Mexican Los Angelians construct a shrine to Marilyn Monroe outside the main Carmageddon entrance to entice families and tourists of all flavors and backgrounds to attend to dangerous event.
Every year in the city of Los Angeles, a smog-ridden festival of poisons and debauchery takes place all along Wilshire BLVD and into the Staples Center in downtown. The event is a Mexican pride fiesta called Carmageddon, full of ‘revamped’, stolen cars with VIN numbers scratched off and loud mariachi music blasting every which way.
Yesterday, nervous Los Angeles police officers ordered the 405 shut down as to block access to Mexican car gangs coming from Coachella to present ‘their’ cars as show pieces and even for sale. At last year’s Carmageddon alone, over 83 cars on California’s ‘hot wheels’ list of stolen vehicles were found, but sadly over 73 counts of sexual groping and underaraged urinal orgies were also reported, which is typical at such Mexican fiestas.
Even more disturbing, a new brand of Kawasaki motorcycles from Japan were outfitted with annoyingly bright colors and big-track low riding wheels. It turns out that Kawasaki Comapany knew that this shipment of bikes to the Mexican riddled Palm Desert region of California would be stolen and shown off at a ‘mini-feature’ of this year’s Carmageddon, which is being unoriginally called “Bikeageddon”.
It seems the Japanese have crafted some sort of bacterial agent that is light enough to become airborne or adhere to hands, which are busy eating greasy churros and sloppy burritos at this event. Already, 4,345 people alone today have become sick and are suffering from the symptoms of with the CDC is calling “Kawasaki disease”.
Much like the Bubonic Plague, this disease causes the blood to boil and even the face of melanin inflicted people to turn beat red. Shocking photos of those suffering from Kawasaki disease are starting to emerge and each one is more disturbing than the next, as seen here and especially here. Now that Carmageddon features gangs of zoot-suit juggalos and Japanese super-virus bacteria attacks, you would not think it could get much worse, but trust, it does.
There are ravers at Carmageddon. As Tyson Bowers III warned everyone, ravers are inherently dangerous and typically show up at events with loud music and flashy cars. Ravers are ‘scene kids’ and anywhere they think they can make a scene, they will pop up. It is usually to perform public acts of Satanic wiccanism and offend sensible parents with flashes of stark nude bodies, which they quickly cover again with all their black robes and wide-legged pants laced with spikes, blood and phallic demon whack sauce.
All in all, Carmageddon is as dangerous as it sounds. It is usually marked as the end of innocence for ‘virgin Carmageddites’ who quickly have their sensibilities destroyed by the imagery of gyrating Mexican car salesmen hopped up on Jalapeno cocaine, all while little raver kids cut themselves under their black robes and cry out for attention, only to be outdone this year by all the people dropping like flies from Japanese ported Kawasaki disease. Its a wonder you never see any national figures attend this event. It is dangerous.
If your child is asking to attend Carmageddon, inform them that unless they want to end up dismembered in a creek and missing on the 5 0’clock news, they will be staying home with the rest of your family. You don’t want to tango with Mexican drug border wargames and that’s all you will really find at Carmageddon. Consider yourself warned and keep your distance, it’s a dangerous event full of naive people who get sucked in by the name and all the fiesta caliber noises and promises of Marilyn Monroe’s underskirt.