Peeping Tom Phish Fan Evades Police by Hiding in Porta Potty
It seems The Phish can’t stay out of the news. Last week, Police in Boulder, CO began the search for a man fitting the following description: “a skinny, black-haired, white man in his twenties, standing between six-feet-five and six-feet-eight inches tall, with cuts on his back and arms and wearing only a pair of gray sweatpants”, who happened to be covered in feces.
A young woman who was merely trying to use the porta-potty in peace at a local yoga festival was horrified when she noticed something moving in the tank below her. As she fled in terror to ask security for assistance, the door locked behind her. Moments later, a man soaked in excrement and blue dye emerged from the bowels of the toilet and began running. Security gave chase to no avail.
http://blogs.westword.com/latestword/2011/06/man_hides_porta_potty_tank_yoga_festival_unlawful_sexual_contact.php>
It turns out that the man in question was also wanted by police for “unlawful sexual conduct”. He was suspected of spying on women all over the local University of Colorado campus, which included drilling out peep holes in woman’s restrooms and trying to inappropriately grope female co-eds.
It should come of no surprise that this man was also a local, drifter hippie who gave up his Christian name to take on the transient alias, “Sky”.
Associates of Sky gave police a new lead when they claimed that he was heading to The Phish festival known as “Super Balls” in upstate New York this weekend. He was described as being a “dedicated phollower” of the band. Fans of “The Phish” are notorious for replacing the Christian spelling of words that begin with “F”, with “Ph”, which is akin to gang members who use a secret language to communicate their misdeeds with each other. Christwire contributor, Brother Stephenson Billings has done great investigative pieces that bring to light these esoteric communication methods used by The Phish community. http://christwire.org/2011/06/when-it-comes-to-the-phish-music-censorship-is-not-enough/
Could the music be to blame for this anti-social behavior?
Hippies are known for bizarre sexual fetishes, such as cross dressing
It seems “Sky” may have been trying to emulate one of his idols. In 2003, The Phish bassist, Michael Gordon was arrested and convicted of child endangerment when he molested the 9 year old daughter of a Hell’s Angels member at a Dead show. He was rightfully beaten senseless by the bikers. http://phisharchive.com/articles/2003/mikerolling.html
Gordon’s dangerous and bizarre behavior should have been noticed a long time ago if fans of The Phish were sober enough to realize what was going on in The Phish’s music. Gordon co-penned songs like “Weigh”, which revels in weighing the severed body parts a young girl in a nod to some kind of murderous sadomasochism. In the tune, “For Esther”, Gordon celebrates the gang rape of a prepubescent girl, and in “The AC/DC Bag”, he exclaims the line “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours!” which is likely referencing a conversation he had with one of his young victims.
A depraved Gordon stares into the camera. He has been known to have a strange relationship with small animals
So it should come of no surprise that listening to The Phish’s music has a direct correlation to the behavior of peeping tom super fan, “Sky”. I will be flying into New York in the morning to attend this Super Ball undercover, as many of you know, and while I was planning on helping authorities catch drug smugglers, I believe my first priority should be to find this sexual deviant named “Sky”. We already know that we cannot rely on the fans to turn in one of their fellow hipsters, so this task will require outside assistance.
If any of you spot a man fitting the description of “Sky” mentioned above, feel free to contact Detective Jeremy Frenzen at 303-441-1890. I urge you to proceed with caution however, as “Sky” is a reputed member of the notorious hippie street gang known as “The Nitrous Mafia”, and he may be armed and dangerous.
(Michael Gordon isn’t the only member of The Phish to have legal trouble. Pictured below is frontman Trey Anastasio’s mugshot from a recent drug conviction)
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Matthew B. Glosser
Matthew Glosser is a young, aspiring preacher who left a haven of sin known as New Jersey to move to the Godly state of Arizona. His interests include going undercover to infiltrate, most notably, the hippie and homogay movements in order to share his horrific findings with the Christwire Fellowship.
5:47 am
I’ve provided links for those naysayers who believe Christwire doesn’t research or source any material… i’ve easily debunked that lie
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12:53 pm
Well, this is an exception, true. But you also sourced your own articles. Good journalists don’t do that.
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12:58 pm
Madame,
I suggest you speak to Woodward and Berenstain about that. They always referred to their past reportage when they published their slander against Nixon.
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4:24 pm
i sourced ONE article written by brother billings
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6:10 pm
And all of his articles are total crap, so whatever point you were trying to make ended up failing if the only person you can rely on for information about a band you’ve never done any research on is a liar and an idiot.
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11:27 pm
Young man,
Whose articles? Woodward’s or Berenstain’s?
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2:10 am
there are numerous OUTSIDE SOURCES.. read the bloody article nexttime.. this is all true
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2:33 am
I did read it Matthew, and there’s so much bullshit it’s insane. Yeah, people will do drugs at concerts, but implying that EVERYBODY who goes to one does drugs is just ludicrous and insane.
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2:54 am
what is bulls&#*! about this article ? yes there was a phish fan named sky who sexually assaulted women and hid in a portapotty… and yes .. his idol.. mike gordon of phish is a convicted pedo.. so what am i missing? its my job as a commentator to draw the connection
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3:58 am
What’s bullshit is that you’re assuming that Phish is responsible for the crimes committed. You all think that way about everyone. You can’t get it through your heads that music isn’t mind control, nor is any other media that you don’t like. If someone does something stupid and they like something, whatever they like is NOT responsible for whatever they did.
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12:31 am
actually.. i wasn’t even sourcing br. billings.. i was just giving him a shout out for his tireless work against the phish
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9:13 pm
hmmmmmm, hills have eyes 2 anyone well that’s him, that’s the dude from the hills have eyes 2
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9:15 pm
nice try Matthew that’s Trey Anastasio, only thing wrong with him is the abuse of controlled substances, second pic is a skit from the movie the hills have eyes2
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2:57 am
yea i know its Trey.. he was a heroin addict and he broke up his precious band just because of it.. don’t try to come on here and say you no more about The Phish than i do.. or morality for that matter
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1:11 pm
matthew b. glosser has to be the biggest flaming cock sucking fag on the planet.
you are ugly as shit also you stupid cracker.
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5:07 pm
dan, i like u. and matthew u gotta grow up and stop making up stories.
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5:52 pm
FACT: Trey Anastasio is a heroin addict
FACT: He couldn’t stay awake on stage due to nodding off
FACT: The Phish broke up because Trey was out of control
FACT: He was finally arrested for his misdeeds.. possession of all sorts of opiates
what stories are being made up you silly tranny?
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6:08 pm
no my little boy ur the tranny, well from monkey to fucked up wanna be human, and quit hating or u get Hitler, for haters that is
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3:16 am
i thought you were a goth satanist anyway.. not a hippie communist.. make up your mind
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12:33 am
why are you so vile alison? you have yet to point out one inaccuracy in this article.. and you continue to make nonsensical statements.. “nice try matthew, that’s trey anastasio” what does that have to do with anything? what are you referring to when you say “nice try” start making sense
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2:11 am
i really am praying you don’t end up in hell young man
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6:10 pm
woman, u douche bag cock loving pussy hating fuck nut from hell.
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6:25 pm
ahhh little Matthew has a girlfriend!!!
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10:41 pm
yea hes always talking sex talk with me.. i assume he must have some kinda crush
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6:08 pm
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA NOT EVEN IF I WAS PAID! He just want to get with a real woman instead of his blow up doll! that is whay he always trys to get either me shannon lauren and any young beautiful young ladie and yes all 3 of us are extreamly beautiful. Too bad for u, hope u enjoy fucking ur blow up doll.
and unlike u i have a lady at my side and i will marry,
suck on that bitch!
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9:53 pm
Young man,
i’m married…legally.. to a beautiful Christian woman.. im not trying to get a fake, unconstitutional marriage license like you
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7:22 am
I’d also like to praise Brother Billings for bringing this epidemic known as the phish to the attention to Christian parents… This article wouldn’t be possible if it weren’t for Pastor Billings raising the awareness of the community and law enforcement… So once we catch this pervert, be sure to thank Stephenson Billings, Boulder PD for getting such a great description, and the staff of Christwire
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8:32 am
I hope you get MOLESTED BY BILLINGS
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12:58 pm
I don’t… poor Billings. Even I wouldn’t want that to happen to him!
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8:14 am
WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU??? whatever ur saying about mike gordon is not true. and its MIKE gordon, not Michael. and so what if this kid was a Phish fan? what does that have to do with phish? what is your obsession with smearing phish? what is Steven Billings obsession with it? WTF! Fuck that fat old man and fuck you
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9:05 am
I think it is more a question of what is it with fans of The Phish being obsessed with smearing themselves with feces…
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6:27 pm
if I had to hear that god awful music I might as well!
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8:18 am
“Weigh” leads to sadiomasichism? Where do you get your information? Seriously dude, where did you get any of this information… I can’t believe how ignorant you Christian fundies are. I’m going to be at SUPER BALL IX today, and guess what? I’m not going to tell the police if I see “Sky” lmao
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8:24 am
i dunno where he or anyone else on this site gets there info they r all retarted though
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8:22 am
Mike Gordon is not a pedophile i’ve read yer articles before on here and yer nothin but a racist, homophobic fucking douchebag christian piece of shit, just like billings and bowers and the rest of em
u kno whaat? the only one who probbly touches kids is U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LEAVE GORDO ALONE!!!
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9:10 am
Ah yes, another pedophillia-obsessed un-Christian. Probably another fan of The Phish too.
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9:22 am
What is with these Phish fans and feces? Is this to make the Rasta hair do?
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9:40 am
A couple of things from the voice of reason folks… First off…It is NOT “The Phish”… The band is simply known as “Phish”. They have an enormous fan base, who are sometimes refered to as “Phans”, but in NO way is the replacement of “PH’ for an “F”, some type of gang affiliation…seriously. In this very large and countrywide fan base built up since the mid to late 1980′s, based on extensive touring, solid musicianship (widely regarded amonst other musicians as some of the most talented players ever), and a huge respect for their fans (phans)… While I can’t speak for any members religious affliation, it is common knowledge that they are very family oriented in their private lives & I believe mostly all married for longer than the general public.
As for the freak in the poop “Sky”…. That probably has more to do with years of drug use or possibly abuse, and very little to do with the band. Phish does have some obscure lyrics, which can be interprated many different ways, written mostly by Trey…Not Mike. As far as the small comment at the end about “Hippie’s cross dressing”…I am a 37 year old male…very straight & very married, who wore long skirts for days at a time when on Grateful Dead tour in my teens & twenties, not because I was a sexual deviant ( I am a little kinky now, haha…but aren’t we all…really?), but usually it was the result of losing or tearing my pants, having lost my other clothes on the road, and having to rely on what was available. Have you guys ever called the guy playing the bagpipes at some one’s funeral a cross dresser for wearing a kilt? I think not. It is merely a little youthful rebelion. get over it & get over your fear of different strokes for different folkes. Their are a lot of people roaming around & I garuntee many think what you guys do ios just as weird! I mean really… Everyone dresses up one day a week & meets in a room to sing to an imaginary friend in the sky… And you think the guy hidding from the cops in poop bucket is weird? Seem about evenly matched if you ask me. Have a great 4th of July weekend and remember… Thomas Jefferson said the worst thing that could happen to this great country of ours is if those wacky Christians got any control of things, we’d be doomed. Focus on yourselves & the good you want to do…Not chasing down an “off the grid” hippie with a penchant for looking at naked girls. At least he likes to look at girls and not boys, just sayin’.
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9:47 am
Losing your pants at a Grateful Death concert? That doesn’t lend your rant much validity…
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4:27 pm
what blaspheme you speak of Brother Thomas Jefferson? when did he say such a thing? i couldn’t seem to find a quote of him saying anything like that anywhere on the internet
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10:12 am
Why hello there Timmay, I don’t think my post was put in the format of a rant…The fellow above me did enough of that for all. I guess I should have been more specific about where I lost my pants…haha. Not actually at a concert, although I have slipped on stairs and split my pants right at the crotch once. I got stuck in a girlfriends skirt for 3 days, when my bag of clothing & toiletries was stolen while at a hotel. There are a few more details to the story, but I don’t think we know each other well enough for me to feel inclined to provide further details… I was 18, I am sure you can come up with all kinds of your own stories…
I do find it perplexing how dismissive some so called Christians are of anyone else, or anyone else’s activites, especially when you look at what a small percentage Christians make up, of the worlds religious followers. You would think Christians would be trying pretty hard to be nice to as many others as they could, so they could get a few more members in their club & more $ for Jesus.
I seriously was just trying to shed a little light on a subject that seemed to get shit on (excuse the pun), before looked at… Again, Happy 4th of July weekend, Christians. Please remember though… America was founded as a secular society with religious freedom for all…Not a christian nation. Jesus probably would have dug fireworks though, if he had seen them!
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10:50 am
Ahhhhh…. I got played with good humur! It took me a couple articles to see what’s up!!! Excellent work though. Can’t believe I spent so much time typing to try and make a point to people who think christianity is insane as I do…or all organized religion for that matter. Great site! I seriously got played though…
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10:15 am
P.S. ~ That’s a Grateful Dead concert…Not Death. Although I hear Christians relish the idea of death, and everyone doing on the same day & getting a horsey ride into the sky…sounds like armagedeon to me. Wait…Didn’t that already come and go back in May???
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11:19 am
I thought for quite some time that this sight was a bunch of wackos who found just about anything that people enjoyed to be chock full of sin. From what I have found out about this site it’s satirical. Enjoy it and take it with a side of humor. Watch out for that “shifty eyed bassist Mike Gordon”
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12:41 pm
Brother Glosser,
Thank you sir.
I’m still wondering what happened to Country Joe McDonald. He used to be prominently featured in The Phish, but I see nary a mention of him as of late.
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4:30 pm
im honestly not sure what happened to County Park Joe … Perhaps he passed on ? He may have tired himself out for touring with the phish so long
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1:15 pm
Their is no end to the depth of satanic depravity shown by this reckless evil satanic cult known as the phish. Being covered in feces is the norm for these heathen. may god have mercy on their souls. Brother Glosser, I praise ye once again for getting the word out to concerned parents about this pedophile cult of death. god bless you.
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2:08 pm
I too have discovered evil within the Phish’s realms. They have a song called “The Squirming Coil” (as I’m sure you can guess what that abomination is), and encourages The Phish phollowers to seek out the devil and gaze upon him. It begins this way…
“The Squirming Coil of sunset
I keep within my reach
Tried yesterday to get away
And hitchhiked to the beach
I saw Satan on the beach
Trying to catch a ray
He wasn’t quite the speed of light
And the squirming coil
It got away….”
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3:14 pm
I think the lesson to learn here is if you are black and want to evade the police cover yourself in feces.
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6:21 pm
This is all Fake u idiots.
Matthew B Glosser is an avid phish-fan himself with an AIM SN of yuenjoymyself and interests in other heady things, like being a “pastafarian”
https://www.facebook.com/mbglosser
There he is, Glosser himself.
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3:02 am
If you actually followed Christwire you would know that I work as an undercover for law enforcement.. the only way I can gain access to these wook enclaves is to act as if i am into the same things that they are… though i only recently started writing for Christwire .. its starting to out my true identity so I’m probably going to have to make a new alias when i go undercover… and no, im not going to tell you who it is.. how else am i supposed to put you disgusting hipsters into prison? you all make me sick
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3:59 am
Riiiiiiiiight, an ‘undercover agent’, that’s what you are.
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7:59 pm
Brother Glosser,
You neglected the foul, stinking pile of violence-infused sheet music that they call “My Friend, My Friend”. Never have I been so terrified as the time I was undercover at a show and this song was played. Those people turned into savages, it was like something from one of those TV shows.
Thank you for sharing the light.
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3:03 am
You went undercover? What is your alias? PM me don’t say it aloud here obviously… but honestly i don’t believe you.. i feel like you’re some hippie trying to patronize me
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6:30 pm
fish…phish…the phish…
feces…pheces…It’s all the same thing. And someone please tell me I thought the lead singer died of AIDs…is this not right?
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9:44 pm
Why do the gays love poop so much?
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7:32 pm
Wow! Why don’t people go and check out the Wikipedia article for this website? THIS IS PARODY GUYS!!
It’s really funny that everyone here gets so pissed and speaks their mind without being informed about this whole site’s game! They give the writers of these articles so much crap for not investigating the subject they are writing about, yet they themselves have not checked out the true “mission” of this site and have no idea that this is big joke. A joke played on them!
Great job guys! Sometimes it takes serious hard core criticism in order to get people to wake up, and lighten the hell up!!
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3:41 am
Dear site owner, thanks a lot for providing this amazing info… I found it stunning. Regards, !!!
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