Emosexuality is a term which has seen so much use of late that it is often difficult to recall a time when it did not see wide ranging use in the common language. Despite this unwavering fact it has recently come to my attention that many Emosexuals do not fully understand and appreciate their place within this linguistic scaffold, which of course is no surprise given their lack of education, culture, and spiritual guidance. Given the recent unpleasantness we have experienced in our dealings with the Satanic BVD cult, you may have noticed their members (or Juggalos as they like to be called) make the foolish claim “there’s no such word as Emosexual”. Apparently these petulant whelps are “way 2 smart” to fall for our “liez”, because “BVB saved my live so they cant b sitanic”. It is for the benefit and education of this ‘lost generation’ (and that of their rightfully concerned parents) that I will now turn to the topic of Emosexuality, so that they can at least be cognizant of what it is that they are doing when they are damning themselves to Hell.
What is to Blame for Emosexuality?
During previous generations Americans were able to flourish under the strong moral custodianship of great leaders such as Ronald Regan and George W. Bush. Under that firm moral backing of more innocent times we were able to fully develop a stable emotional range; we were happy when we had cause to be, we were sad when something bad happened to us, and we had pride in a job well done. This happy way of life of course began to come unstuck for our children when the Communist Obama Bureau showed up on the scene, and insisted on removing religion from our schools to deny the young ones a shining light to guide them through the darkness.
All children must now be contained in a safe, secular bubble – G** forbid they should receive a kind word from the school chaplain, or skin a knee playing in the creek – they must be kept safe – OBAMASAFE! In this Democrat induced desolate moral vacuum it was supposed by Obama that the children would replace their reverence for their moral custodians with adoration for the graven image of comrade Obama as their State custodian – he was however mistaken. You see the lack of a moral backing in our children’s daily lives also led to a retardation in the emotional development of our society’s most neglected little ones, creating an entire generation of emotionally numb and isolated tykes. It should surprise no one that when sadistic Emosex pop bands began arriving on the scene and spouting their childishly simplistic faux emotional lyrics, that this ‘lost generation’ would be drawn to them like like vacuous moths to a homosex flame – with much the same results.
What is Emosexuality?
Emosexuality encompasses the full breadth of the Emotional Axis of Evil (EAE), and can include anyone from the Twilight bean flicker to the BVD Wicca – it is essentially a form of emotional masturbation. Put simply Emosexuality is the perverse sexual gratification that this ‘lost generation’ of scenesters receive from their emotional vampirism of Satanic transvestite idols. They vicariously and uncritically consume the manufactured and frequently histrionic emotional products offered by bands like BVD and Blood on the Dancefloor – yet like all things manufactured these emotional experiences prove to be ultimately hollow, causing extremely poor emotional regulation among their followers. For instance something as simple as a Christwire community bulletin can cause these children to screech shrill death threats like they were Muslims reading a Danish newspaper.
Under the tutelage of their Emosex demagogues this ‘lost generation’ is only happy when defacing community property (like our Facebook wall), they are only sad when their parents deny them the funds to purchase the latest piece of consumerist scenester garbage, and they are constantly prideful (seemingly at their abuse of the English language). They sass their elders, support one another’s dangerously homosex lifestyle choices, and they lounge everywhere like a smug infestation of cats that all good Christians long to kick.
How Can I Prevent My Child From Becoming an Emosex Loser?
The best possible cure is a good prevention, and the best prevention entails liberal applications of Vitamin G – no, that is not something you can buy in a bottle or a can, I am speaking of course about your child’s personal relationship with God. Comrade Obama may have turned our classrooms into a secular wasteland, but there are many more hours of the day in which conscientious parents are able to compensate for the State’s negligence – remember parents: time spent with a friend is time that could be used for receiving religious instruction! After school and weekends are ideal windows of time during which your child may receive their moral education through Bible study, Sunday school, supervised youth group activities (make sure there is no Catholic affiliation), Christian retreats and family prayer sessions. Parents may also wish to consider homeschooling for their child to avoid any malign secular influence – this may seem like an odious amount of work, but I guarantee that it is much more easily accomplished than ‘praying away the Gay’!
A Message to A Wasted Generation
DVB has not saved your life, they will not save your immortal soul, and they only ‘accept’ you as a viable business model. In short you are being exploited to make some fairly sinister characters obscenely wealthy at the expense of your place in heaven. I know that many of you will take this article as an attack, but it is not. I know that it will make many of you angry, and to you I say your anger is misplaced. What I offer up here is the hard truth on the off-chance that it may open the eyes of even one of your unholy number. I genuinely do not wish to see any of you basting in the juices of a stranger’s Satan scepter in exchange for the wages of sin to feed your black hair dye addiction. Andy Beanstick is not your friend, he does not need you to defend him, and he is probably a necrophiliac. Please ask yourselves just how much of your future you are willing to sell down the river in order to pursue this dangerous and sinful lifestyle just to gain the approval of a painted up muppet who will not be interested in you sexually until you are dead …
Christwire councilors are available around the clock to all young people seeking help – you need but ask.