Hipsters are Wiccan occultists who dabble in Trotskyism and drugs. These perverse blights on our society are the products of the ‘Rave Generation’ that plagues our nation’s most homosexual cities to this very day. Like most annoying fads this EDM rave culture will pass but there is an element of Satanism in these people we cannot ignore.
As you’ve learned by now, God was forced to smash the East Coast of America because we’ve allowed a gay-state welcoming Muslim in the White House. Gays are always to blame for the worst of wrath and weather: just like what they caused to fall upon Sodom and Gomorrah.
While Hipsters are homosexual experimentalists, their primary focus is the occult and ravaging the bodies of women they drug at their concerts. They wanted credit for catching God’s attention and are now claiming that they new this weather was going to happen last week.
On website Twitters, a mysterious band going by the name “Brooklyn Hipster” claim that Satan helped the feel the quake last week. Now while this is just most likely another ill-minded hallucination these freaks are always experiencing between their crack-laced shroom droppings and marijuana glue sniff sessions, we have to remember that these neon-goth punks love to throw magic oiuji board orgies while letting quualudes loosen their bodies for Satan to insert his immortal satan scepter into their gaping souls.
My friends, let’s be clear. Hipsters are dangerous. They are like homoless fecal wizards with drug-residue skin. I am not sure if the band members did have a vision of this last week but no matter what you hear, just remeber like most bad weather the gays are to blame.