• Afrosaxons, Homogays and Hipsters Cause Mass Destruction in America’s Birthplace

    August 24, 2011 5:08 pm 9 comments
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    I recently traveled from my home in Dubuque Iowa to see the birthplace of our great nation in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania and was greeted by a massive earthquake caused by the wrath of God that he usually reserves for the sinful west coast. The land of earthquakes is not in Philladelphia. Never in this history of the world has there ever been an earthquake. So why did this quake of earth now happen here? How can we make sense of this?

    Earthquakes are a geology signal from God that he is displeased. They rumple his displeasure and shake all bad things. This is true and makes sense and has is recorded in The Bible. In a metaphor, they say ‘God seas you and does not like what he seas’. And so it is no wander that earthquakes are now spreading here.

    Several facters are responsible for these rumpling warnings. The excessive birthings of AfroSaxons is in this area and causes welfare, murder, and drugs. This is well documented, and can be seen in science. Aditionally, mass riots of rage and evil in the AfroSaxon youngens in this city of Philladelphia are causing havock and soon it will all be taken over by little animals. Even with these sins, God may wait to iron out mischeifs for His Next Coming, if not for the spread and glamorizing of homosex behavior.

    Homosex behavior is bad and hidden behind ever street corner. It was once believed that Homosex was preserved in the Homosex Neighborhood, cleverly named the ‘Gayborhood’ or Hood of the Gays. This is not true though however, because there are no walls or gates to keep in the Homosex. And it is not only found in the Gay Peoples. Homosex has become quite the rage, and is now considered something to be admired and to strive for it. It is even true that some sectors of New Young Hipsters require Homosex Behavior as rite of passage. These male Homosex Fanatics are can be identified by there tight girl pants and purses that they call ‘Messenger bags’. Experimental Girl Hipsters may be seen wearing boy hair cuts and refuse to shave there underarm pits to signal there Homosex Agenda. It is a wander that Whole Foods Market does not experience quaking earth on daily.

    So now we know the reasons of displeasure for God and the cause for spreading earthquakes. He will surely continue to remind us of our evil ways until the Homosex and AfroSaxons are shaken into the quaking earth.

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