divine father?

    wow that was more serious than I planned. oh well

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