• More Hatemail from Our Atheist Homo-toking Friends

    July 7, 2011 4:31 pm 65 comments

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    Author:

    Chuck Reagan

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    Remember, you can touch us with your questions, praise article ideas, people we need to boycott and even your hateful comments at holymailbox@christwire.org.

    Hatemail

    Dear ChristWire,

    you are the most unintelligent bunch of red neck, god fearing, unevolved monkeys. You can barley string a sentence together and make up words constantly (homogay?) Whats it like having never evolved a thumb? must be hard on you… Anyway there isn’t a God, there isn’t a hell, you are so full of shit its unreal. If there was a hell you would go straight to it for spreading your evil hate filled christian lies.
    Fuck you, i wouldn’t piss on you to put you out if you were on fire you fucking scumbag, you need to be locked up.  

    - Tom, from Maryland

    Tom, it is sad to see you have devolved into such a primative Afro-Saxon being that you cannot communicate without using so many black sailor mean words.  Rest assured, you make Satan orgasm with delight as he reads your words “there isn’t a God” for he knows that one day, the souls of all atheists will be his homo kink toys in the festering pits of hell.  Be blessed and don’t become Satan’s eternal bosom buddy.

    - Christwire

    _______________________

    Dear ChristWire,

    My girlfriend caught me reading and laughing about your article on ravers.  She is a big into the raver scene and basically has banned me from having sex from her because I found the article hilarious and true.  Let’s say she is hot, but her raver friends annoy the hell out of me.   You guys are smart as hell, so let me just ask you this.  Can you help me get her back into bed again?   Please tell her it was all jokes and not meant to make her cry because I found it all funny.  I’m hurting bros!

    Jeff

    Dear Jeff,

    By her closing her legs, you have just been saved by at least 36% from catching an STD or worse getting her pregnant and having an STD laden baby 9 months later.  Raver girls are known to harbor the worst of moist hump diseases and also the majority of them use welfare checks by the time they reach 22 years of age.

    Get out while you can and consider this a blessing.  Also, if she’s been holding out from you for that long, she’s cheating on you.  Girls crave carnal hip grinds twice as much as you.  Get checked for an STD while you’re at it.

    Sincerely

    Your Moral Leaders at ChristWire

    _______________________________

    Hello,

    This is the first time that I read this website and let me tell you I´ve never read something that make me feel such as a CAVEMAN, this website is like a time machine where you can get a ticket to go back to the Middle Ages. Every scientific knowledge is denied here, how can you question things like the existing of Dinosaurs????? Evolution??? The Earth has just 6000 years old????  You guys are people from the middle ages or way before when there was no comprehension of about anything. I’m really concern about the kids reading the articles in this website ¨thanks god¨  we have internet and they are more than capable of making research to see how wrong are you. I’m pretty sure that this website will become a factory of atheists just like the bible is, An atheist is just a person who doesn’t have a double moral we do good since we believe in doing good not because we are afraid of a vengeful god.

    Atheism is an effect of knowledge, not a lack of knowledge, I gave a Bible to my son. That’s how you make atheists. …

    Sergio

    Dear Sergio the Arab Atheist,

    Atheism is allowing Satan to pool the wool over your eyes, until one day you wake up in hell and realize Satan is a wolf in a sheep’s skin.  The wool came directly from his belly.  Do not let your family suffocate under the thick, wool blankets of Satan.  Have some refreshing, crisp Godly air come into your lungs, the breath of life of Genesis.

     – Sergio did not stop.  He sent an email then, directly, to Pastor Jack.

    Dear Jack Gould and all of you Christian, Right-Wing pundit cronies,

    You got to be crazy to believe in things like Hell and Satan in the year 2011, go to college, study, read books, see documentaries, open your mind, the bible has stop you guys from thinking…

    Dear Sergio,

     Like many of my other colleagues on ChristWire, I’m Ivy League educated and a multi-millionaire.  Unlike many others, my ministry spans the globe, with millions of readers and devoted followers in the hundreds of thousands.

     You still have the wool of Satan over your eyes, friend, if you do not believe in those things.  Open your heart.

    In His Service,

    Pastor Jack “Jbox” Gould

    Dear Jack Gould,

    A multi-millionaire.  It is sad that people like you are so rich and that is really sad that you guys take advantage of ignorant people selling them those crazy ideas of a life after death, all religions are just businesses and you have confirmed that to me, I´m pretty sure that you don’t believe in any god other than money as every religious leader in the world, that´s why being an atheist feels so good we are not part of that corruption and we can sleep at night.

    Dear Sergio,

    My morality is proven by the power of my wealth and influence over my flock.  This is the American way.  Why are you so down on American prosperity, son?

    It is a strong America that we need again.  The more I can inspire people to achieve in life and work hard in what they believe in, the faster our great country will reaffirm its position as a Christian Nation with a Godly heritage and responsibility to rule and help lead the lesser nations of the world.

    In His Service,

    Pastor Jack “Jbox” Gould

    ______________________________________

    Dear insane christians,

    I came across this pitiful excuse for a site while googling the “band” Blood on the Dance Floor, which is agreeably horrible.  I, however, dislike them because they are painful to listen to, not because of some self righteous crusade to “protect children”.  A link on the site caught my interest, it was about breast feeding.  Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m fairly certain that breast feeding is a completely natural part of life and that “Jesus” himself must have been breast fed to survive infancy, assuming the blatantly false belief that “Jesus” was a real person.  It would appear that he is not considering the gospels where written some time after “Jesus’s” death, and that none of them refer to “Jesus” as being a real person who had ever lived on Earth.  You and your religion sicken me with your closed minds and paranoid tendencies that border on schizophrenic intensity.  Are you aware that your mission statement speaks of the “Left Wing Conspiracy” and “Liberal Agenda”? speaking as though those two things are concrete movements with documentable evidence that they exist?  I was shocked until I remembered that you also believe in “god” who is obviously not real.  I’m also livid about your description of feminists.  You, my friend are the knuckle dragger, for who else but someone with a tiny caveman-like brain could be so ridiculously medieval in their beliefs and political standing?

    Fuck you.

    Sincerly,

    Matthew

    Dear Matt,

     We are civilized beings.  And just like we now use ‘restrooms’ to expell our bodily functions, women can use ‘bedrooms’ to expell their mammalian function into a screaming child’s mouth.  There is no place in civilized society for women to expose themselves in such gross manner.

     Sincerely,

    Your Moral Leaders at ChristWire

    ________________________________________________

    G’day,

    Just had a look at your video regarding Minecraft, RIFT & SW:TOR and I would like to say thank you. Thank you for bring back to my attention the idiot hypocrits that ‘you people’ can be – yes, i say ‘you people’ because you’re not Christians or Catholics, Jews or Muslims – I have absolutely no idea what religion you are simply because your religion has no books. All this ‘proof’ you people spew out every day that Homosexuality is a Sin ect. ect. is complete bullshit. Find me 1 passage where is specifically states “Homosexuality is a Sin”.

    You clearly have absolutely no idea about anything you’re talking about – It’s people like you who are making this world a worse place to live in.

    Regards,
    Me.

    Here is four, for you:

     Lev. 18:22, “You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female; it is an abomination.”1

     

    Lev. 20:13, “If there is a man who lies with a male as those who lie with a woman, both of them have committed a detestable act; they shall surely be put to death. Their bloodguiltness is upon them”

     

    1 Cor. 6:9-10, “Or do you not know that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, 10nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, shall inherit the kingdom of God.”

     

    Rom. 1:26-28, “For this reason God gave them over to degrading passions; for their women exchanged the natural function for that which is unnatural, 27and in the same way also the men abandoned the natural function of the woman and burned in their desire toward one another, men with men committing indecent acts and receiving in their own persons the due penalty of their error. 28And just as they did not see fit to acknowledge God any longer, God gave them over to a depraved mind, to do those things which are not proper.”

    Sincerely,

    Your Moral Leaders at ChristWire

     

    That does it for today’s hatemail, though there are tens of thousands emails and letters waiting to be opened.  If you find yourself disagreeing with an article from a Moral Leader, look deep into your heart.  No that it is painted black and Satan is using you as his easel, painting a picture of ‘reality’ that is very far from the truth.

    Open your heart, eyes and mind to the fresh gospel of ChristWire, then open your belly to be filled with the much needed nutrients of values, morality and conservatism that your soul craves.  Do not let Satan starve you and make you spiritually malnourished, dear readers.  Be blessed.

     

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    About The Author
    Chuck Reagan Bringing back morality one kneecap at a time.

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