• Hidden Homosexuality in Comics: Part 4

    July 10, 2011 11:21 am 13 comments
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  • After my alarming Superhero Comics Cause College Girls to Take Raunchy Facebook Photos series, thousands of letters and emails from concerned parents and irate comic book addicts flooded in from around the globe.  Parents were shocked to learn such saucy marinades were peppering the souls of their children with savorings of groin lust and musty sweat lubed fornication, the rubbings sounds of the thighs making Satan’s chops masticate and water with a hungering desire for innocence.

    And friends, that’s what comics are all about: Satanic groin-clasping costumes of impossible tightness, temptation and saucy raunchiness.  Acclaimed industry leader Valiant Comics and its two subsidiary lapdogs DC Comics and Marvel Comics have been and always will be illustrious morsels of pixelated perversions.  These little comic eye candies are just like getting a bag full of Bubble Yum on Halloween from a short skirted temptress on Halloween.  Rapping upon her door in the dead of night, your heart pounds with excitement when she invites you in to take a taste and chew from her goody sack, but alas, you soon find the gummy sweet scents and tantalizing wrappers are but a ploy designed to quickly fill your mouth with an all-too-familiar taste of stiff, stale disappointment and a secretly costumed transgendered homosexual’s phallic release.

    Just like the Preying Halloween gays of parental lore, comic books are always looking for ways to gently play the pied piper’s whistle on a moonlit night, to get them behind a bush and do all types of horrible things to their mind and body, in costumed secret.  Comics costume themselves  with the name ‘comic’, so you will think these books are nothing but fun and games for all to enjoy.  But listen to the words of your forefathers, parents.  Comics are an evil recruitment tool of the gay and sadomasochist community who desperately want to recruit and exploit the virgin bottomed innocence of your sons and even daughters.  It makes no difference, as long as an anal orifice remains untouched, DC and Marvel are making designs to colonize it with the flags of costumed cosplay and nipple ring sidekick erotica.

    Today we look at some ancient ‘Silver-Aged’ comics to understand just how long these comic companies have tried to pull a wool over your eye, to spread a gay agenda and a wider positioned liberal socialist agenda into your child’s mind, right even in the safety of your own home.

    The Barrel Bottomed Nights of Gotham:  Bold Batman #54

    In this crossover comic from 1974, we see Superman’s bald-headed nemesis Lex Luthor is keen on taking out the lesser heroes, so Superman will not have any help in an upcoming battle on the dramatically anti-Christian Superman:  A New Messiah that debuted in 1975.

    As Lex Luthor theatrically lifts his left hand in a penis-measuring hand configuration, he continues his exuding threat into the romantic lives and very sexuality of the subdued heroes.

    Lex bellows, “Not only are YOU doomed — but so is everyone else you touched!”

    Immediately, a reasonably chaste man’s moral fiber would be torn as thoughts of Lex Luthor forcing his wife to saturate his villainously erect Satanic scepter with the moist drizzling of unwilling adultery, propagated by Lex’s feverous poundings into her baby spot as she cried and thought of the dead costumed body of her husband would be quite tormenting.  We see The Green Lantern, the Flash and Captain Hotpants are all concerned about their wives and though they all likely have liberal comics in their own right, at least they aren’t gay.

    But the Batman.

    For those who are not in the know, Batman is the confusing, late-night hour musings of a serial erotica writer with a penchant for forcing young twenty year old boys wear used hooker’s stocking panties.  Dressed in silk-lined Egyptian knits, The Batman steals into the dead of night to become drenched in the deepest sweats of exhaustion while his young, tight abbed pal Robin seduces enemies with feints and near-miss dodges, the activities of which leave him heaving in a costumed, bloody mess, in greatly deep need of being emancipated from a psychotic killer’s death trap by his decades old guarantor, The Batman.

    Batman relishes in this cat-and-mouse game of psychological manipulation, making Robin whet himself with syncopal anticipation of being killed, high on adrenaline and fear, to only be violated not by the Joker’s swinging Ace of Machete or the Penguin’s Umbrella Popper, but instead by the firm, tough hands of Batman caressing his thighs as his back parts are parted in the Batcave, to spread ointments and lube to sooth the burns obtained in the groggy memories of late night knife play, cocaine whippits and cheap whiskey with a handcuffed interlude.  This is the plot of nearly every Batman comic and it shows a blatant homosexual perversion.

    Look at Batman’s response to Lex Luthor’s threat:  “Robin– what have I done to you?”  It is a latent cry from Batman’s inner-child, the innocent boy who saw his parents shot down and now yearns to be submerged in the youthful innocent again, which he can only figure to do vis-a-vis the ample backside of his 20-year-old ‘sidekick’, Robin.  How terrifying and yet tragically sad.

    Cheesesteak Jimmy, the Drag Queen of Metropolis:  The Amazing Escapades of Superman #23

    A little known fact is that the late glamhair rocker Freddie Mercury was a writer for DC Comics.  Going by the name “Bendis”, a name now assumed by another writer calling himself Bryan Bendis, Freddy Mercury enticed the homosexual comic communities of Valiant, DC and Marvel with his new suggestively ‘bent’ take on comics.

    No longer satisfied with only the main characters having homosexual intents and motif, Mercury desired to create an archetype for homosexual support characters.  In shows today like “The Office”, men like David Spade play the flimsy, ironic and sarcastic secretary who makes punchy retorts in between sips of a frappuccino and not doing productive work.  This character type is the work of Mercury’s new character, a young flamboyant red-headed boy named Jimmy Olsen, the archetype for modern gays in Hollywood sitcoms.

    Perhaps best captured in essence by Neil Patrick Harris on How I Met Your Mother, this Mercurian gay is a blender.  It shocks and excites the crowd by seamlessly slipping in between male and female actions.  Look at how “Jimmy’s” rampaging milkjuggle causes a group of zoot-suited spinsters to try to make cat-calls and 70’s era pickup lines.  It is the dream of every gay, to dress like a woman and seduce men into a shameful brown-streaked surprise when the covers of carnality are removed for cleansing.

    How can a book that’s supposed to be about joy, innocence and heroes for children allow a hooker’s manifesto to manifest within its pages?  Is there really anything moral about teaching young Johhny how to lace up his knit-stockings and work his stuff on the corner, so hairy chested men and greased down guaps can bend you over a car hood, flush the engine with a gonad oil spill and then thank your backside mechanic with a $10 tip for helping them unclog their front pipes?  Most likely not.

    These comic books are teaching boys how to be secret homosexual hookers.  Check your son’s undergarments for signs of fecal streaking or lipstick mishandling if he is a comic fan.  These mindtricks are very strong and they can seduce.

    Batman and Robin, Secret Detectives #43:  An Explosive Escapade

    In this painful image, Batman grimaces in ecstatic glory as he has sensually released a cropdusting surprise of drenched humiliation and submission upon Robin’s decidely repulsed countenance.  But even after this act of disrespect, Robin will return to the Batcave with Batman.  In psychological terms, this act is called ‘aggressive conditioning.’

    Aggressive conditioning is the same technique used by many pet owners, worldwide, to force their pets to do things that fly against their will and natural order.  It is not natural for a dog to withstand the urge to defecate and urinate when desire hits, yet, through firm scolding and training, an owner can train a dog to not release foul functions within the home.

    Always keen into animal behavior, homosexuals apply this technique to their captured victims.  Here, we see Batman has bagged himself a twenty-year-old, a young man who would rather be in college and courting women of great class and grace, so as to perhaps one day marry and have children. Instead, Batman has trapped this child in an endless cycle of dressing in easy-to-clean Nylons, so the humiliating scents of anal play and tears from the day before came be washed away, for a flowery, fresh Snuggle dryer sheeted scent to begin a new night of leather whip fights and torture devices, which give way to the painful scene us mature audiences understand to be happening in the comic.

    It is shocking that this image is branded in the minds of millions of adults, all obtained because their parents — and perhaps even your parents — refused to believe this stuff is happening in books marketed for our innocent children.

    Best Buddies Adventures #14:  Waterholing Fun with Old Men (Worlds’ Finest Summer Edition)

    Loin clothes casually thrown over the No Swimming sign, a group of able bodied Swiss freshman  fraternity boys jump into a pool for an innocent summer’s romp.  Classes have just released and they want a cleansed feeling for summer.  But upon the pool, steal the heroes Batman and Superman, along with their whipping boy Robin.

    Politically naive, Robin has no idea that he is an instrument of seduction and treason unto the unsuspecting morality of the boys in the pool.  They think the heroes are there to ensure the water is a safe temperature and the No Swimming sign could be disregarded, by using X-rated vision, Superman’s cheeks visibly blush the Red of an exploding Kryptonian Sun, a phrase with great meaning because only several pages later, underneath the water is another exploding Kryptonian Son.

    To describe what happens to this group of summer fraternity boys in that summer of innocence, below the context, is just too graphic to engage upon in a proper news organization such as ours.  But the pages are shocking.  Fathers would hold their sons tight, kissing them on the cheek and weeping for the horror of what happens under that water.  Mothers would faint if we even explored the next captioned line from Batman, the very first comment on the first horrifying and lustful page of this dripping wet tale of heat exhaustion, unconventional summer slushes of writhing pool boys in a boiling pot heated by supernatural eyes that spew egregreious fires as the solar-powered mangod’s body climaxes and yells in an excited frenzy that can be heard even unto the most extant village of the Northern hemisphere, we find death, a cover-up and innocence loss.  Even Batman was shocked and afraid by the end of this comic.

    Comic books are a great danger to society.  You read these lines time and again and after this expose, the repeated truth and themes must become more known to you.  Shield your children from these comics and the doubly dangerous eye-candy movies that promise superhero values and family fun, for underneath, an emergent danger always waits like a silent snake, ready to bite and spew poisons within the innocent body of your children.

    Until next time, dear readers and parents, remain chaste and never cease to unite, and let these evil comic book doers, know they cannot hide nor win against morality’s light.


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    About The Author
    Thad Connely The gentleman of choice, Thad Connely brings experience of two familial generations of news coverage and hard biting reports.

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