• Emo Apocalypse!

    August 16, 2011 8:29 pm 52 comments

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    Brothers and Sisters in Christ, a terrible beckoning has dawned upon me this day. As i sat listening to my favorite christian rock band, Nuns & Roses, i thought about how a lot of these bands continue to tour into their 50s, 60s, and even 70s. It was at this moment that i came to the realization of impending doom. We are all aware of the godless emosexual screamo, metalcore, and hardcore bands that children so misguidedly idolize these days. well, what will happen when THEY continue to tour? these aren’t just misguided high school-college aged kids anymore, these are GROWN MEN on stage singing to OUR CHILDREN about the ‘brutallity’ of relationships. comparing rejection from a girl they like to death and gore, and talking of suicide. When children idolize grown men who preach such things, nothing good can come of it…

    The effect this sort of role-modeling will have on the youth is nothing short of catastrophic. generations of children of screamo roam the streets. they have been taught to fear everyday human interactions, since they are so painful. They possess zero qualities or skills that make them worth anything in society. They cant get jobs, and therefore must mooch off of their parents until their parents either die, or their families become homeless. It is because of this that the global economy declines DRASTICALLY. The government must scramble to bail out companies that are receiving no business from the broke families. In addition to this they must set up programs to train the generations of youth that have been brainwashed by the emosexual music.

    As if the economy wasn’t bad enough, the emosexuals also spread AIDS and other diseases faster then ever before, through the sharing of razors to cut themselves; causing it to become an epidemic of epic proportions. This combined with lack of money causes crime rate to skyrocket. Anarchy breaks out. things become so chaotic at this point there is no going back, mankind becomes nothing but animals again.

    It is for this reason that i believe the Christian church should start making a stand against emosexual music and its followers. before it is too late, they must be stopped. entirely too much is at stake, we need to reach out to local churches and have meetings on what to do. but we must act quickly, before it is too late…

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