In the world of homosexuality, there is a fascination with fecality. This adage adorns the marble mantel over every faux-fireplace within a gay’s chic apartment, flanking the flower pots and spent bottles of astroglide.
As we know, one of the greatest threats to America in this day and age is the Gay Agenda. The Gay Agenda (G.A.) is threatening the moral fabric of America with the raunchiest body man-must of drunken 4am shame, the twilight hours so secret that husbands think they can get away with a midnight polar plunge with the pool boy.
Gone are the days when the biggest threat to the family was the wife-udder-letting milkman sliding his slippers under the bed while you were gone to work. Today, gays are playing a game of psychological warfare with us and destroying marriages from the backside. They are using ironic humor and ripped abs to get us to laugh with them and covet their Godly-sculpted bodies, perfected with hours of tedious, glistening gym sweat and deep grunts until they pass out, spent of energy and bodies in need of a vulnerable massage.
At the front of all this imagery, is a new fresh-faced chap named Daniel Tosh who has has been hired by commie-pinko, yellow sputum mucking liberal smear-rag Comedy Central. Comedy Central is also responsible for reprehensible shows like South Park (a children’s cartoon that teaches genocide and cat incist homocide as family values), the Golden Shower Girls (a black marketing production by R. Kelly, playing on 80s sitcom Golden Girls) and now most infamously, a new ‘news.0’ style show called Tosh.0.
Tosh.0 started off as a little followed ‘webisode’ show called Posh Tosh under the YouTube channel Homosexal Culture. It featured a jealous, Bob-Sagetesque host who made catty remarks about celebrity women’s wardrobe and their latest boy-toys. He did this with a younger, more seminal Perez Hilton. The show was an unbelievable sensation in the homosexual community, catching a niche-market left behind by the late 90s Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.
Tosh’s quick, firebrand humor dealings are somewhere between the fiery, angered New York Jew punchiness of Lewis Black, flowered with the diva thigh crescendos of a Broadway dancing Raquel Welch, a timeless eyecandy whose name illicits naughty thoughts and random chuckles of lust. Perhaps this is why the homsexual community is calling their little propaganda comedian ‘The Pretty Cute Jew in the Greenlit Petticoat’ and according to new findings by Christian’s World Weekly, Tosh.0 is behind a new dangerous ‘trend’ of homosexual peer pressure that will fall-over our college campuses this fall.
Tosh Parties, The Newest Threats to Your College Sons
Pepperdine overlooking the Pacific Nestled within the rolling Santa Monica mountain’s foothills of Malibu, Pepperdine University is a campus where the nation’s most powerful parents send their sons and daughters to be sculpted into tomorrow’s greatest leaders. Community safety officer Danny Alcada-Gonsalves reports that even within this glistening bastion of morality and wealth, summer school has already seen a 23% increase in suspected gay activity and a shocking 4 instances of ‘toshing party marathons’ socials reported between the local Sigma Chi and Sigma Nu fraternities in the Malibu locale.
Already appearing at summer school in college campuses nationwide, ‘Toshing Parties’ are being reported by university Public Safety Officers as ‘dramatically vulgar in aftermath, a scene of brown-bathed scat stains laying beneath a waffling mixture of cherry blossomings in hippo ecstasy’.
All this makes sense when we rememer tosh.0 was originally called tosh.hom0 in the series pilot. Due to heavy pressure from corporations and moral watch centers, Comedy Central quickly veiled the true intent of Tosh’s humor behind a very bland and uncreative name. It is this subtle approach that now has parents terrified and school officials dreading a school year of gay diseases and unprecedented cross-fraternity orgies with no-girl invites. Behind it all, Tosh.0.
Insider reports reveal ‘toshing parties’ start out with simple flier invites, saying ‘cross-Greek’ meetings will be taking place at fraternity houses, as to build brotherhood and do away with rivalry. These events are also ‘recruitment’ opportunities where college freshmen on orientation are invited to come, attend a chatty Tosh.0 sleepover marathon and then “Go Greek” in secret, closed door parties on campus.
These events are corrupting fraternities, once the strongholds of men who yearned for fiscal and academic prowess through social connections and strong work in focused career endeavor, into little more than corrupt cesspools of fecal exploitation.
School officials have no grounds to monitor these parties, as they promise to be ‘dry events’ that only serve cold-cuts, bagged chips and explosive Toshtinis, a drink made a Fiju-water and skunky Ozarka tap flavorings.
What officials have failed to realize is that gays are crafty and sneaky by their very nature, and are lacing these Toshtinis with a soluble version of chloroform, causing victimized college freshmen to pass out and find themselves awoken and surrounded in a room of straight-faced Greeks, collegiate bodies standing young in turgor in their togas, while ‘the chosen one’ from the fraternity is videotaped with a YouTube enabled Kodak camera.
The drugged orientee must then endure anal tinglings from the mounted fraternity boy until one of either two conditions are met:
1) He is able to come up with a funny quip that causes 75% of everyone in the room to laugh more than the prior snark Tosh made in reference to an outadated video clip.
2) Tosh.0 reaches exactly its 50th forced laugh track of the episode and he must yell “Tosh Posh!”.
While both conditions are tough to meet when recovering from soluable chloroform in a .5 molar Fiji water solution drugging and being pommedled by a homosexually horny fraternity boy, it’s even more scary to report that at the colleges where these summer toshings are taking place, there is a 3% increase in fraternity recruitment and Tosh.0 has increased its Nielsen ratings 8 fold, making it Comedy Central’s top summer comedy billing in its time slot.
These toshing parties are here to stay, parents, and it’s suspected that Tosh may host an underground website where these homosexual fraternity encounters are archived, ranked and then commented on by the ‘saucy’ factors. When we can find this site we will report it and ban it.
Now there are liberals out there who will try to deny these facts. They will say there are no toshing parties and that viral videos is not codeword for ‘infestation of gay videos, just like a virus in your bloodstream’ but to find the truth, we will go straight to the horses mouth.
After Tyson Bower’s III’s first expose into the gay culture agenda of Tosh.0, we emailed Daniel and his joke writers many letters, demanding he confess to masterminding these toshing parties and admit to having gay video clips. Reading his jokes from an Obama-styled cue card in expected fashion, we see Tosh responds to ChristWire and our suspicions.
Here, Daniel Tosh admits to ChristWire that it’s all about a gay agenda and viral videos in his show. Be informed and spread the truth.
TV Show Review: Tosh.0 (formerly Tosh.hom0 and Posh Tosh)
Moral Rating: S & M (Sinister and Musty) for : unedited shots of anal tingling, unoriginal jokes, biting Bob Saget, gay agenda, toshing party phenomenon, fraternity corruption, laugh tracks at inappropriate moments