• Congress, Get Your Fat Welfare Asses Back to Work

    August 11, 2011 4:16 pm 16 comments

    If your fat, lazy ass is living off my tax money, you’re a welfare queen. I do not care if your name is Speaker Boehner or disgraced congress man Fingler Tiddly Wiener, all you phallic named wonders are ramming your raging lies straight up the backsides of the American people and we’ve had enoug. Get your lazy asses back to work, Congress.

    How is it that Congress is on vacation now when they’ve all but destroyed our country. No one else gets rewarded vacation days for screwing up our economy, leaving us embroiled in wars, giving bailouts to all their buddies and getting their banana rama Weinger Boehner twitter gate scandling asses fellated by their respective media cronies because they all slop the nob of the same political parties!

    You are a bunch of screw-ups, Congress, and I demand you get your honky-tonky, ghetto-swindling government paycheck having keisters back to DC and at least pretend to earn your Obamacare. Yes, you are all suckling Obama’s meaty teats.

    Why? Because if the actual lazy bums who are on welfare, eating their steaks and sweet pies, laughing it up to Jerry Springer are going to get so much flak from guys like you, Boehner, you’re going to get the same flak for doing the same thing! 3 day work weeks. Bopping cabana boys in Maui on the taxpayer dollar! No reading through bills. Is that how you passed law school, blowing the professor and not doing your homework!

    Oh, no, Jerry is semi-cursing! Hell yes, Jerry is semi cursing! I can only pray to my God that you all get smote to the lowest levels of hell, right down there with this half-assed ‘awesome’ road to recovery plan that you have for America. Oh, we’re supposed to be happy that you’re cutting a skippydeedoodaahh Disney Magic $2 trillion dollars off the US budget for the next ten years! What sort of Cookie Monster is toking cookie hash logic are you numbskulls following? Did you spend kintergarden happy numbers time peaking under the teacher’s skirt and snorting 8 ball with your free hand, you little whack job sheisters?

    Let’s break down the math here.

    “If the US Government was a family, they would be making $58,000 a year, they spend $75,000 a year, & are $327,000 in credit card debt. They are currently proposing BIG spending cuts to reduce their spending to $72,000 a year. These are the actual proportions of the federal budget & debt, reduced to a level that we can understand.” – Dave Ramsey

    What more is there to say. Broken down, the US is a family on the brink of going bankrupt. You know, just like the families who bought the $100asdfkasdkl23rqwmkl;asdfmkl;asdf assfucking outrageous priced homes on their half-Juco college degree, crap-ass non-stable jobs that should only have paid a mortage for a Cuban built peso home in Tijuan’s belly stripper gonorrhea bay! It would have at least been affordable!

    You dumb Congressional ‘leaders’ who backdoored deals with banks to let this happen, building our housing market on an unstable bubble that was warned about for years. You are villains. We all loathe and hate you. You’re destroying America. You’re destroying the lives of millions just so you can have that nice martini on your boat and play gay finger nipples with exotic locals you’re meeting up with behind your spouses backs! You swine, you will sizzle like unkosher bacon in hell, and mark my words, Satan is a fat bellied Gentile who will enjoy suckling your fatty pocket, welfare fed corn bread ass up.

    Get back to work Congress.

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    About The Author
    Jerry Cohen JP Cohen

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