Get Free Tickets To Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Opening Night Premiere, IMAX 3D
Get Free Tickets to Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2, Tell Us Why You Deserve To Have Two Free Tickets (Or Imax 3d Tickets) in Comments. Only Top 20 Ranked Comments Will Be Eligible to Receive Free Tickets for the Premiere, so you too can see just how disgusting this movie is.
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2Â is an American made movie where yuppie California kids practice voodoo and blood rituals until they reach a rank of Catalyst Demon Enchanter 4, then have make-out sessions with a magician named Dumbledore behind the backs of parents.
What a sad thing to know that Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 is sold out in theaters. I would hope it was because terrified parents stole to movie theaters last night to break and and burn down all the ticket cases and the movie reels, then cast them with holy oil and reburn until nothing but scented ashes were left.
Instead, parents are giving their kids $20 and letting the clock strike Midnight on Thursday, something JRK Tolkien prophesied would happen tonight as a ‘fresh batch’ of innocent children went to see this ‘final’ film of the slasher series.
Harry Potter tells the story of a young wizard who was raised in the homesaxual village of West Hollywood, where knuckleballing a man or a beast was just another Tuesday sight for the residents. Being a boy torn between morality and darkness, Harry Potter one day was crying as his ‘muggle human’ school was teaching them about gayly acts. They were learning about the rectal cavity in school, the magic kingdom of perverted Disneyland happiness for all fairy footed lube tinglers, when suddenly Harry Started crying as he crawled through the duodenum, a gay’s favorite place to have a hamster frolic and lick on its fateful reverse sewer journey of iniquity.
As his tears hit the ground, a magic wormhole appeared and he awoke in the requisite chic and neo-modern cougar skin decorated castle of Voldemoort and Dumbledore, two homosexual wizards who were having a spat with Gandalf the gay. Dumbledore and Voldemort believed they should create a spell that let same-same wizard couples adopt children, Gandalf, an elder gay, was dismayed and disgusted with the thought of raising children and used his great powers to block legislation for gay marriage in the magic capital of Hogsmeade, a very faggy version of DC, as if the hosts from Queer Eye were somehow teleported there, given acid and allowed to have confusing orgies of bent steel and magic tinkerings with architechs and barrel chested construction workers.
Now as they were having a great match of snarky homosexual wits and fisticuffs, a great explosion brought the real boy Harry to gates of Hogsmeade, which is also a ‘haunting’ ground for fresh meat college freshman wizards. The elders take them into Meade halls then throw a spiked viking party in their sin hall when they get them drunk enough, and this scene plays out in the movie again and again.
Never before seeing a ‘muggle’ boy, the gays all wildly thrashed about and shrieked with Japanese fan girl excitement as they tried to get but a sniff and touch of Harry Potter’s flesh.
Your children can probably tell you the rest of the story, but will hide the gory details. They will tell you about Ron and Hermione Watson (Emma Stewart), but will they tell you about the love triangle between these three and how Dumbledore abducted each one with magic snakes that ‘petrify’ them in the highest moments of ecstasy. I think we all know what type of ‘snake’ does that and it is not the jungle spitting variety.
Will they tell you that Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 has a scene where Harry Potter has relations with a horse?
In this screen shot from the movie, you can see a have edited out Harry Potter’s twiddle rompus so our news organization doesn’t help Satan mount your little ones with images of sin, but you can see why all parents must be shocked and angered about this movie.
Liberals will say Harry Potter is a cultural experience for your children, and sure, if you would trust your child to boarde a viking ship where magical homosexual valkyrie unicorns twinkle star explosions of elder wizard wand saunce into their sewer ports in between games of Quiddich and butter bean meade keg stands, fine, that’s just fine. But when your child leaves the Harry Potter premiere diseased and pregnant, under a witch’s spell of bad grades and college dropout this semester, you have no one to blame but yourself.
For this reason, I have, obtained, several tickets to give to parent/child pairings who want to see this movie. Whichever parents in the comments appear most disgusted and want to get two free tickets (to either normal or Imax) I will esend two ticket for tonight’s hard to get to premiere. You can go see this movie with your child, see all these things are true and as the movie plays, tell everyone it’s all actresses and a Hollywood scheme to get everyone to vote for gay marriage, when it’s the very thing destroying our nation.
So if you’re digusted, let’s hear it and why you want to see this filth and how you will warn everyone about why we must ban any future works by the dangerous spellwriter, Mr. JRK Tolkien.
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Abe
If you don't like what you just read here you can just get out of my country. Now how about that smart-alack.
Follow me on twitters. Poke me as your New Friend on Facebook!!
2:26 pm
I would like 2 tickets to the premiere because if I hold the tickets, then that would keep out some of the homosexual “sorcerers stone” kids from further filling their brains with devil black magic worhsiping material. please help me save them Christwire. Amen.
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2:29 pm
My partner (in CHRIST!) and I NEED to be there tonight so that right before the movie starts I can stand up in front of those salivating sin-monkeys and explain to each and every one of those them exactly why they deserve to spend eternity in hell for supporting such homogay trash. I am then going to ask, with Jesus at my side, that everyone in the theater immediately leave (except my partner and I) so I can keep track of all the offensive content in peace. It is of vital import that I know the exact nature of the evil behind this filth so that the next day, when we’re protesting outside of Comic-Con (don’t even get me started on those jackals) wearing our sandwich-boards and ringing our bells our divine warnings and messages truth are 100% accurate. So send us to Harry Potter IMAX 3D and help me save these poor wretched souls from themselves. I am offering myself up as a lamb, fully prepared to take a major hit from Satan (aka Hollywood) for the greater good. Amen.
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11:44 pm
sorcery is more real than christianity…….. and its 100% fake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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2:33 pm
Brother you are speaking with the fire of the lord here today!
I am not interested in tickets as I am too old to care about a homosexual boy and his dalliances with man and beast. I took the grand kids to see Transgenders 3:butt side of the moon. That was enough Hollyweird for me for a while.
I am afraid at my age never knowing when the end will come, I try to keep my soul secure and safe as I never know when the moment will come when I am called to heaven. I do not wish to go to meet Jesus knowing that he took me at a Hairy Pooper movie.
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2:54 pm
“I am not interested in tickets as I am too old to care about a homosexual boy and his dalliances with man and beast. ”
So then you can see Harry Potter because NONE OF THIS SHIT HAPPENS AT ALL. There’s literally ONE thing that Abe got right, and that was the names of three characters; everything else was so far out, that it’s maddening to know that people think that’s HONESTLY what the series is about.
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6:01 pm
I see you got a stick wedged in your sodomy hole again.
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10:59 am
It’s better than a bible, which you all seem to have in there.
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2:43 pm
(i am having my young grandson put the words into this box for me). just found out about this whole internet thing, and i keep seeing these devil news clips on the electronic computer screen. i was telling my grandson that the devil must have come up with this contraption to spread his evil and dark words. however i was very glad to hear that there was a news page called “cristwire” “t” representing the cross… amen. i thought that was very clever. so i saw something about this moving screen performance on devils and i thought to myself… which I do a lot these days. “i should go view this devil moving screen performance and understand what these devils are up to in hopes on protecting the innocence and souls of my 56 grandchildren”. i do not wish to give these blasphemous movie folks a dime of my hard earned retirement money. so i pray that since you “christwire” people are obviously technologically advanced christians whom are college graduates and have lots of money would understand my position. please see it in your hearts to allow me and my 98 year old wife whom i have been happily married to sin-free, to see your production of this evil moving screen performance. – retired reverend gregory gressett
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2:45 pm
I would like to go to yell at all the sinful parents who take their children to liberal films at midnight the most sinful of all hours and slap them. It is even more proof that Europeans are the most sinful and beastly of all countries besides the one where all the blacks live. They may not have invented Aids but they sure do like to spread it around like demon wildfire. My son came home from school and wanted to put “crepe paper” up in his bedroom because they put them up in school. I wrote a note to his teacher telling her in America we call them streamers and she should remember that Freedom Fries are a way of life. She is 30 and unmarried so she is obviously a lesbian or a sinful liberal who sleeps with people outside of her race. Everyone knows black people will not marry you but get you pregnant and leave. They want to make our country one race and they will rape and murder our light skinned holy children like the British have been doing for decades. This is why princess Diana died. She was a whore and left her husband only to wear fancy dresses and try to seduce John Travolta The British are evil and someone needs to picket the film. They tell our children not to brush their teeth and to wear bikinis and have sex with gays and get molested. We should bomb the entire continent.
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3:29 pm
I’m happy to report that 6 municipalities and 4 counties have agreed to ban the viewing of this movie. This was short of our goals, but any bit helps. Thanks chrisTwire readers. Ad revenue from your visits helped this cause.
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6:05 pm
praise click
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3:37 pm
I had planned on seeing this movie to expose the British hatred of America’s powerful corporations. The metaphor is clear. Harry Potter, a mild-mannered boy with no special skills but the power of “love,” (an obvious appeal to the personalized customer service you get from small, independent businesses) attempts to take on the less-than-subtly named Lord Walmart. Meanwhile, the movie emphasizes the power of “teamwork,” as Harry rarely leaves the side of his gay lover, Ron, and his transsexual drag queen ex-boyfriend Hermione (this explains the wretched name); this is an obvious appeal to Communism. Lord Walmart, meanwhile, has no friends and fails because he doesn’t have love. Everybody knows that in a capitalist system you succeed by trusting nobody but yourself. It is clear that England is a Godless nation that has abandoned the notion of hard work and personal success, and it doesn’t help that they are championing the cause of witchcraft either. This movie is the best chance at investigative journalism I’ve had in a while.
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6:06 pm
I am glad that my preaching about the sins of the british are reaching the ears of good christian folk.
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3:51 pm
I hope this kills all you fuckers.
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3:54 pm
Fucking balls. This site has terrible image capabilities. Fuck you all and go to Hell.
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6:07 pm
condemnation click
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11:40 am
Looks like Suzie’s run out of shit to say.
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1:11 pm
lanquage claire!!!
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3:53 pm
I wanna see it of course, but I’m not gonna put the movie down just so I could possibly get some free tickets from you, I may not get to see it opening weekend, but I will get to see it before it leaves theaters
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6:07 pm
way to stand up for your evil sinful pagan principals.
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6:08 pm
praise click for principles…condemn for bad principals
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6:09 pm
Why do you hate me so much?
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6:33 pm
I DON’T hate you…well I did when you first joined, but then I prayed on it and Jesus told me to love my neighbors. I then explained to him that you were not my neighbor but he was not convinced.
I remind you that I sent you a friend invite and a message on facebook. But you declined both. Who hates who now?
I was paying you a compliment. I told you that I respected you sticking to your principals, even though they are wrong. I even praise clicked you so you can go see the silly little movie.
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6:36 pm
Well I actually didn’t decline you, it disappeared from my list
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6:43 pm
Because you denied me like Peter denied christ!
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6:47 pm
I did not decline you! I haven’t denied any one all the requests from here are still sitting in my request box
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6:53 pm
well why don’t you accept them? Why are you allowing them to sit there and languish? it is because YOU HATE US!!!
admit it.
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6:58 pm
Do you really want to see all the “sinful” things I post?
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7:06 pm
Wait, holy shit. Shannon, are you in on the joke? Are you part of it? You and L.N? If that were true, this would be the most ingenious website to ever have existed.
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7:12 pm
Some days I wonder if they sucked me in like that, but no I just like to come and argue, I know it’s pointless because that’s what they want, but it gives me amusement for the day
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9:46 pm
There you go again denying things. Shannonon the denier is your new name. Plausible denyability.
Shannon you would be surprised how many homogays and atheists are my friends on facebook. They know that as a christian I care for them and want them to know the love of the lord.So that they can experience heaven as I soon will.
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9:48 pm
NATHAN, language please! Don’t make me tell you again…do you need one of my adult diapers?
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9:56 pm
Susan, I do not lie. Period. I hate liars think they are useless people.
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10:02 pm
Claire Lies.
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10:38 pm
I understand sister Susan. Shannon makes it difficult for herself to be accepted into society with her wanton Pagan rituals and constant defiling of the One Truth. Maybe this image of her will give you an idea of why spiritual trauma is destined to haunt her for eternity. Look upon it and try and find compassion in your heart for a lost soul that will never see the light.
http://i1141.photobucket.com/albums/n597/FriarDick/SEP-1.jpg[/IMG][/img]
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10:43 pm
This infernal intraweb is tricky for an old man to traverse. I will attempt to show the image of the evil Shannon once more.
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10:45 pm
Um none of that is true, and there is no image there
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10:50 pm
I fear the heathen wench is casting a spell to prevent the display of her image. my resolve is strong and I shall persist!
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10:55 pm
A quick song of praise unto The Lord should provide me with an answer to my technical conundrum.
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10:57 pm
Wrong friar dick, I haven’t cast a spell in about a month
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3:25 am
So you cast your spells according to your menstrual cycle? sickening pagan.
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4:05 am
I weep for the lost pegan whorelots among us in that they will one day see Chris†in the actions of the righteous and repent from the sins of whorelotry and idol worship and avoid the lake of fire for which they are currently on a bobsled heading unto.
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11:42 am
And what exactly do I lie about, August?
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1:15 pm
Not even close Susan, just haven’t felt the need for one, it’s kinda one of those things if you truly can’t feel it, it won’t work right or the outcome may not be what you have wanted
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4:00 pm
Let’s try this again.
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4:02 pm
I hope this kills all you fucking bitches.
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6:10 pm
condemnation click for posting obscene pictures of vagina faced monsters. Pornography will not be allowed here.
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1:32 pm
Is that what your vagina looks like? Guess you’ve had one too many kids, huh?
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4:10 pm
herp derp tickets
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4:51 pm
I need 2 tickets just so I can EAT THEM right in front of the Satanic homogay fans who actually support this filth. I caught a glimpse of Hermione’s “dirty-pillows” in a scene from the last one and I almost vomited. Just when you think Hollywood can’t sink any lower…kiddie-porn mixed with witchcraft. Absolutely disgusting!
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6:11 pm
praise click to ticket munchers
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1:22 pm
So who won?
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1:37 pm
When it comes to these movies, everyone loses.
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11:04 am
Lame way to end a non-excising contents =P
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11:08 am
Ooow, and FYI the images that comes with the ‘article’ is from a play Daniel Radcliffe was in over four years ago. But that’s always the thing with bible-humpers, they live years in the past.
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8:23 am
I am like reading these and my eyes are like watering with like i dunno sadness?? You people are pretty dumb (no offense) but, these are good books and movies.
There are no drugs, no one gets drunk in the books, that good.
There is no sex at all in the books.
Hardly any swearing.
It teaches about friendship, how Ron and Hermione say with Harry.
And belive it or not, I’m 13 years old and fairly smart if I do say so myself, and this guy knows nothing about the series.
My mom isn’t even a Harry Potter fan, but when she read these articles, she was disgusted.
Good day to you.
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9:32 pm
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