• Texas Governor Rick Perry Signs Gay Marriage Ban, Saves New York from Complete Hurricane Irene Destruction

    August 28, 2011 4:13 pm 68 comments
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    Fresh and energized, Republican Presidential Candidate Rick Perry motions to cheering fans as he signs a bill that can lead to a federal ban of gay marriage in every state.

    Homosexual politicans like to pretend that New York’s recent mistake of allowing gays to get married signifies a national momentum and desire for gays to be wed in holy matrimony. How can there be anything holy about a man bending a man over at the waist, throwing his head back in debauchery and playing liquid intestinal plumber. Lesbians are no better and equally depraved with their coital clamdabbling and spread of myriad diseases.  It is no coincidence that there is a 43% higher incidence of STD among these raunchy, depraved and unfaithful same sex couples.

    Any logical American knows that it is not natural for gays to exist. If homosexuality where natural, then a man would be able to have backside business with his husband double and create a sin child. Lesbians would have double pregnancies after a night of unholy canoodling. But this is not the case. It takes one man and one woman to create a child. That is all the proof we need to know that a law must exist to protect marriage from these homosexual perverts.

    And that is why God has given us Governor Rick Perry, the leader for American President 2012.  In an act of bold patriotism and duty, Rick Perry has signed into law the groundwork for destroying gay marriage, nationwide.   Rick Perry realizes that just like alcoholism, homosexuality is a disease of the mind caused by poor life choices.  The facts of the American Medical Association and Mayo Clinic cannot be denied.

    Governor Perry proved already his ability to be the president, the Wise Shephard who tends to all American states and the lesser countries.  Rick Perry is from Texas, but he knew that a big, grandiose display of America’s dedication to Biblical law and Constitution had to be shown.  Perry knew that with New York being destroyed, the rest of America would suffer a recession and third-world calamity.

    With that, he signed what we have needed for a long time.  A Federal Gay Marriage Ban Act.    The majority of US states still refuse to allow gay marriage to take place, beacuse it is disgusting, is dangerous for children and spreads disease.  Gay marriage destroys local economies.  Gay marriage is banned by the Bible because gays cannot be Christians and therefore cannot truly love their country or God.

    This gay marriage ban gives America the right to prosecute and deny homosexuals marriage, eternally.  Despite what laws a state may pass, gays will not be allowed to marry. When hearing this news and seeing Rick Perry sign this pledge, God immediately reduced Hurricane Irene from a Category 3 to a Category 1.  New York only received a slap on the wrist because Rick Perry is a good Christian and is fighting to keep America pure.

    Good friends, Satan wants us all to be mesmerized by his master dingle.  He tries to make homosexuals seem lighthearted and funny, the snarky people at the office and the glitzy, silly people on television sitcoms.  He’s used the soft, funny faces of the beautiful Ellen Degeneres and her trophy wife Portia Rose to make lesbianism a gentle household breakfast topic for housewives and husbands home sick for the day from work.

    There is no honor in this.  It is all a glam rock trick to distract us with flashy lights and a big show, when underneath is just the poor, dangerous music of racoon faced musicans like Veiled Black Brides and Anonymous Alexandria Alcoholics, two EDM tweeny homogay emosexual bands that are just as dangerous as gay married.

    We must stop this nasty trend of gays trying to make their lifestyle look popular and cool.  Our children are fawning over homosexual bands and we have geriatrics in New York playing meat locker slaptime with each other’s backsides, putting the icing on the cake for their ‘marriage’.  Let’s support Rick Perry and continue to support this federal gay marriage ban.   When we sign this into law, America’s economy will take off and we will again be the most favored nation upon Earth, as prophesied in the Bible.

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    About The Author
    Reverend Clyde H. Higgins You're all sinners in the hands of an angry God, a spider dangling over the burning flames of hell and only protected by one silk thread. God has scissors ready and hates those who spin webs of sin.

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