• Apple Unveils Emotional Phones (eMO Phone)

    September 10, 2011 5:48 am 24 comments
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    Abe

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    In the 60s, we had hippies. During the 70s, jive turkey street punks and disco queen addicts. During Reagan’s 80s the moral majority took route in America’s high schools, but the punk rockers took hold once again in the late 80s through early 90s. Now in Obama’s dire days of the aughts, we have a new, dangerous high school trend. Emos.

    Emos are children who believe they are the legacy of Vlad Tepes. These children believe they are little Twilight vampires and have a fetish for fake teeth and blood letting ceremonies, learned from ‘Vampirism for Dummies’ books they buy at their cult stores like Twilight and Borders. What’s scarier is that 58% of people who have seen JRK Tolkien’s Twilight series more than once have a 4/5 chance of becoming addicted to the taste of human blood.

    This phenomena has scared many parents and yet, this dark, macabre culture of tight pants and unisexually applied makeups are being exploited by corporate executives. The latest offense to children comes from Apple who is releasing an ‘eMO phone’ to help these vile rabies spreaders talk to each other in emosexual methods.

    The phone helps them ‘imitate hand holding, kissing’ so even when you ground them to their rooms, they can bypass your parental authority and play hanky panky with the same mascara faced gender! This phones are from the communist apple company and you know that the two Steves are Soviet Trotsky loving radicals.

    Look at this video and ban the product from your home, parents.


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    About The Author
    Abe If you don't like what you just read here you can just get out of my country. Now how about that smart-alack. Follow me on twitters. Poke me as your New Friend on Facebook!!

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