Satanic Hipster Tao Lin Makes Sinful Snuff Film “Mumblecore”
Movie Review: Mumblecore by Tao Lin and Megan Boyle
Rating: S (for Sinister) for atheism, interracial kissing, twiddle rompus sex acts, heavy drug use, gambling, violence, irony, autism and subtitles.
Have you ever heard of a “snuff film”? A snuff film is a Satanic video where a real person’s life is taken away on screen. It is the most sinful of all films in existence. The noted atheists at snoopers.com claim that there is no such thing, but they are very wrong and the proof is staring itself and you right in the face with soulless hipster eyes:
Mumblecore is a snuff propaganda film that focuses on the slow physical decay of its protagonists, autistic hipsters Tao Lin and Megan Boyle. For its entire runtime of one hour and twenty-five minutes, the audience is sickened watch them wither away on their crawl toward the grave. In what passes for a plot, these Satan twiddlers go to North Carolina, put drugs in their anuses, have wild bestial sex with each other, put more drugs in their anuses and the anuses of their friends, and get married solely to mock the institution of marriage. Mostly, however, we watch the pair’s corporeal bodies disintegrate, a snuff act that these disgusting filmmakers apparently thought was “entertainment.”
Bras and sinful mouth sex acts are all over the film. The protagonists openly talk about sex they have had with each other and with other people as if they are not ashamed of their venal sin. Both sinners are both supposedly “writers,” and they talk about their own work in reverent tones, replacing God with themselves in the proper scheme of worship, as all atheists do. as all atheists do.
The self-proclaimed “stars” also openly discuss the snuff qualities of their film, They say things like, “I don’t care right now about dying,” and “seems bleak” or “seems depressing.” Yes, sinners, life does seem depressing when the only thing you can do for money is end it all on video, or throw some money down a sinful Vegas slothole with no hopes of even winning back what you started with.
Tao Lin is a Chinese, the most terrifying type of person possible. In this Mumblecore snuff film he is trying to get into the minds of your young child and convince him that life is as meaningless as he thinks it is. Then, while we are sleeping, Red China will take us over and put you and your baby to work in a sweatshop sin factory making dildos for Chinese pornos. Tao Lin is a menace to society and he must be stopped. Megan Boyle is white, so she is not as bad, but she is a shameless whorelot who wants to public sex at every turn. At one point she says, “We should have sex in front of Urban Outfitters,” which is disgusting perverted sin filth trash.
The two are not dead by the end of the film, but it is only a matter of time, and the onscreen toll taken on their bodies is vast. Which is why I offer a plea to the sinners named Tao Lin and Megan Boyle: once you are gone you are gone. After the veil of death has descended, it will be too late to accept Jesus as your personal savior. Please do so now, and encourage the rest of your atheist vegan sin hole hipster anus followers to accept Him as well. Stop snuffing yourself out for cash. Love Jesus with your heart and spread that love.
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Cool Tom Kimbo
I am a Youth Minister trying very hard to show children that God is more awesome than sin docking and rap.
2:05 am
Wow, you have to TRY to be this wrong. Mumblecore is a genre of film, no mainstream movie is a snuff film, and any movie like that that gets any kind of fame is instantly looked into by the proper authorities to find out the exact details.
There’s really no point in going on, you can’t even name the movie properly, and when you’re just insulting Chinese people, and even saying that a movie is ‘sinful’ because it has interracial kissing, you really don’t deserve any respect.
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3:24 am
seems bleak
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4:01 am
but i thought tao lin was gay?
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4:02 am
Available at the MDMAfilms website: mdmafilms.org
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4:23 am
Tao is anorexic and evil
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4:28 am
Are you serious?
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4:59 am
lol this article is a joke right?
this website is a joke right?
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2:07 pm
Yeah, I’m pretty sure it is lol.
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5:09 am
Tao Lin looks kinda like Die from Dir En Grey. Just an observation.
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7:45 am
People who don’t get that this is a satirical website/joke website a la The Onion or Cracked, do some research before getting angry with Cool Tom. It’s supposed to be poking fun at extremist christian websites.
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1:30 pm
looking forward to hanging out with tao and megan
loved ‘bebe zeva’ and ‘mdma’
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5:46 pm
SATAN!!!
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7:14 pm
If it counts for anything, Tao Lin is not on the “Hell” list. But I am checking it twice.
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9:39 am
Am I gay?
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9:00 pm
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NOTHING MORE THAN A SHITTY ENCYCLOPEDIA DRAMATICA CLONE LOL
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12:46 am
You may be in the wrong place? I don’t think anyone here has the slightest clue what an “encyclopedia dramatica” is.
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3:42 pm
shut the fuck up you fag.
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3:58 pm
your a fucking loser! just look at yourself
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9:53 pm
Tom, Actually alot of people know about Encyclopaedia Dramatica.
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9:34 am
What a bunch of fucking christian fags you’re all here.
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3:46 pm
Cool Tom Kimbo, Change your name to Ignorant Tom Kimbo
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3:48 pm
These articles are hilarious. i really hope no one in their right mind believes any article posted on this website!
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8:06 pm
damn
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11:09 pm
I for one wont be watching this.
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10:10 pm
SUBTITLES!?
The movie is sinful for SUBTITLES!?
Get REAL!
I just started to read the article, and that just blew my mind to oblivion.
“Tao Lin is a Chinese, the most terrifying type of person possible.”
This is completely racist, because you, the writer, made an accusation based solely on the person’s racial background. ARE YOU PEOPLE SERIOUS!?
“Tao Lin is a menace to society…”
And it seems like society is a menace to mankind, because of all the ignorant things it teaches, such as just about everything that this site has to offer.
Terrible…
Just terrible…
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4:42 pm
I think the simple answer to that is no, they’re not serious.
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9:50 pm
Im warning you ChristWire…
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11:24 am
OMG interracial kissing?! the nerve of young people these days! and don’t even get me started with subtitles….
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