• The Black Soul: Godservations from a Missionary in Savage Lands.

    July 26, 2011 11:37 am 4 comments
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    During my cornfed rearing in small-town America I never much questioned the position of the goodly American citizen (read: white American citizen) within the hierarchy of faith. No one did more to uphold blessed Jesus’ example, and no one did more to spread his good word among the unsaved in our society. It was not until my sojourn to darkest Africa (to instruct them on the evils of condom usage) that I began to question our place within God’s plan.

    You see I had grown accustomed to a certain amount of resistance towards the teachings of the Lord in our communities. Even in decent White neighborhoods an increasing number of young people were rendered deaf to the Lord’s graces through their congregation with the flock of Gangstar Trippopper Wrappers like $0.50 and Snoop Doggy Doo-Doo. They were in fact utterly inured to the pleas of our beloved Maker through their decision to perish in Hellfire by kneeling down to worship at the whorelot altar of Lady GoGo’s lezzpenis - but you see there was no such intransigence on the part of the African negroes.

    The squalor of Africa has kept the lion’s share of the horrors perpetrated by the forces of homogay America from intruding on their continental countenance. Moreover, due to hundreds of years of good, honest cotton picking your average black is primed to predominantly follow the instruction of authority, and what higher authority than our Lord?

    These are all laudable attributes to be sure, I shan’t judge or begrudge any people who further the message of our good lord - but what does this mean for the inherent godliness of the moral white man? At first I was filled with a deep pessimism with respect to the moral stuff of the Anglo-Saxon American, yet after careful consideration (and observation) of the African savage I have revised my position.

    Fill a black mind with the word of god, and watch as they sing our merciful father’s praises louder and prouder than any non-coloured individual within earshot. They will also happily give their neighbors a Johannesburg necklace for their lack of faith, so they aren’t wanting for enthusiasm in converting the unenlightened. Yet no matter their earnest sincerity when receiving their instruction on the evils of pre-marital sex, leaving three or more of your “saved” negro congregation unsupervised in the same room as a large-bottomed white girl will only ever result in violent rape. You see the primal urges of their animal brain are able to override and quickly subdue the holy teachings of our Lord God. Our “cultured” Africans quickly revert to their natural state of Zulu rape, and all learning is quickly lost without the guiding whip of his white master. One can only expect this from a people who when left to their own devices are wont to combine the soothing balm of our holiest of hymns with the devil drums of darkest Africa, cavorting in their immodest grass-skirts and whooping and carrying-on like your stereotypical chicken-thief.

    Following this realisation there was no existential questioning left to be conducted. There may indeed be more black souls saved in these dark times of ours, but they will all be guided by the superior moral reasoning of white man. Without the sterling guidance offered by the upstanding Anglo Christian your “saved” Negro congregation is likely to revert to cannibalism and infanticide (or a combination thereof) - as evidenced by the moral decline of the African American.

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