• Lois Lane Breaks Up With Superman – Superman #1 Relaunch

    July 18, 2011 1:23 pm 9 comments
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  • Source – DC Comics

    For years now I have warned everyone about comic books.  They say ‘comic’ in the title but when the final page is closed, the only one chuckling will be Satan because he knows the last page of your childs life will be a fantasic display of imaginary friends with special speedo power who can magically defy gravity and shoot laser fire from their eyes, all while giving each other pats on the backside and complimenting girly character who look like Vegas strippers whose tata mammals can defy gravity without support bras!

    I’m talking about books being marketed to five year olds, parents.  If you won’t let a woman come up and give your child an ogling milk shake jumble to the face, then why would you let him read the filth of Wonder Woman 3d double d whore in the pages of DC Comics?

    Now we have all long suspected that DC Comics’ top three characters Superman the Cryptonian (he wears blue because he is in the crisps gang and is responsible for the notorious Los Angeles Crysps, the gang), The Batman ( a gentleman homosexual who dresses boys in pantyhose and gives them a girl’s name Robyn) and then the worst of all, the stripper power feminist Wonder Woman who teaches children bondage and rope game values, have a explicit love triangle.

    Just like Freddie and Daphne used to always go to clean spiderwebs with the wire auger while Velma, Shaggy and Scooby were sent away to take care of their marijuan cracked cocaine food addictions, Superman and Batman used to ‘meet-up’ in the Batcave to play nest the worm with Robin and it is all sick.  The artists used enough ‘context’ so that when children would pass out reading these comics under their covers, the brain would bridge between the lines and fill it in with homoerotica.

    Wonder Woman is just plain wiggly stiff inducing material in itself and you would be blind not to see her agenda with Batman/Superman crossovers.  Superman once cheated on Lois Lane for 1,000 years by dallyholing Wonder Woman then we wonder why kids grow up to have affairs?

    Frank Miller says it best.  Whore.

    And that’s what we find in the new Superman series, but it’s a new breed of whore.  Homowhore.

    While DC is remiss on annoucning this one, it’s pretty obvious that Superman and Lois Lane are breaking up so DC can be all new age and cutting edge by announcing the first major homoheroes in comics:  The Dynamic Duo, The World’s Finest Jock Sock Stuffers Tandum:  Batman and the Superman.

    We already have the cover shot of Superman #2.  Thank you to Joe Quesada for this Cogswell sniped image:

    Now look there.  You cannot deny the facts.  Superman has already used his alien DNA to give birth to a baby and this is the start of the new franchise.  Maybe we’ll find that Wonder Woman and Lois go off on a romantic safari phallus excursion to Themyscira, where they play lesbian frolic all day and encourage girls to grow up and want do to the same.

    Parents, ban your children or you’ll find one day, your little Stevie shamefully walking to your door 9 months pregnant.  Don’t say it can’t happen in a world where we are to believe Jewish saviors can fly around and lift steel structures, firing wrath down upon those who do not vote for gay marriage and then in the next, knock up a billionaire playboy turned turftoe playgirl subscriber.

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    About The Author
    Tiernan Kincaid

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