• The 6 Hottest Reasons Casey Anthony is Guilty

    July 10, 2011 8:26 am 20 comments
  • Share on Tumblr
  • The hearts of America are ravaged.  For years now, we have loudly yelled that Casey Anthony is guilty, yet, with the handtricks of a liberal Mexican lawyer, a jury of 12 was left mindbent and confused.  American Justice has been corrupted.  A Tot Mom murderer shall walk free today and the devil dances today, my friends.  The Devil Dances on a Sunday.

    There are many liberals out there saying that even though we know Casey is guilty by virtue of our enteric gut instinct, that she had her day in court and she was found innocent.  To that I say bullocks, a stronger suit of evidence simply needs to be cut from the deck.  A more powerful hand of evidence needs to be brandished here, my friends.

    Today, we are going to see exactly why Casey Anthony is guilty, guilty guilty.   Even the most homosexually addicted intestine sniffer who thinks that it’s okay for gays to auger children and for mothers to bury their daughters and have sex with crack cocained addicted black bears will be lead to the truth.  We’ve already found this Anthony woman out partying with OJ Simpson and Prince William, and that’s sick, but the deeper concern is what we caught this girl doing when her daughter was supposedly missing that will shock your heart and make your body stand erect in anger.

    Friends say hipsters m themselves while crying to perverted thoughts of sin docking with Casey and you have to wonder about the morality of the jury who refused to find this woman guilty.  Were they all handpicked hipsters, swingers or was it just Satan whispering to them to stare at Anthony’s pert nipples as she grew nervous in court, her face flushing as she yearned for a loin grasp of a thrusting phallus that just cannot be found in all prisons?  Was it Satan causing her to lip bite and entice jurors to find her innocent, just so they may one day see her shake her bazooms within a porno reel?

    Did these thoughts enter their minds as they poured over the evidence?  Let us take a stroll down the path of psychological manipulation and discover how the swindlers Cesar Baes and Chenny ‘fake Perry’ Mason used advanced sexual stimulus techniques to confuse the jury and make them subconsciously vote Tot Mom to be innocent.

    Evidence 1:  The Night of the Reversed Poker Poopy Squat Pose

    The Anthony defense team opened their closing arguments with one key statement: “slut”.  They called Casey a slut, leading the jurors to imagine her engaged in all sorts of positions, where her firm, guilty prison enhanced thigh muscles would stand taut over a writhing body, pommeling her with merciless sexual excitement until she finally had a moist explosion and reared her head back, crying to the heavens in glee and repentance.

    The jurors had all this racing through their mind and were playing right in Baes’ card of tricks.

    In the soft core image above, used as evidence, we see Casey Anthony is reverse pooholing a girl and using what’s known as a ‘Reverse Poopy Squat Pose” in the gay community’s vernacular.  We’ve seen actress Emma Watson do this same pose and it is meant to entice and cause a gay’s passion to rise and screech like a cat in heat.  It also affects latent gays, who are sexually stimulated and confused by seeing women posed in an act meant to make anal gratification easier for both parties.

    When this picture was taken, Caylee was ‘missing’.  A neighbor reports the mother, Casey, had asked him for a shovel so she could ‘dig up some bamboo shoots’.  In the end, this picture is a true example of the Joker giving a good strap-on daggering to a bent referee, symbolic of what happened to Lady Justice that day in court.

    This image was only used to stimulate the jury’s sexual fantasy and it only got worse from here.

    Verdict:  Guilty

    Reason:  Lesbianism, missing daughters, poker porn outfits, shovel borrowings and bamboo root orgies is just too much carnality to be innocent.

    Evidence 2:  The Phone Call

    Let’s play a game of pretend here.  Pretend you are on the receiving end of a phone call from your friend Casey, who is having her ample mammalian ludicrosities supported by a bra with no wiring mesh, only a cotton-blend flesh rap.  She’s inviting you to a house with Redrum smeared on the walls and some sort of alchol-induced orgy is taking place, then doing duck-lipped copulation poses for the camera.

    And her daughter is missing.

    Maybe you would ask her if she should be looking for her daughter if the allegations that she was missing, later stuffed in a bag and Winnie Pooh blanket were actually true, and that you had never seen an evil Mexican nanny named “Weenie Weenie” who has an evil penchant for drowning kids in fantasy land pools…I digress and grow with frustration.

    You’re a juror and you see this image.  Gut instinct:  what the hell, if the allegations are true and this picture were taken while her daughter was missing, sure she may just be a slithering slitherin me like Harry Potter’s broomstick slut.  You could buy that.  Maybe she was a habitual liar, with her evil Mexican Mary Poppins, pool drowing granny.  But naturally, she had nothing to do with her daughter’s murder.

    The gloves don’t fit, because she’s not wearing them.

    Verdict:  Guilty

    Reason:  Bloody duck face prostitute writing on the wall is more indicative of guilt than magic broomstick riding Harry Potter Mexican nannies who secretly drown your kid then magic poof back to Mexico, never to be remembered or heard from again aside from Casey Anthony. 

    Evidence 3:  The Classic Temptress

    By this point, you see what’s going on here.  There is seduction and Marilyn Monroe color schems being used.  If this was taken during the time of the missing daughter, either TAPS is into the kink industry and trying to help Casey reconnect or we have someone taking sexy poses which are being used to sway the court of public opinion.

    Show of hands?  Who has taken the time to photoshop a well-lit, sexy pose of yourself while your daughter is missing today?  If this were the day of Matlock, we would have an old man with flapping big ears waving this thing around and a juror #4 crying in a confused mixture of dramatized shameful thoughts tugged back to the beaches of morality, where the soldiering advance of logic forced her to think that “V-Day” must occur and on this verdict day, a victory for morality and Caylee would be had.  In the court of circumstance, taking pictures like this and added to all the other evidence means.

    Verdict:  GUILTY

    Reason:  There is nothing innocent, non-lustful or pure about the picture, especially considering its alleged timing.

    Evidence 4:  This Is How Casey Does It

    Our friend Dudson sent this song from Georgia, spilling a heartfelt response that captures the mood of the nation.


    Verdict:  Guilty

    Reason:  Blacks are involved

    Evidence 4:  Already Filming for Jersey Shore

    Here we see some classic MTV guido groping taking place on the Jersey Shore set.  Casey is barely out of prison, yet we see she’s already dyed her hair and is letting The Situation feel her up.

    Adding to this casting conspiracy, last week we discovered the beautiful and gentle Snooki was fired from the show.  Why parents were concerned why the most tame and moral center of the cast was kicked from the show, we see it was to make room for Satan’s blonde spicy Italian loving bimbo.

    This is allegedly from the episode Tot Mom Tastes Polka Kielsbas.

    Verdict:  Guilty

    Reason:  Already Filming for Jersey Shore and Morally Questionable Housemoms of Arizona

    Evidence 6:  Smoking the Stogie

    On the top left, notice the subliminal placement of ‘The Dream Team’.  When jurors saw this picture, they were distracted by the anatomically right milksack (the one to your left) with slight saucer exposed, but that was likely photoshopped in to draw their feinted attention to the poster that has a cartoon image of the greatest basketball player of the modern era, Christian Laettner.

    A fellow Dukie, Laettner dazzled the crowds with phenomenal passing and thrilling layups during Team USA’s epic Olympic run for the gold.  Baes knew this would make the jurors think of steamy Greek coliseums, with a tan and firmed Casey Anthony slipping off her Toga as Laettner and Larry Joe Bird frolicked in the distance, completing a confusing daydream of steamy Greek goddesses ogling each other and then giving in to underwater temptation, only completed when the frustrating mundane ramblings of lawyers and a judge’s gavel broke the daydream’s of Olympic gold and brought them back to the stark reality of missed evidence.  What a long, droll experience court must be, with the mind wandering off and missing key pieces of evidence.

    The Baes team was giving the jurors eye-candy so when the Prosecution wailed on Casey’s guilt by sluttiness, their minds would go back to think of all these crazy, sexy scenarios and phallic cigar images.  When the prosecution was making key points, the juror’s minds had a vixen devil’s spell cast over them.  The wool was pulled and when it was unveiled, they had to let the focus of their daydreams go free.

    This is all the more reason we can’t trust Mexicans.  They are crafty and sneaky.  If you want to get off for murder, get a rhyming black or a imagination’s mural painting Mexican attorney, the sky’s apparently the limit to what these people can do with a few images, their words and advanced psychological techniques.


    Thanks for rating this! Now tell the world how you feel through social media. .
    How does this post make you feel?
    • Excited
    • Fascinated
    • Amused
    • Shocked
    • Sad
    • Angry
    About The Author
    Thad Connely The gentleman of choice, Thad Connely brings experience of two familial generations of news coverage and hard biting reports.

    Facebook Conversations