Why Dogs Are Better Than Cats
Why Dogs Are Better Than Cats
-Susan B. Xenu
Unfortunately I have been getting drawn deeper and deeper into the sinful cesspit that is facebook. I have an account there since it is the most used social website in the world. Where better to get to the sinful souls that so desperately need to be saved?
But unfortunately my articles on dangerous emosexual bands have brought me into conflict with facebook bound angry emosexuals. My fan page was temporarily taken over by a horde of raging prepubescent girls with evil comments that read like text messages from a drunk hippie. My regular account is inundated from friend requests from underage emos that just want to threaten violence. To make it worse countless pro-emosexual and hate groups geared at me have popped up. Luckily yesterday one of my brave christian warriors was able to gain control of one of these vile groups and turned it into a pro Susan event.
Despite the dark eyes this one will never be an emo
To make it worse I have homogay lesbians propositioning me. Alas all of this conflict has taken it out of me. Today one of my brothers tried to brighten my day by offering to post kitten pictures for me.
I instantly scolded him. He obviously does not read Christwire often enough. If you read our holy page as often as you should (and as Christ commands) you would know that cats are evil. We have had countless articles citing them as hell spawn and wiccan familiars. A true Christwire reader knows that the dog is the favored pet of a christly person.
Unlike dogs, cat’s are known to suck the life from babies.
WHY DOGS ARE BETTER
Cats are aloof unloving animals. They only care about you when you have food or play toy treats to offer. And when you die they eat you, a real threat for an 81 year old. Yet dogs offer unconditional love, just as Jesus Christ does. When you come home they come to the door to lick you and only want a vigorous ear scratching.
As far as I know there is only one recorded instance of a cat chasing off a burglar. But dogs are often used to chase off intruders. They are used by countless handicapped people with special needs, they are used for treatment for emotionally and psychologically impaired and are used as service dogs for soldiers, Police and Security.
Every day brave dogs help soldiers fight terrorism, in ways few would imagine.
If there is any doubt of their pure love go to youtube and look for videos of returning soldiers being greeted by their beloved canine pet friends.
Here are a couple of great examples:
Seeing my dog the day I got back from Afghanistan
Dog (Molly) Sees Mom, Just Home From Afghanistan
Dog hugs a soldier returning home!
But most touching is the story of Petty Officer Jon Tumilson. Tumilson, 35, was killed in the major U.S. helicopter crash in Afghanistan this month. At his funeral he was remembered by approximately 1,500 mourners, including his loyal Labrador retriever Hawkeye. The dog refused to leave his side during the funeral earlier this week in Rockford, Iowa. A wonderful tribute video can be seen here.
The dog of slain Petty Officer Jon Tumilson refused to leave his side during the Navy SEAL’s funeral earlier this week in Rockford, Iowa. The heartbreaking photo taken by his cousin, Lisa Pembleton, shows Tumilson’s dog Hawkeye lying by the casket. (via The Daily Treat: Animal Planet)
I ask you, would a cat do that? No…It would stay at home and get high on drugs and listen to emo music.
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Susan B. Xenu
Although over 80 years old, she is still a woman of unparalleled intellect and passion. She brings this spiritual fire to every aspect of her life. "Sister Susan" joined our staff in 2011 and has a fiery writing style on a diverse set of topics. A widow she lives in Atlanta, Ga and has been active in her church for over seven decades! You can now add her on Facebook or Twitter. Also read her Personal Blog.
6:00 pm
Have you forgotten that Blanche has a cat? Oh right, I forgot, you guys go by the “do as I say, not as I do” rule.
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6:03 pm
Our rule is “Do as God says.” In your case, it’s “Do as God says, and shut the hell up.”
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6:35 pm
So by having a cat Blanche is doing what god tells her to do? So then cats are okay in god’s mind? If cats are okay with god why are there so many articles against them on this site? Are you daring to defy god when he’s very clearly given cats the thumbs-up?
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6:44 pm
Claire is that your cat in that video?
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7:21 pm
Yes, that’s my sweet little Charlie girl.
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6:51 pm
Quiet shameful one.
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9:35 am
Why would one member of our community owning a cat make any difference in God’s opinion? Blanche may own and love her cat, and God may hate Blanche’s cat, and all of this is possible even while allowing Blanche to be a godly woman.
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3:15 am
Claire,
Claire, Claire, Claire. People don’t “have” or “own” cats. You know this. Cats are cats. We can only be their guardians.
The cat that lives with us plays with the dog and prays before meals. We’ve tried to cure him from cheating at cards. Animals like people are not disposable things. We must help them grow in faith and love.
Sister Susan has a different viewpoint here that seems to work for her.
BB
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6:43 pm
Claire some christians have homogay children and mexican yard workers, just because someone has a cat does not mean they necesarilly approve of it.
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7:21 pm
Susan, shut your wrinkled old trap.
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7:27 pm
By the way, there’s a difference between having a gay child who you don’t approve of and having a cat who you don’t approve of. It’s a lot harder for a parent to disown a “deviant” child than it is for a woman who thinks cats are evil incarnate to surrender her cat to a shelter.
Blanche is nothing but a hypocrite for denouncing cats yet living with one herself.
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11:10 pm
Oh good…… It..is… Claire…
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11:48 pm
I thought it had went away…but it is back…
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6:58 pm
Susan, I have to agree with your ancient ass on this one. I love me some pussy but I HATE cats.
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11:56 pm
your just as rascist as the slave owners
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4:32 pm
Oh goodie, look everyone, the little gay ass emo that is pissed off that some old ass bitch talked smack about some band of cross dressing, tune deaf, cock suckers is back. Shut your fucking mouth emo. Or you wont have to cut yourself.
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11:50 pm
oh, look eveeryone, the fucked-up black person who thinks hes doing his race a favour by being a troll but is only making them look bad is back. Watch out for a bunch of fucked up extremist ideas in the next couple months
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7:49 pm
Dear christwire,
i would strongly suggest to take some weed and some medication to relieve u of the “monsters” in ur head
-fuck u by
Alison Manson
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10:21 pm
Why do you hate dogs Alison?
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11:49 pm
I don’t I just hate u ppl, I have champion blood line dogs atotal of 12 and 1 lazy bulldog but I also have my girlfriends 2 cats that get along just fine with the others. I hbe alot of animals and alot of room so I’m happy with wat I got. So I don’t hate them I just hate u guys
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12:12 am
you are deeply disturbed.
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12:20 am
no, your hallucinating with your christian ideology. The fact that some invisible being walks the earth, its just so ridicules, so obscene, that its just hilarious
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12:24 am
No I’m alison and I’m just me and ppl love me for me jmmean look I’m married to 22 ppl now!
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4:34 pm
married to 22 people? What the fuck are you? Mormon?
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10:30 pm
Na all the hot girls and the cute guys I meet here I “marry” per say
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3:41 pm
Dogs, not part of the food chain so completely unnecessary creatures. Apart from a few guide and sniffer dogs, the rest could be done away with. Cleaner sidewalks for one thing, and isn’t cleanliness next to godliness??
*sniggers like Mutley*
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10:53 pm
I had to buy one of these just so I could have a dog, but make think believe it is a cat.
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10:54 pm
I mean, to make Claire believe it is a cat. Sorry.
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11:49 pm
shes too stupid to know the difference
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11:57 pm
look whos talking, near-sighted wrinkle face
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12:59 pm
I’m too stupid? Gee Susan, that’s such a contradiction to what you wrote in your emails to me, where you claimed you wanted to be my “friend” and that you “cared” for me, and all that other bullshit.
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12:56 pm
Sorry, but fennec foxes look nothing like cats.
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2:01 am
You forgot about the part where dog’s crap all over the house and eat everything.
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7:51 am
Lady you need professional help. Maybe Oprah can help you.
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10:51 am
dear christwire,
i have 3 dogs and one cat, and she’s all black. my mom is a die-hard full on christian, and she doesn’t believe that what this site is trying to do is right. she, and i, believe that God accepts EVERYONE, but not their lifestyle. i’ve grown up on that, and guess what, i’m a Christian too. I love cats, and they’re not evil. it does not say ANYWHERE in the bible that cats are hellspawn, or satanic creatures. if they were, God wouldn’t have created them in the first place.
get your facts straight.
God bless,
Lexi
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11:23 am
Puppies are sooooo cute!
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12:58 pm
Kittens are sooooo cute!
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3:51 pm
I have to say, I think the Koreans have the right idea when it comes to dogs – delicious in a stew, or sautéed with some shallots and served with sticky rice and Kim Chee! I recommend a nice Burgundy to wash it down with! What better way to praise god than a fine meal of canine and a drop of the grape!!!
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3:37 pm
Slightly flawed logic all around. If, as you claim, god is omnipotent, and created everything, then he must have created cats too. And gays for that matter. Doesn’t quite make sense, does it?
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4:40 pm
Wow, you people are fucked up. This old bitch wrote a story about how she fucking likes dogs and you are still jumping down her throat.
I don’t agree with most of what these crackers say, but in life, you have to find common ground. Or you just look like a bunch of fucking idiots.
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6:18 pm
Awww suie baby you talking about me. Thanks doll. Hey I got a cat for you to play with.
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8:14 pm
Babes so old couldve been my great grandma .. Oh the unholy things we could do.. You could be my sweet sweet sugar mama .. Marry me baby your old granny skin between me and the sheets. I never met a chick like like you oh so sweet. Come on dearest scream my name when I’m down on you under the sheets. Let’s go straight to hell together I promise it will be fun trying to get there.
My poem to the sweet sexy Susan .. Hugs and licks on the clit <3
forever yours Tessie poo
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10:27 pm
Btw thanks for the shout out babes .. Im so happy you got my other post.. The shout out let’s me know you really do care ..when can we meet Im more than welling to give you my celly num. So. We can get this thing rolling ..
Love your sweet little naughty angel Tessie
Btw I’m 18 n looking for miss bag of bones to teach me a think or two
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9:15 am
Umm. So god has created cats so that we can hate them and belvedere then to be evil? I have 6 cats, and yet I am still christian. One of my cats is sleeping on the computer right now, and I know she will come and sit with me if I want her to.
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4:02 pm
“Cats are aloof, unloving animals.”
My CAT and dog both come to me and comfort me when I am upset. Yeah, that sounds SO aloof and unloving.
Btw, my cat knows “sit,” “stay,” and “come.”
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