• Today Show on NBC Reveals Trebek Beating Snot out of Burglar

    July 28, 2011 2:50 pm 4 comments
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  • Alex Trebek, the beloved host of Jeopardy and victim of Will Ferrel plagiarism has revealed his Mounty calibre bravery. The Today Show on NBC reveals that Trebek is not only a man with an unbelievable penchant for sounding like he has all the answers even though he’s just a sentence structure reading ahead of Vanna White, but he also has frozen Canadian meatballs of steal.

    As Trebek stayed in a hotel, a strange looking man hopped into an elevator that Trebek happened to be within. Also in the elevator were three small children, a mother in a bathing suit and an old woman in a wheelchair, being pushed by her young grandson.

    When the elevator door closed at the swank hotel, the burglar suddenly sprang to life. “Give me your money or be gutted”, Trebek stated of the man’s first words to NBC sources.

    The knife blade the man wielded was wide and rigged, his eyes glinting with primal rage and African jungle fury. The burglar was naturally black.

    Trebek, taking no gruff and not fearing for his own life, proceeded to pommel the man with an unprecedented flailing of 71-year-old fists. Caught off guard and then realizing he was getting a beat-down from one of America’s most beloved game show hosts, the man relented and ran off the elevator at the next floor.

    Blood flowing in snowblind Canadian fury, Trebek’s honed in on the would-be burglar with a furious rage, much like an angry moose who had been fueled with roid rage. Onlookers say the blows Trebek rained down upon the criminal were damaging to both. What is an event that causes the ground to shake?

    A Trebekquake.

    And quake the burglar did after he stood up and his legs where like jello, as Trebek methodically ravaged each knee and then arms, as only a man with decades worth of medical knowledge from trivia genius could do.

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    Jerry Cohen JP Cohen

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