• UPDATE – Mormons Launch Bizarre New Twist On “I’m a Mormon” Campaign

    July 4, 2011 8:26 pm 2 comments
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    In response to Michele Bachmann’s triumphant, God-foretold joining in the 2012 US presidential race as the front-runner, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints launched a peculiar new round of its “I’m a Mormon” ad campaign. The pretext of the campaign is that LDS members are regular people who enjoy things like skateboarding, consuming food, plural-marriage, in-breeding, painting, bestiality, and TV worth watching.

    “I’m a Moron” – just like the rest of America.

    With Mitt Romney’s poll numbers falling to single digits now that Michelle Bachmann has rightfully claimed her place as the number one presidential contender, some suspect that this campaign is intended to bolster Mitt Romney’s position and to set the stage for gaining market share from the Socialist-Kenyan-Mohammeden candidate Barak Obama.

    With Romney seemingly no different in policy or track record than a light-skinned version of the slick politico serpent currently squatting at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Romney’s political staff in Salt Lake City needed to present Mormons, and by extension the candidate, in less flattering light. The campaign is brilliant in making LDS members seem just like the rest of American voters – like morons. The hope is that Mitt Romney would be seen as less remote and more voter-friendly as a regular church-loving Mormon.

    For their part LDS officials firmly deny that the ads are part of an effort to prepare the ground for a Mitt Romney presidential bid in 2012.

    These ads, running on the Interwebs and in major cities across the country, each feature a person talking about their nepotistic jobs, in-bred families, puerile interests, poor fashion choices and their sloth before declaring: “I’m a Moron.”

    A campaign official explained that the ads are intended “to help people understand that Mormons are not who they think we are,” and are just as “fat, lazy and un-Godlike” as the rest of America. “Perhaps even more so. Even stranger than regular folk.”

    But this campaign is likely to backfire as informed Christian voters learn about this in Sunday sermons across the nation.

    Even the liberals are skeptical. According to Alex Pareene at Salon, the socialist-satanic web site, “They’re a bit touchy about getting run out of everywhere they were until they ended up settling beside a giant dead salt lake, so working on their brand is understandable.”

    Is this campaign brilliant, or the work of the Devil? I think we all know the answer to that.

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