Rick Santorum Invents New Anal G-Spot Sex Technique to Bolster Sagging Search Results
Editor’s Note: Thousands of angry emails from confused readers and homogays are pouring in, stating protest and questions against the allegations. Please calmly google “Santorum” and look at the top search result. You will see the top result is a shocker and you need to know why.
In an unprecedented display of debauchery, Rick Santorum has allegedly created a new sex technique call ‘The Santorum’ and it is growing dangerously popular in the gay community. The new act of perversion is being called an anal G-spot tingling technique and its being published pamplet style to New York gays obtaining marriage licenses.
In 2003, ChristWire.org’s late Horace Ellis loudly accused liberal pundit Dan Savage of running a smear campaign against Santorum’s seemingly moral teachings about the dangers of homosexual anal dockings.
When the Gay Agenda’s national campaign to federally legalize improper marriage came to a surging head, Santorum famously exclaimed during the Supreme Court trial: “And if the Supreme Court says that you have the right to consensual sex within your home, then you have the right to bigamy, you have the right to polygamy, you have the right to incest, you have the right to adultery. You have the right to anything. Does that undermine the fabric of our society? I would argue yes, it does.”
And such true and brave words are natural and true. Already in New York, countless reports detailing sordid stories of old cat ladies having incestuous relationships with their kittens and even a guy in Coney Island announcing gay marriage to a Oscar Meyer weiner doll have trickled through the Odd Enough headlines. Sadly, with gay marriage popping up more frequently, what should be odd and sick is becoming the norm.
So perhaps today, it is not shocking to learn that Santorum may have actually masterminded the conceptual design of the Santorum, or the Anal G-spot tingler.
It is a sad testament to this day and age when we see these politicians, so bereft of morals, that they are using sexualized homoglow marketing techniques to get their names more popular on Google. In a world where we thought Santorum meant sanity and stability, we see his fingers are covered with the muck of foul play.
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Charles Atchison
Subscribing to a policy of tough resolve and strong work, Charles Atchison is an premier journalist of humble Mississippi beginnings. When not writing, Charles enjoys flyfishing and is a locally reknown Ventude method chiaroscurist.
11:11 am
I don’t think Congressman Santorum created this whole trend, but rather the liberal media. They fear his Christian roots and his dedication to patriotism. I may be wrong, but I believe this is one of those false flag operations.
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12:40 pm
I think Rick Santorum has a poorly aligned moonish expression that is pleasing to bullies. I question his ability to lead our nation when his weak chin and blank expression may set off WWIII with China.
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1:24 pm
Christians (and I am one) need to learn to stay out of other people’s bedrooms. Santorum and his ilk are BAD for America and on the wrong side of history! Everyone deserves to have civil liberties and the right to marry the person of their choosing.
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4:03 pm
See his family looks too pure. His girls have the prairie hair style and in his eyes sometimes I see a homosexual glint. I think he’s fought on the front line for so long the gays converted him.
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4:14 pm
Now how the hell does THAT work? And wouldn’t that mean that all of your friends here are gay as well?
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4:50 pm
No, there are weak men who are better off playing nurse or unit secretary in the military. Seems Santorum must be one of them. I just Googled Santorum and the results were sick. What a perv.
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6:04 pm
Nursing men are disgusting. I think it confuses the babies.
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1:21 am
Riiiiiight, you doing research, I’ll believe that when you start making sense.
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2:21 pm
Actually, I just checked it too. The results are shocking.
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12:46 am
I will be voting Keating 2012
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1:24 am
Ill be voting Palin ,stupid whore.
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1:02 am
I feel comfortable with Bachman. Nothing fake there!
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5:49 pm
except her facts.
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3:31 pm
No.Santorum is not even a sex move! It is the frothy by product of vaginal sex if the male gave her cunnilingus previous to inserting the member inside her
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