Acid-crazed Deadmau5 hipster fans ravage the marijuna-limped bodies of catatonic fans of elder hippie band, The Phish. While original hippies of the 60s and 70s infamously made enemies of ethnic minorities who were clamoring for equal rights in the nation’s most impoverished ghettos, where the two groups exchanged heated words and fists, new-aged hippies (EDM Hipsters in modern vernacular) have strong minority contribution and little tolerance for ‘old-age’ hippies. This distaste was captured in this image as EDM fans mauled and grotesquely sodomized the loose, flabby bodies of middle-aged The Phish fans at Outside Lands in San Francisco. Police reports detail how such brutal acts of backside violations have never been seen before in San Francisco.
Violence was the scene in San Francisco when perpetually crack infused EDM fans of Modestep and dubstep hipster band Deadmau5 violently engaged with the catatonic marijuana-imbibing fans of indi hippie band, The Phish. While the riots were brutal and violent, with over 93 cases of reported sodomy, 84 strip-clothed brawls and 18 counts of theft, the event provides an excellent psychological assessment of new-age hippies (hipsters, aka, ravers) and the classic hippie that tormented America ever since the early 1960s.
The Phish pride themselves as being the first mainstream ‘indi-hippie’ band. But to adherents of the new hipster generation, The Phish ironically represent ‘corporate establishment’. Before declaring war on The Phish fans at the 2011 San Francisco’s Outside Lands Music and Arts festival, notable raver-girl dj Kidd Trixie Sticks had this to say:
“The Phish are corporate washouts. They represent a culture of racism and senseless pride in sloven lifestyles and unkempt bodies. They represent exploitation and greed. Their songs drag on for too long. Twenty-minutes is far too long for any reasonable ‘song’ to drag on. We must wipe them and their fans out of our festival!”.
So what is it? Is The Phish really an ugly, corporate offshoot who masquerades as a band for the people? Or are the new-age hipsters wrong, their jealous violence steeped in the fact that bands like Deadmau5, DJ Quaaluude and Smashing Pumpkins cannot really play their own instruments, but are instead just cheap midi-recording masters of Fruityloops and Audacity?
The Outside Lands 2011: Hipsters versus Hippies
New age hippies, that is hipsters, are notoriously flashy. They commonly adorn themselves with neon body paint and ‘pot pasties‘, little strip-on pads of LSD handed out like candy at every EDM event. Little known to parents, but every girl over the age of 19 is forced to wear pot pasties at a hipster rave, or they will be thrown out by security.
The flashy, pseudo-poor lifestyle of hipsters is typically sponsored by naive, wealthy parents who keep loose watch on their kids, or more commonly in the elder late-twenties hipsters, by living in a communal environment of dirty dishes, musty couches and drug needles littered with pooled money from everyone who lives in the the drug-entrenched apartment.
Unlike the pasty-skinned, Vitamin-D deprived skeletons that were the female hippies of the 60s and 70s, female hipsters usually have a healthy glow and taut, muscular thighs that they flash in exchange for drugs prevalent at these events. While incidence of fornication docking within hippie communal concerts was high at 78%, hipster girls are more sexually active at 84% and twice as likely to be abortion-toking whores. Hippies, however, have lived far rougher lives, without parental support and in the murkiest locales of America, making The Phish phans far more dangerous.
At the heart of the psychology within the hipster generation are neo-modern aspirations sloppily veiled behind a persecution complex. Most hipsters are children who grow up too privileged or as self-casted outsiders, the girls typically with daddy issues and the boys whiny, bratty street punks who find solace in the strange, condemning looks they earn for growing their hair long and highlighted with pink, gayly tight jeans and weird body piercings. For every strange look they receive from a stranger, these children feel more vilified and thus more ‘hipster’, further fueling their persecution complex and meaning of life.
Then there corporate million dollar bands like Deadmau5, Asking Alexandria, the Black Bovine Brides and more to exploit all the feelings of teenage angst and rebellion. Yet, these kids are just a violent, faint and drug-addled whisper of the eternally true danger to America: original hippies.
The violence that erupted at Outside Lands 2011 would make The Phish and hippies seem not very bad, but let’s not forget what these bands and their followers were up to in the 1960s. To understand The Phish and the culture behind The Mud People, or old hippies, one only needs to only review the psychology of Charles Manson.
Charles Manson was a professing hippie and as such, finds great solace in bands like The Phish and The Beatles. Calling these bands the animals ‘of the sea and of the Earth’, Manson is very typical of the very people accosted in yesterday’s Outside Lands violence. While the hippies are notorious for laying down and taking a beating, the hallucinogenic combinations of mushrooms and the most exotic of ‘magic hashish’ coursing their bodies and numbing their pain, in retribution they are always cunning and violent, their minds teetering between the boundaries of genius and purely evil madness.
What these new-age EDM raving hipsters must understand is that they are playing with fire. While The Phish may look and sound soft in comparison to their modern eletronica, ear-bleed music counterparts, old hippies are rough and seasoned. They have taken on police and society for decades, ravaging the naive, pliable minds of idealistic college students and other cultures through the decades. Hippies are an eternal threat and when their drugs wear down, are viciously blood-thirsty, revenge addled people. The Hipster Generation may have made its most fateful move with their allegations that The Phish and their phans are corporate sell-outs.
As clearly demonstrated in the infographic above, Hipsters are annoying with their teenaged squeals and depressing adolescent angst. A EDM rave or Black Veil Bride concert is a disguting mixture of excessively applied coming-of-age deodarants, awkwardly angled haircuts and LSD paint on glowsticks with phallic tinglings. While fraternity boys are routinely throbbing gristled and girls secretly impregnated at their hipster raves, the biggest concern from these whiny punks are their penchant for petty violence, rioting, looting and bullying as seen with their attacks of The Phish and innocent child singer Rebecca Black.
But just like their music, the acts of ravers are insignificant. Black Veil Brides, EDM orgies and Deadmau5 taint musking parties are just a here today, gone tomorrow, fad in rebellious teenager’s lifes. Their drug-plagued minds will not recall how a year ago, they called themselves members of the Black Veil Bride army and attacked hippies simply spreading nothing more than funk and bad music at The Phish concert.
But their mistake is that fans of bands like The Phish and The Beatles are in a different league. The music from these bands have a sticking factor because the bands, as evil as they may be, are headlined by actual musicians. The Phish may play obscenely long drug-toking ballads, but it is all natural. There is no summoning of Satan or use of computers necessary to create their music: and just like hippie violence, the music is the real deal. It is hear to torment us for the ages.
So enjoy your age of tyranny, hipsters, you rave loving lunatics. By taking your rioting violence against The Phish phans yesterday, you’re soon to find out the Black Veiled Bride army is nothing more than a bunch of doughboy green-eared boys and girls who still hide behind mommy and daddy’s wealth than face the true harshness of the street. The rough and tumble hippies you’ve made enemies with, so why not wipe off your excessive geisha makeup and call it quits, kiddos? The Phish will corrupt you and as we saw with Charles Manson, the minds of you naive hipster college children are ripe for the picking and manipulation.