Shocking: Man Spiffs Poor Cat in Its Hindparts, Iowa Gay Marriage To Blame
Barnstool, Iowa – Devestated cat mews in horror after being the victim of Iowa’s support of gay marriage.
Terrified beyond all belief, an Iowa community has a reality check into the dangers of gay marriage after a man admitted to spiffing a cat in the hind parts.
One of the central themes of the Gay Agenda is that it is natural for a man to mate with a man. Gays advocate that it is normal for a woman to perform diving clamdabble upon another woman. The gubernatorial governments of many states are allowing gays to spread these lies and now a cat has painful orifice exits because of it.
As mentioned time and time again, gays fantasize about pinkened sin holes. They care not the source of the orifice. In the culture of homosexuality, a hole with life is a place to perform a phallic splice. Liberals will argue and say this is not true, but if so, why is the following story of shock and digust coming from a state that allows gay marriage?
The mugshot of a Council Bluff, Iowa, man stares into your face.
Frantic residents of Council Bluffs rallied and spilled into chaos after allegatinos that a man threw a cat from a seventh floor apartment, and his pants were pulled down.
The scene of the accident was chaos. Mothers cried and shielded the eyes of their children, as fathers watched in disbelief, “holding their hands and screaming on their cell phones”, according to one eye witness.
When officers arrived, they purportedly found a gray cat with grievous injuries and barely sustaining its life on the sidewalk.
According to police reports, several other witnesses corroborated the story and said they saw a man with no pants on and throwing a cat from the seventh floor of his apartment.
Martinez is typical Mexican surname and a man identified as Gerardo Martinez answered the door “shirtless with his pants down”, said police officers. They asked the man about hte cat.
The man allegedly admitted to using meth and then claimed his boyfriend threw the cat from the window. After several more interrogating questions from the officer, the man said he attempted to spiff the cat and then threw it out a window.
If convicted, the man will face up to five years on various crime counts, none of which include homosexuality. And that is the problem.
In a society where we do not keep marriage moral, between a man and woman like nature intended, people will naturally start to believe it is okay to twaddle anything else in an open hole. If a man can marry a man, why can a woman not have merry Little Lamb time with her grown sheep in the pasture? What’s to stop Dapper Danny from flinkling his koi in the secret of moonlight?
The problem with homosexuality and gay marriage is that it is againt nature. The purpose of our reproductive organs is two-fold: one, we have our secret parts to expose to our wives, or women their husbands, to build up a bond of marriage.
Women are the helpmeet of man and to serve as an incubator for our children. This responsibility is nearly universal among all advanced animals and therefore, God has invoked speciation to let us know right from wrong. It is right for a married man and woman to procreate and without genetic errors, this will occur.
But no matter how many times to bottom’s up boys ravage each other in the deepest throes of Astrogliding release, they shall never produce a baby from all their sin sloshes of devil’s DNA and petroleum shame. Two Sally Scissors sliding and sighing until their sumptuous bodies all over each other, shivering and clenching until the release of sinful pleasure, shall never find a baby magically growing in their wombs. Lesbians would love to believe they had the power of Oogenesis, but it is not so.
Friends, homosexality is the brainchild of Satan. His goal is to get us to waste our gift of life on perversion, so the numbers of moral households will rise and homosexual revelry will prevail. Look at the face of the cute kitten, so shocked that we are not protecing the innocent from the behaviors bred by homo-supporting law.
I would like to see the stats, because I bet in New York there is now a decrease of stray cats, because they are all hiding in dark corners and alleys, trying to avoid the lustful eyes of liberals who are buying into the anti-nature, decency laws that go hand in hand with combatting the Federal Marriage Protection Act.
Remember, Satan loves a cheerful sinner, so let’s make him sad by protecting all these kittens and standing up for Heterosexual Marriage Legislation in your state.
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Adam Nelson
9:48 pm
“Women are the helpmeet of man and to serve as an incubator for our children.”
Women contribute 50% of genetic material to the fetus; thus we are more than just “incubators”.
“Lesbians would love to believe they had the power of Oogenesis, but it is not so.”
Oogenesis means the production of eggs. All women, lesbians included, are born with eggs.
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9:51 pm
Adam,
I think someone must be very, very ill to perform these kinds of acts on of all things, a cat. Cat feces is riddled with diabiologic hormonal signals to other cats and animals. The last laugh is on this man. He did not consider that having that stench on his pee-pee means it will have to wear off over time while he is incarcerated. He is doomed to be a ‘catcher’ in prison, most likely to a cat loving, 275lb ‘pitcher’ with rough hands, teardrop tattoo and ripped coveralls.
The Lord has given even the least of His creatures the means to defend themselves and serve justice. Amen and praise.
Kind regards,
BB
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9:51 pm
“Look at the face of the cute kitten, so shocked that we are not protecing the innocent from the behaviors bred by homo-supporting law.”
But according to you, cats are nothing but vermin, right?
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9:54 pm
The gays sure do love the bestiality. What a shame.
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10:01 pm
No they don’t.
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5:31 pm
Not really.
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10:05 pm
I think it is disgusting that the unborn babies didn’t have the chance to have a real mother. This man should be charged with pre-fetal homocide.
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2:59 am
I agree, Blanche, wasting his baby juice on the varmint that is cats, what a shame.
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10:08 pm
How terrifying! This is exactly why gay marriage legislation is destroying humanity.
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10:16 pm
You DO realize, so you not, that most people are sharing this because it looks like another story from “The Onion”. If gays are more likely to fuck cats up their asses then why aren’t hetero men more likely to fuck pusses up their vaginas? Really stupid story.
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10:21 pm
Leta,
I don’t know if I’ve ever read a more inaccurate or uneducated question in all my years. Normal people don’t do things like this, that is why they are normal.
Kind regards,
BB
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10:28 pm
noone is normal we are all unique saying everyone should act the same is the beggining of a dictator
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10:32 pm
You would have the US, the greatest country on earth, beggning at the feet of a dictator. You liberals and your Bandanna Republic!
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10:41 pm
not what i said anyone who trys to force everyone to act the same is becoming a dictator i despise those people and treat them like treat bullys
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3:19 am
Cocaine is not a good drug for you to take.
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10:34 pm
The homogays are nefarious creatures they will rape anyone and anything.
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10:58 pm
So Adam, you hate cats with a seething fury, yet when one is harmed by an individual that’s apart of a group you loath (read: not Conservative Christian), you will basically call for the hanging of the individual, AND say that it’s SOLELY because that the person isn’t a Conservative Christian, that it happened in the first place.
Do you just have no concept of following what the fuck you’re saying? You’ve admitted to stuffing cats inside of backpacks before and being sober while doing so, yet when a man who’s clearly intoxicated throws one out of a wind, that just crosses the line for you! Oh, and then you go and say ‘he’s gay so that’s why he did it’. And from what I can, you aren’t using the word ‘spiff’ correctly. Even better, THE DUDE WASN’T EVEN GAY! He didn’t have a boyfriend, he himself was the one who threw the cat out of the window after he tried to fuck it (and that’s what I mean about you using the word spiff incorrectly; it does NOT, I repeat, NOT mean sex).
So just to recap:
There was only one guy involved.
He was on meth which caused him to try to fuck his cat and then throw it out the window.
You’re saying it was two guys, and that the cat was thrown out not because one guy was high or whatever, but because he was gay. Do you ever listen to yourself? Do you just instantly hear of a crime committed, and without rhyme or reason instantly assume the criminals are gay, EVEN IF THERE’S ONLY ONE FUCKING PERSON INVOLVED?!
My god you’re retarded. I mean it, you’re absolutely fucking retarded. You will openly admit to either torturing or wanting to torture animals or people, yet when confronted with the fact that you’re a terrible person because of it, you’ll completely deny everything you’ve said! Oh, but the moment someone does something fucked up because they literally aren’t thinking straight, you’ll blame the homosexual or liberal community for the actions of this one person. Have you never heard of a fucking blanket statement? Oh, and THEN you have the nerve to say that any Christian who commits some crime isn’t a Christian at ALL, like you’re some kind of fucking shining example of what a human being is supposed to be, better than God, and fuck the person who makes a mistake, they’re going to Hell because you said so! You’re nothing but a low-brow, cowardly, egotistical, racist, sexist, stupid, rude, ignorant, arrogant, fucking ass wipe who’s a murderer waiting to happen, and then you’ll say you did it in the name of God! You’ll abuse any position of power you have, and you think you can just lord over everyone because you think you’re some kind of god-damn special snowflake. Well guess what princess, THE WORLD DOESN’T BEND TO YOUR WILL! The people you hate so much are the ones who decide how things are handled, and you think that the moment someone disagrees with you, that they’re just insane and should be locked away in a mental institution. Why? Because assholes like you can’t stand the thought of people being different. You think that everyone has to be just like you in order for society to work, right down to the fucking gender and skin color, and you think lesser of all other kinds of people. Anything else in your mind is nothing more than a disease and you think it needs to be eradicated. You have this BELIEF that you are the only human being that’s actually worthy of anything, and that all others are nothing more than tools for you to use. That is, unless they’re just like you, and you decide that rather than think outside of the box, that anything different is ‘bad’. Evolution? Goes against an ancient book written by morons. Women’s rights? Goes against an ancient book written by sexist pigs. Other races? SOMEHOW an insult to God. The list just goes on and on and on and FUCKING ON.
So in case you didn’t read all of that, here’s the short version: I hate you and everything you believe in. You aren’t an actual Christian, you’re nothing more than the devil himself who’s tricked himself into thinking that evil is good and vice versa.
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8:01 am
You do not know how to read. Adam’s article and the article he cross-referenced, and this liberal article from MSNBC http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/44023562/ns/local_news-omaha_ne/ prove that the man who did this was a gay. Iowa also allows gay marriage. It is not a coincidence.
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3:27 pm
Apparently you don’t know how to define terms. Homosexual does NOT, I repeat NOT, and once more for good measure since you’re stupid, NOT mean pedophilia or bestiality.
Oh, and apparently YOU can’t read, he changed his story TWICE, FURTHER proving that Adam’s a lying bastard. He said he didn’t have a cat, then he said his boyfriend did it, then he finally admitted to doing it, ALL of it. Even IF the guy is gay, how the fuck does that mean that ALL gay people are like that? Do you honestly think that one person is enough of an example to condemn an ENTIRE FUCKING GROUP? Let’s take you for instance; I know a black guy who robbed a store, does that make all black people thieves? I know a Christian who killed someone, does that make all Christians killers? According to your logic it does, but does that make any sense? If not, then you have to admit that your line of thinking is FALSE.
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3:22 am
What are you even talking about. This article is about a purportedly gay man who rogered a cat because Iowa allows gay marriage. Why are you so offended by facts?
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2:32 pm
“a purportedly gay man who rogered a cat because Iowa allows gay marriage.”
So men are cats? Because I don’t see why a man who is attracted to other men would want to have sex with a cat unless the cat was actually another human male.
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6:28 pm
Tyson tells me you go to Mount Ida? Do they teach English reading comprehension there?
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11:43 pm
I think that it’s possible I disagreed with everything in this article. I’m i highschool and stumbled across this site by accident after looking up the SPAM that is your article on Lady Gaga being dead. Women aren’t incubators, they are real people. If they want to be lesbian or if a man wants to be gay, what’s it to you to be shitting yourself over their sex life? I agree completely with L.N. You, and whoever beleves this crap, is a total and complete idiot, and you’re adding to the list of reasons that a MINOR is and ATHEIST! I may believe in a supreme being, but the reason he isn’t curing AIDS or saving th starving kids in Africa is because ignorant assholes like you are fucking up the world. Don’t bother replying to this, because I’m never coming to this site again. You aren’t the norm in this society. Everyone normal is being actually open-minded, but that’s a new concept to you, isn’t it? You freaks aren’t right. You’re homophobic, and even your women are sexist.
I send a big FUCK YOU. You’re poisoning your children with this shit. I’M LITERALLY ABOUT TO PUKE.
Good bye. I hope I never meet an asshole like you in real life.
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2:27 pm
How do we know that the cat wasn’t a female and was being vaginally raped by a heterosexual man?
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2:33 pm
“The man allegedly admitted to using meth and then claimed his boyfriend”
Gay
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2:45 pm
The article that Adam linked to mentioned nothing about a boyfriend.
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2:54 pm
From: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/2011/08/06/2011-08-06_iowa_man_arrested_after_allegedly_having_sex_with_cat_throwing_it_out_the_window.html?r=news
“After denying he had a cat, Martinez told cops he had been using meth. Then he tried to pin the cat’s death on his boyfriend, before fessing up that he was the one who killed the animal.”
GAY
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3:31 pm
“before fessing up that he was the one who killed the animal.”
He could’ve said he had a boyfriend just to throw off suspicion or even cause controversy over homosexuals even moreso.
And do explain how it even matters in the end if all gay people are not alike?
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5:48 pm
No! No! christians are’nt allowed to use cats! Bad Christians!
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6:20 pm
He probably fucked the cat cause of meth not cause he’s not normal. and the only pussy you should fuck is a woman’s pussy hehe aaalright
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11:07 pm
Does spiff mean what I fear that it means?
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8:59 am
This nothing weird
I love a good piece of pussy every now and then. Just because he said he had a boyfriend doesn’t make him gay either. Everyone knows there are a few rules that allow you to fuck a guy and not be gay…
1. If you don’t look down you’re not gay.
2. If you’re in prison or jail(no matter how long you’re in for).
3.As long as you’re the one “pitching” not “catching” you’re not gay.
4.You can get head as long as you keep saying ” It’s a hot blonde sucking me off. It’s a hot blonde sucking me off…”
Lastly maybe he’s not gay at all maybe his boyfriend is. You people just don’t know for sure.
Now back to getting some pussy… Everyonr knoes if there is grass on the field play ball, and that was one hairy pusy in the picture. If anyone knows if she or he( doesn’t matter to me) is aviliable post it here plaese. I’d love sloppy seconds with that sweet little pussy.
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10:24 pm
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