• Satanic Hipster Tao Lin Makes Sinful Snuff Film “Mumblecore”

    July 12, 2011 1:54 am 28 comments
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  • Movie Review: Mumblecore by Tao Lin and Megan Boyle
    Rating: S (for Sinister) for atheism, interracial kissing, twiddle rompus sex acts, heavy drug use, gambling, violence, irony, autism and subtitles.

    Have you ever heard of a “snuff film”? A snuff film is a Satanic video where a real person’s life is taken away on screen. It is the most sinful of all films in existence. The noted atheists at snoopers.com claim that there is no such thing, but they are very wrong and the proof is staring itself and you right in the face with soulless hipster eyes:

    Mumblecore is a snuff propaganda film that focuses on the slow physical decay of its protagonists, autistic hipsters Tao Lin and Megan Boyle. For its entire runtime of one hour and twenty-five minutes, the audience is sickened watch them wither away on their crawl toward the grave. In what passes for a plot, these Satan twiddlers go to North Carolina, put drugs in their anuses, have wild bestial sex with each other, put more drugs in their anuses and the anuses of their friends, and get married solely to mock the institution of marriage. Mostly, however, we watch the pair’s corporeal bodies disintegrate, a snuff act that these disgusting filmmakers apparently thought was “entertainment.”

    Bras and sinful mouth sex acts are all over the film. The protagonists openly talk about sex they have had with each other and with other people as if they are not ashamed of their venal sin. Both sinners are both supposedly “writers,” and they talk about their own work in reverent tones, replacing God with themselves in the proper scheme of worship, as all atheists do. as all atheists do.

    The self-proclaimed “stars” also openly discuss the snuff qualities of their film, They say things like, “I don’t care right now about dying,” and “seems bleak” or “seems depressing.” Yes, sinners, life does seem depressing when the only thing you can do for money is end it all on video, or throw some money down a sinful Vegas slothole with no hopes of even winning back what you started with.

    Tao Lin is a Chinese, the most terrifying type of person possible. In this Mumblecore snuff film he is trying to get into the minds of your young child and convince him that life is as meaningless as he thinks it is. Then, while we are sleeping, Red China will take us over and put you and your baby to work in a sweatshop sin factory making dildos for Chinese pornos. Tao Lin is a menace to society and he must be stopped. Megan Boyle is white, so she is not as bad, but she is a shameless whorelot who wants to public sex at every turn. At one point she says, “We should have sex in front of Urban Outfitters,” which is disgusting perverted sin filth trash.

    The two are not dead by the end of the film, but it is only a matter of time, and the onscreen toll taken on their bodies is vast. Which is why I offer a plea to the sinners named Tao Lin and Megan Boyle: once you are gone you are gone. After the veil of death has descended, it will be too late to accept Jesus as your personal savior. Please do so now, and encourage the rest of your atheist vegan sin hole hipster anus followers to accept Him as well. Stop snuffing yourself out for cash. Love Jesus with your heart and spread that love.

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    About The Author
    Cool Tom Kimbo I am a Youth Minister trying very hard to show children that God is more awesome than sin docking and rap.

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