• Arise, Ronald Reagan Arise!

    September 21, 2011 5:32 pm 19 comments
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  • In the 1980′s when my boys were small children they loved G.I. Joes. Unlike most of todays effeminate homogay agenda toys, G.I. Joes taught a great lesson. They were an elite group of American soldiers. They were the specialist of special forces and they had to be, to fight the worlds greatest enemy. Fundamentalist Islamic terrorists.

    I grew up with G.I. Joe in the 1960′s, and was more than happy to buy my boys all of the little 3 inch tall heroes that I could. I wanted them to know that fighting for our country was an honor. They loved watching the cartoon that came on as well. It was pretty good, at times I would watch it myself. I remember one episode where the G.I. Joes enemy known as Cobra Starship decided to genetically create their own new leader. They traveled around the world taking DNA from some of the worlds most famous, dangerous, and blood thirsty dead leaders. Obviously at the time it was all cartoon science fiction.


    Cobra Starships leader Serpentor.

    But we live in a different world now. Today we live in a world where devil scientists have learned how to take DNA from animals and put it into other animals. They have made kittens that glow, created sperm from women, and bioengineers at the J. Craig Venter Institute have created the first self-replicating, synthetically designed life! Scientists are drunk on science and are stealing the secrets of the Almighty and perverting them for their own devilish ends.

    But this got me thinking last week when I was watching the Republican Presidential Debates. I…I don’t…I…I hate them. I hate them all! I know it is wrong to hate. I am a minister. I know what the Bible says. But I hate them. They are all worthless. I was thinking Rick Perry might not be so bad until I read Susan B. Xenu’s article about him last week. I have read the articles about Ron Paul who wants to live in a cave and bow hunt mastodons all day. Michele Bachman doesn’t look so bad but let’s be honest. She is a woman. And thus has no position to tell men how things are going to be. Everytime I see Hilary Clinton going to some Terrorist nation or to China. I think to myself, “they have no respect for us. We want them to listen to what we have to say and we send a woman to say it?”

    So what are we going to do as a nation? Have four more years of the liberal socialist Kenyan? Dear lord in heaven I hope not. But what else are we going to do? This is where I remembered that J.I. Joe episode. We can use science to bring Ronald Reagan back! We can use that twisted science against those vile scientists!

    The problem is that he can’t be president again, and by now he is most likely a pile of mush and bone. We also cant clone him as the new being would have to be 35 years old before it can be President. So what to do?

    Here is where the real science comes in. Rick Perry is already the front runner. He is a handsome man and physically imposing. Just look at those pictures of him threatening the poor elderly Ron Paul. But we really don’t want him to be president. Not a man that threatens the elderly. Unless of course they are Chinese, Terrorists, of Atheists.

    So what we must do is to exhume America’s greatest President Ronald Reagan, we then extract some of his DNA, Christian Scientists clone his brain. We then easily place that brain into the hollow head of Texas Governor Rick Perry! Perry becomes president and 8 years later we take Reagan’s brain out of host Rick Perry and put it into the next Republican.

    Maybe Jeb Bush will be ready by then.

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    About The Author
    Chuck D. Finley Brother Chuck is the Minister of The First Tyranical Church of Jesus in Roswell Ga. He is also a proud husband and father.

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