• How to be Gay and Christian

    August 17, 2011 12:54 pm 97 comments
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    That doesn’t sound doable right? Well, let me be the friend of Dorthy to tell you that it is possible. Don’t let close minded, closeted pastors tell you anything different. This little honey bee has been a practicing Christian since he was playing with Ken and Ken Barbies and no one can tell this fireball of sass, that I’m not able to follow God, simple because I hold hands with men (only if they are handsome, athletic built and with angel blue eyes).

    The Bible is Read Wrong!

    Here are the most commonly used passages used to bash gays.

    “Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.”

    Oh yea, well good thing men don’t have a vagina! How can I lie with another man, the same as a woman, if that man doesn’t have a vagina for me to get my rocks off with? Or does this versus mean that we shouldn’t lie, as in tell a lie? Does this mean it is OK for men to tell little fibs about their “business trips” to hooker filled hotel rooms, but not OK to lie to their overly alpha male friends?

    Also, this versus has been translated so many times to fit ones beliefs, that no one can take it seriously. It is like playing the telephone game in college and the closeted football player makes sure to change it from something funny, to something caveman.

    “There shall be no whore of the daughters of Israel, nor a sodomite of the sons of Israel.”

    Well goodness, I’m screwed here! Not only am I whore (not literally, but my friends say I have the dirtiest little mind), but I’m a sodomite. Wait, this says only if I’m a resident of Israel and last time I checked my drivers license said 5’9, 175lbs and issued in Washington state.

    “No prostitutes are permitted in Israel, either men or women.”

    Honey, I don’t sell this candy. I do take gifts, but it better have 12 cylinders and have my name in pink written across the hood.

    Why is it OK for a drug using prostitute to go into a church and be accepted, but yet a queer and dear Christian like myself should be told I can’t enter a building to worship a God that I love and cherish? Also, how does this versus talk about how the big bad gay man is damned to hell? NEXT!

    Bring Some Gay Humor to Church

    I’m a class clown and also like to bring some fun into my church. One of the things I did when I first came out to my fellow Christians was, I walked into church the day after I came out and said “I’m cured!”. Everyone looked at me with a bizarre look and asked me what I was cured of. I replied simply “Someone must of prayed the gay away!”. They all laughed and said I was silly.

    See, the day I came out, there were some kids who decided to print me out a flyer about a class that another church was holding. This class was a “Pray the Gay Away” prayer group and the kids were passing them out to not only myself, but also the other members of my church. Instead of fussing and throwing a tempter tantrum, I decided to “turn the other cheek” and expose the ridiculousness of this flyer.

    By turning this negative thing into a comical thing, it allowed my fellow Christians to drop their guard and instead of being uncomfortable around me, they felt closer. They saw that if I could make a joke out of it, that they could also just look at it, laugh and move on.

    If anything like this happens to you, just turn it into something less harming. This will disarm those who are trying to attack you and also exposes their stupidity at the same time.

    Not All Churches Are Created Equal!

    Listen here my sweeties. Not all Christians are anti-gay. I’m a part of a church who embraces everyone and believes that God creates us as we are. One thing I find filthy is, just like how the nutty wannabe Christians think all gays are the same (leather wearing sailors, who collect assless chaps. That sounds de-licish), we have people who try to label all Christians as the same. By doing this, you are only spreading the hate and are equally as guilty.

    God tells us not to judge and by that he means for us to not judge even those who judge us. Don’t play their game by lowering your standards and falling into their own pit of confusion and hate.


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    About The Author
    Trystyn Falls Gay, fabulous and Christian!

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