• MakerBot 3D Printing Needs Media Savvy Know-It-All to Trumpet Devil Toys – No Kidding Real Job Opening

    July 19, 2011 12:54 pm 4 comments
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  • July 19, 2011 – The staff of MakerBot, the wacky blaspheming 3D printer thingy manufacturer, needs someone with a whole list of qualifications to promote their plastic crap production equipment. Apparently the current marketing plan which includes word of mouth, a fat man with a placard waving at cars from the street corner, providing miniature hipster heads to geeks and parading one of the founders on Stephen Colbert’s variety half hour cavalcade isn’t enough to fill their pants with money. These greedy monkeys want more.

    The management has a whole grocery list of qualifications on their site, so if you are truly qualified – pay attention, shower and put on a business appropriate ensemble before sending in your application. Here’s a brief excerpt, see the full ad here.

    This brand new job will be a hands-on media relations staff position with the primary responsibility to raise awareness even more broadly, telling the story of MakerBot through creative, comprehensive media outreach, and effective placement in national and regional outlets. The ideal candidate will increase MakerBot’s public awareness in new markets by creating and executing additional strategies to complement existing outreach efforts.

    A portfolio of successful past media placements is required that specifically demonstrates results-driven interaction with top-tier national and regional consumer media, and broadcast outlets. The ideal candidate is a self-starter who independently initiates and follows through with opportunities; has established contacts; has strong problem-solving skills; and has proven experience juggling multiple, high-pressure deadlines.

    I personally think I am perfect for another position with this firm. My experience juggling multiple, high-pressure deadlines and making a pre-school teacher burst into tears all before 9:00 AM just means I won’t let emotions get in the way of a goal. Menopausal women are outstanding business people. Consider the wisdom of Kris Jenner in response to Kim Kardashian’s complaints of media overload at a birthday bash – “I’m not here to eat cake, honey.”

    I have some unique ideas for public awareness of the MakerBot thingy’s utility. There’s a part on my refrigerator’s ice maker that looks like a three quarter gear. Since it is plastic, I suspect the molding process used to produce it allowed for a level of porosity or air bubbles that with continued opening and closing of the door expanded and contracted over time.

    This expansion and contraction weakened the plastic and additionally created ice that stresses and stops the gear from turning properly, which stops the release of ice into the reservoir. All this stress has caused this small part to break twice within 3 years. The retail cost of replacement of this part is about 10% of a MakerBot machine – about the same cost as two bags of ice each week for the wear period. I want to pay much less than that and keep my freezer space free of manual ice production, which means I want every little Podunk town handyman to maximize his profits and reduce my out of pocket when the thing breaks. As long as the additive manufacturing process minimizes the air bubbles and doesn’t require replacement at least nearly as often, this is a win-win-win.

    I also think that MakerBot needs to get friendly with the Kodak business model and how to maximize fungible goods profits into the business model before someone (who is savvy in JIT logistics, finance, consumables markets and manufacturing MRO needs) pounces on the opportunity, but we can discuss that in detail during the interview for a more interesting position than media cat herding.

    I am petitioning Mr. Beecham for one of these maker things for Christmas or my birthday. While I still believe it is the devil’s work, I really need to see for myself. Plus, I have this doo-hicky that broke on my thingamajig and I need something to replace it.

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    About The Author
    Blanche Beecham "Blanche Beecham lends a soft, learned hand to the fourth estate with incite-full investigations on diverse topics such as Politics, Love, and Lifestyle. Her many years experience as a wife, mother, ladies book club president and financial auditor make her well suited to ferreting out the truth and giving it a sound shake." - Rev. Jackson Lee Whitebelley, Publisher and Editor of "The Incubator" - Follow me on Twitter! @BLANCHEBEECHAM

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