Human Foot and Angelina JolieTop Hollywood’s Highest Paid Actress List at $30 Million

Man’s View with Frank “Moose” Grottman: Foot Faced Actresses

 A Human Foot and stunningly attractive actress top Hollywood’s female fortune list this year, with both actresses rolling in over $30 million from movie roles in the last year.

The human foot, who also masquerades under the guise Sarah Jessica Parker, is an annoying creature who is responsible for the series “Sex and the City”.  The series teachers your wife or girlfriend how to have an affair behind your back and not feel guilty about it.  If your girlfriend is a fan or has a box set, go get checked for the clap and dump her.  You may want to get checked for athlete’s foot too for good measure.

This is all saying that Sarah Jessica Parker is not that attractive.  Angelina Jolie is a stiff, wooden actress.  Granted.  But really, find a guy who would not want the word ‘stiff’ coming up if Angelina wanted him, and you’ve found yourself a bona fide bottom boy.  That is to say, only a gay would not wrack Angelina’s brains out.

Face it.  You’re no Brad Pitt and we see Angelina is so hot and good in bed, she tamed Brad Pitt.  Brad Pitt is a man who is Satan blessed or God blessed, depending on how you view things, and could pull any woman he wants.  Don’t think your wife is off the list, she’s already watched Sex and the City at least once.  She’d cheat on you and feel good, because a foot told her it was okay.

Brad Pitt is now raising a mini-African village with a cameo appearance by a few Ho Chi Minh’s.  Kids are always crawling all over Pitt in any picture you see, and it is because he’s whipped by Angelina’s slapper.

Whatever the case, there are all sorts of double standards in this Hollywood story. I don’t really give a crap about how much Angelina and Footface Capone are making with their bootleg acting skills. They are both pretty horrible. Again, I am a Christian, married man and I would take a good, long hard look and want to dive so deep in the warming pools of Angelina’s Jolie. You know you would too and do not forget, lying is a sin. The first step is confession.

But how is it that women can have television series after television series about how cool and funny it is to honestly cheat on us behind our back. It’s already bad enough women are weak in the flesh and cannot be trusted.

Men of old had to worry about their wives and the milkboys, because you know if your woman said, “I’d let him put his shoes under my bed”, she banged him when you were throwing up a new damn or building project. Longer hours and work give women more time to play.

Today, it’s twice as work. We have these pea-brained wives watching Desperate Housewives, Cheating Wives of Atlanta, Casey Anthony Kills Her Kid and So Can You and whatever the hell else is on daytime television. These women then go on Facebook where unemployed, unworking and free time having sots they know from high school still want to take a dive in them, and they go for it. It’s in media, so it must be great. And we know none the beter.

Don’t try to act like this is not true. Over 50% of marriages lead to divorce and it’s Footface homewreckers like Sarah Jessica Parker and Angelina, getting paid by the millions, who are to blame. Just ask Jennifer Aniston.

I posit this. Television shows should come with personalized home ratings. The man of the house gets to rate every show on the tube. All those shows would be labeled I for I Will Godtap You in the Face So Hard, You Will Land in the Welfare Line if You Watch These Shows and Have a Facebook Adultery Affair on Me. That is to say, men, these shows are dangerous and if you even suspect your wife is thinking about whoring, give her a little facial reminder that she better not betray the 20-years of your life you sacrificed for her and how many times you turned down Angelina calibre hotties.