July 5 National Go Braless Day – Is this a Mormon Plot?
I find the July 5th National Braless promotion on Facebook day a little tedious. I see no reason to tumble to Hades just because some lesbitarian group wants me to toss away my bra. I do the women’s walk for cancer. I get squashed in the boob crusher on a regular mammogram schedule. Why should I bother with this debasement of my bosom? I have some very good reasons for declining this offer.
I haven’t always liked having breasts.
Like most women I’ve worn a bra, or more formally a brassiere, since budding during puberty. The obligatory trip to the department store to select the first bra with Mother was a disaster. The clerk had a certain look and seemed a bit fidgety.
While Mother was finding a few more selections to try on, I waited quietly in the dressing room thinking how awkward and uncomfortable bras were to wear. Suddenly, the door swung open. The clerk, an arm’s reach away, bluntly asked if I was “done”. I stood there motionless, eleven years old, topless, the sound of “done” hanging in the air like a far off gong. Beside the clerk were another customer and two boys. For a moment, the space seemed to dip and swell. The boys burst into laughter while tears started to burn down my cheeks. I felt a hum in my lower lip accelerating to a full quiver.
My mother, like many moms, has the ability to change the temperature of a room with her eyes. She appeared like a summer storm, eyes firing black lightning bolts. The clerk, customer and the two boys disappeared like ghosts. “We’re leaving” Mom said as she hugged me tightly. Unfortunately, this was only the beginning of a lifetime of breast flashing.
As I developed, that initial shock wore off and I became used to having a chest. Life is great when you’re 16. Everything is possible. Nothing is out of reach. It was 1980.
My best friend Naomi and I were long time church friends. Our goal that summer was to engage in championship solar powered topless tanning sessions to achieve what we called “chocolate boobs”. We wanted a deep rich tan that defied our pale faced Appalachian heritage.
While most kids today spray orange tan or use a SPF 70 lotion, we used the standard of the day – baby oil or Crisco straight from the can. Baby oil is slippery. You need someone to help put it on all over. Naomi and I would spend some time getting the oil evenly distributed over our nearly nude bodies, making sure every inch was slick and glistening. We would usually do this in a secluded sunny glade up the hollow where Naomi lived. Sometimes we would climb up on the newly tinned roof out building for its extra reflective properties, but only on cloudy days.
One particularly hot day, we decided to tan in Naomi’s yard. With the heat, the hose and sprinkler became necessary for cooling our bodies. Her family was gone for the day. It was secluded. We couldn’t be seen by the few passing cars. If someone came up the drive, we would have plenty of time to slip on a cover up. We had massaged Crisco all over our lithe bodies. It all seemed so perfect.
We set up a boombox with one of our favorite cassettes from church camp. We spread out our blankets and settled into the warming rays. We talked about the husbands we would meet at college and what kind of class ring we wanted.
As the Crisco began to warm, the faint smell of French fries would warn us it was time to turn. I had fallen half asleep when I thought I heard a voice telling me it was time to cool in the sprinkler. I did a quick push up off the blanket and suddenly was standing, mostly naked, in front of two young men dressed in short sleeved white business shirts, black slacks, wearing backpacks and holding bikes. They were Mormons. They were Mormons with very surprised eyes.
The pain and humiliation of the first bra dressing room began to flood back to me. The air seemed too thin to breathe. I remembered the look in my Mother’s eyes. The power of it was calming.
I slowly pulled my shoulders back, flexing my neck and met their gaze with my eyes and the apricot stare of my breasts. “You. Are. Leaving. Now.” I felt all the humiliation and insecurity push away toward the quickly retreating men. I’ve never seen Mormons move so quickly or without their usual Mormon clumsiness.
Naomi was standing, with her tee shirt on. Blessed with light sleep, she hadn’t exposed herself. She had this look on her face I hadn’t seen before. “That” she stammered “wahs, was, was your boobs have super powers to scare Mormons!” We stood there for a millisecond before collapsing with laughter.
Over the years, Naomi and I would go on with life. College and marriage and careers and babies seemed to fade the glamorous appeal of our topless sunbathing escapades. Naomi and I had infrequent opportunities to visit, but when we did we always seemed to laugh a lot until that call. The one call you never want to be a part of with your dearest friend. The friend that knows how to make a drink shoot out of your nose is sick, sick with breast cancer. It just seemed a disingenuous betrayal of her body.
We stayed up all night before she left for the hospital. We laughed about the Mormons and a hundred other funny moments. We prayed. We drove down to the river in our pajamas and flashed our breasts at the man in the moon. As daughters of eve, we knew we were flirting with destruction. You can chase off Mormons, but you can’t chase off breast cancer by baring your chest.
Months of slowly progressing weakness, hospitals and indignity taxed her body and spirit. An ever thickening pale toothed shadow chased her. The disease played with her. Like a guileless monster, it ate with gluttony expecting the buffet to be endless. It felt no shame; it left no tip.
Since Naomi passed, I’ve become a born again evangelical Christian. I’m not proud of my protestant breast flashing days. I tell you this as witnessing to the power of a living loving God: I believe this whole National Go Braless Day is a scam to see jiggling breasts.
I’ve scoured the internet for information on going braless for one day and reduced cancer rates. I can not find one shred of verifiable information to support this. This group isn’t raising money for Cancer research or promoting a message other than convincing women to go without a bra. This is just another indignity piled upon many meant to crush and obscure the struggles of women dealing with breast cancer.
If this was started by a couple of Mormons, beware. I have both sets of eyes on you.
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=101134023311845Journalist, Homemaker = Value of Custom Field
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Blanche Beecham
"Blanche Beecham lends a soft, learned hand to the fourth estate with incite-full investigations on diverse topics such as Politics, Love, and Lifestyle. Her many years experience as a wife, mother, ladies book club president and financial auditor make her well suited to ferreting out the truth and giving it a sound shake." - Rev. Jackson Lee Whitebelley, Publisher and Editor of "The Incubator" - Follow me on Twitter! @BLANCHEBEECHAM
10:50 am
No, not Mormons, Rather All high school girls who are up for it. And Well Any woman who wants to, it kinda like kick a Jew day or jump a christian day, Facebook posts it up and we all wanna do it! Plus come on fellas who doesn’t want to see some love humps here and there i mean really, you’ve been with the same woman for how long?
Wouldn’t u like some eye candy? Hers sag like two towels on a rack, but the girl in the last picture has a nice plump round one, and she is very beautiful.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
7
9:36 am
WoW Alison, you’re so smart. Kidding, you are stupid since you haven’t understood that this is a troll site yet. This is a filthy troll site of lies to make people think christians are stupid, and to stay away from christianity. Anyone who still doesn’t understand that this is a troll site after reading like 2-3 articles, depending on which you read, are just stupid.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
12:55 pm
wow, this was really hot.Thanks for it.
Praise or Condemn:
4 
1
2:11 pm
Blanche, have you ever been to Mardi Gras?
Praise or Condemn:
3 
1
6:39 pm
I’m afraid I would clear the block! For someone with the great power, I must use it wisely.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
9:43 pm
You’re right. I doubled back when I read the 4th paragraph.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
3:37 pm
When you get to my age you need a bra to keep them off the floor
Praise or Condemn:
3 
2
5:39 pm
I hope you know that I masturbated quiet fruitfully to the vivid images that you depicted in your story. Lithe, oiled bodies indeed!
If this is what Christians do all day, I think I want to convert!
Praise or Condemn:
4 
0
1:05 am
…not a laughing matter somepeople are scarred for life by events like this
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
5:48 pm
I always love reading personal stories in journalism and yours is a powerful one Blanche. “My mother, like many moms, has the ability to change the temperature of a room with her eyes.” Yes! I know that feeling!
In any event, this whole bra-less trend is pretty grotesque is you ask me. Sounds like another thing the hippies have introduced to American culture. Who needs to see all that flopping around anyhow? It’s only the most debased of exhibitionists who need to show off like this. Maybe they’re just desperate to attract a man.
Praise or Condemn:
4 
3
6:08 pm
I think you’re just jealous that they can attract men and you can’t.
Don’t worry, the perfect guy is out there for you somewhere.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
1
6:19 pm
Thanks Stephenson. I think my suspicions regarding this Facebook group are founded.
You can’t scare away something like breast cancer with a braless day.
If we could cure cancer by breast flashing it would have already be cured.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
1
6:26 pm
What you can do with flashing is help guys to more efficiently masturbate. A worthy cause if I ever saw one.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
10:45 pm
we all slip up from time to time but we don’t need women to help us get to hell in a bucket any quicker
Praise or Condemn:
0 
2
8:07 am
Thanks again, Mr. Billings, for yet another gleaming ray of insight into the insidious agenda of the femi-nasties and their hirsute cohorts, the she-wooks. Your comments on Ms. Beecham’s article (and her article itself) have been taken to heart.
I, too, have been visually assaulted by unclothed, fleshy milk-bags since I can remember, and I do now seek forgiveness for any pangs of perversion that may have permeated my thoughts during those moments.
Your student,
didi
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
4:09 pm
Well I didn’t write the article, but I appreciate your support. And I’m sure Blanche does as well!!!!
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
11:24 am
Why is it that the fattest of men, with the biggest, saggiest man-boobs, are allowed to go around topless outside but not women?
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
4:10 pm
That wasn’t very nice, Claire.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
4:55 pm
You hurt Billings? No one cares.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
10:44 pm
No, what’s not nice is having to see obese men whose tits are bigger than those of the average woman parading around topless at the beach when it’s illegal for women to do the same. Talk about your double standard.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
1:08 am
if scientists looking for the cure had more funds we may have already gotten a cure and besides watching a girl with out a bra would be like watching furry hentai in public
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
7:18 pm
As a mormon I can tell you that breasts are most frightening. I remember the first time I had relations with my first wife. I was 21 and she was 16, we had just married. We started having relations with the lights on. When she bared her breasts I am afraid that I threw up.
But we continued as it was our duty to build the mormon army…uh, church. After we finished having relations I looked down at all the blood from her burst hymen and I threw up again. Trying to remove myself from the situation I slipped in the blood and vomit and accidentally anally penetrated her. It felt strangely reassuring yet wrong at the same time.
I now have 4 wifes and many children, at last count it was 27. Or was it 28? 29? It doesn’t matter. What I will say is that Dear Sister Blanche your story has so exillerated to me that I am going to go bang my wives tonight and soon it will be well over 40 at the Neemoy compound!
Praise or Condemn:
5 
1
8:31 am
Mr. Neemoy,
I am pleased to learn that you can admit to the degenerate powers of the unclothed female breast despite your wayward Mormon philosophies.
I am concerned, however, for your weak stomach. I understand that your confrontation with unpleasant female bodily fluids and the resulting act of sexual abomination must have been terribly unpleasant. However, if one hopes to lead a life which extolls the virtues of conservatism, one must retain ones dinner.
May I be so bold as to offer this suggestion: Mutual Pre-Coital Prayer. I must claim ignorance of your barbaristic CoLDS rituals, but if you and your wife can find a moment to get on your knees before she gets on her back, I am sure that our good Lord will find a way to bless you with vomit-free intercourse.
Yours,
didi
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
4:51 pm
Dear Dido,
Loved your last album. I now am very much in control of keeping my dinner, my balance (in bed) and of my wives. Most of my wives are experts at praying to the almighty on their knees.
I do not know what you mean by ” barbaristic CoLDS rituals” as we prefer not to conduct rituals while we have colds.
I have noticed in your videos that you are very attractive. I imagine you would make a great wife, I can put your wide child bearing hips to use over here. Anytime you would like to learn more about mormonism I would be more than hapy to introduce you to the all mighty!
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
10:34 pm
Dear Leonard Matlin,
Thanks for your kind words, and thanks for reminding me that I even HAD a “last album”!!
It is nice to know that someone of your expertise in the areas of film, television, and polygamy saw something of value in my video.
I am afraid that I’ll have to decline your (very!) generous offer to teach me of your CoLDS rites and ways of pederasty, as I am hopelessly addiceted to caffeine. And the one true Lord. Who doesn’t have a Utah bumper sticker on his heavenly Winnebago.
Yours,
didi
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
9:07 pm
Good job, Blanche! It’s great to find a website where people still uphold traditional morality, including a proper concern for female sexuality.
Even though I’m an agnostic, I still appreciate the values instilled in me by my Christian upbringing. I don’t think I’d be the person I am today without them.
So let’s just hope this website leads to way for a society free of Muslims, homosexuals, liberals, and atheists. (Jews are okay in my books.)
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
10:39 pm
this was uncalledfor. i thought this was going to be a good article but it turned out to be soft core porno
Praise or Condemn:
0 
2
8:47 am
Dear Good Christian,
I am saddened to hear that youfelt Ms. Beecham’s article was uncalledfor. Ifelt that it was absolutely calledfor.
The photographs thataccompanied the article, pornographic though they were, did provide a glimpse into the eyes of the beast whichweallare battling. I understand that such gruesome tactics come with somerisk, but I pray that the results will be that pert, nubile, fleshy milk-sacks will remain bound, wrapped, covered, strapped, and otherwise restrained on July 5, and each blessed day thereafter.
Yours,
didi
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
9:50 pm
didi, i dont know what to make of your post.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
10:20 pm
Dear Good Christian,
Make some cookies with it.
Yours,
didi
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
2:43 pm
This was an excellent report. I have long stood against this hippie movement.
Fortunately we were able to get a court ordered injunction preventing this celebration from happening here in our community.
This event is irresponsible. People cannot be led to believe radical protests can cure cancer. Cancer may only be cured by prayer and living a submissive lifestyle as ordained.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
3:17 pm
“Cancer may only be cured by prayer and living a submissive lifestyle as ordained.”
My friend, an atheist, overcame a rare form of ovarian cancer that struck when she was only 18. How do you suppose an atheist was cured of cancer?
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
3:22 pm
Claire, I think we all understand that her ‘cure’ wasn’t from going braless. I appreciate you pointing that out. But….
If you are going to post your agnostic / atheist spittle all over the comments section, please try to stay on topic.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
1
3:25 pm
Someone else prayed for her or she was initially misdiagnosed. But BB is correct, you need to focus.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
1
4:08 pm
I pray for Claire every evening!
Praise or Condemn:
3 
0
4:56 pm
I heard you were a crazy stalker, but I honestly just thought it was a bit of an exaggeration. Now I realize that they weren’t kidding one bit.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
5:42 pm
how is praying for someone stalking?
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
5:46 pm
I agree with Susan here how is praying stalking?
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
6:27 pm
From what I read, Billings keeps talking about wanting to see and meet other people, and pushes it constantly to the point that it’s pissed off others, even after they asked him to stop. He seems intent on meeting up with Claire. He seems to be thinking about her too often.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
6:35 pm
where do you get this from? Claires imagination? Even if it is true what is wrong with meeting a fellow poster? They have both been on here since 2008 from what I understand. If we had been on christwire for 3 years I might be curious to meet you as well. Doesn’t make me a stalker. Makes me curuous. But dont worry, I dont want to meet you.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
6:49 pm
Susan, I know that you’re relatively new here and all, so I’ll cut you some slack, but in the past Billings would say time and again that he’d like to someday come to Boston and meet me for coffee. He’s invited himself to my house for dinner on numerous occasions, even going so far as to make food requests. He’s said all of this despite my telling him each time that if he even gets within 20 feet of my house I’ll call the cops. Back when I was only 18 he made a remark to me that I’d “like his body” – and he KNEW that I was only 18.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
6:45 pm
I need to focus? I was only responding to: “Cancer may only be cured by prayer and living a submissive lifestyle as ordained” written by some schmuck named August Weisz.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
6:51 pm
Oh, and to suggest that she was misdiagnosed is a slap in the face to her and what she went through in order to go into remission.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
6:56 pm
Well, originally I said it was either prayer or a misdiagnosis. But if you are an example of what qualifies for a medical professional in your area I would have to say the chance of a chart error is very high.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
1
10:40 pm
Technically I’m a medical professional but I’m a Certified Nursing Assistant. Our abilities are very limited and diagnosing is one of the things that we cannot do. Nurses also cannot diagnose patients.
P.S. Boston has one of the best healthcare systems in the world and has always been a pioneer in terms of medical breakthroughs. The same cannot be said about Idaho, the armpit of America. If it weren’t for the potatoes we wouldn’t even have a need for your shitty state.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
6:51 pm
looks like everyone is losing their mind! im so happy im insane,……….. insanely kick ass! lol JK, look lets do this, everyone who thinks this site is a joke, then just say “fuck you” when our done telling these morons the truth. No if u think that this site is “Real?” then just state that ur insane, when ur done lying. see then we just sort the morons and liars from the sane people.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
5:49 am
Because Science not religion fixes everything people like you screw up
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
9:36 pm
Most people want to lower their bills but for the most part at least currently sometimes going lowering your bills is not as easy as it sounds.I have looked at eco-friendly and green technology alternatives and adapted where it makes financial sense. So far I have also installed solar panels on my home but while looking for a electric car I find the cost doesnt justify it for me and also doesnt lower my bills much. While I am passionate about making good financial choices and opting for green technology whenever possible it is up to people like you and I to spread ideas about how to lower your bills. Your website looks popular and I think you can help influence society with your insight and tips. By the way I found your site by searching ” July 5 National Go Braless Day – Is this a Mormon Plot? | ChristWire ” and you were the first result. So I think your website is a perfect platform to discuss ideas that are thought provoking to help influence your readers to make wise choices with our budgets. – Good luck with your site, you deserve all the success! Please continue to talk about more tips on saving money, every idea helps us get closer day by day!
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
1:28 am
Mormon plot?
I find this article interesting because “Mormon” people are all over the place. This article was well written, but I believe nothing in this article. In my opinion, what guy/ girl wouldn’t want to go bra-less for a day. Instead of pointing out everybody’s mistakes in life every minute of the day, do something meaningful. Like get a job. I know you’re old enough Christwire, so do it.
-Ryatin
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
1:33 am
wow i though christ wire people were dum but you ryatin your worse
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
2:04 am
@ Annoyance,
Okay, love the name. Suits you so well. Anyway, the only reason I am replying to your “trying to be witty” comment, is because your spelling is phenomenal. The best I’ve ever seen. But, I have my opinions and you have yours. If someone says “Hey, lets make it National Bra-less day.” Then hell with it. Let it happen. If you weren’t in the White House when they said, “It’s official!” Then shut up and don’t worry about other peoples minds and how they think.
-Ryatin
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
2:16 am
Ryatin,
What a self absorbed little ideology you have going on there. You offer your smug opinions after the fact and fail to recognize this ‘braless day’ accomplishes nothing toward the stated goals.
I think what is most annoying was your ‘shut up’ comment. Sure you can post your peevish insights with the aplomb and grace of a outhouse rat, but to take it upon yourself to command others actions with a flip of your imperial cape is something altogether less acceptable.
Perhaps this is how some roll on the Dodian pages, but not here.
Kind regards,
BB
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
2:21 am
couldn’t you cut her some slack blanche thats only like her second or third post
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
2:24 am
@ Blanche,
I didn’t fail to recognize it. I knew it didn’t reach stated goals, I just didn’t want to bring it up. I didn’t want to read your idiotic false statement again. And my “shut up” comment wasn’t directed toward you. So I suggest you just keep twiddling your fingers and hold your breath until you actually come up with a true explanation for the “so upsetting July 5, Bra-less day.”
-Ryatin
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
2:31 am
@ Blanche again,
I am so sorry for that just recent post. I left to go use the bathroom and my brother got a hold of the computer. Again, so sorry for last post.
Truly sorry,
Ryatin
Praise or Condemn:
0 
1