Adam Lamberg, the Father of Modern Emosexuality Eyes squinted in homosexually induced conjunctivitis of the eye, like a newborn escaping a musky birth canal emosexuals have their red, crack-bugged eyes streaked with the dark mascara masks of a gonorrhea-toking raccoon. The father of the modern emosexual movement is Adam Lamberg, the inspiration source of the new brand of ‘glam’ rock bands like Black Veiled Brides who copycat older, dangerous bands like The Darkness, My Chemically Romance and Reliant K (also a raver party drug of potassium, banana syrups and opiates).
My Chemically Romance is a cult band of mascara fetishists, slowly enabling corruption of your child’s mind with meth-laced makeup packets being sold at dangerous stores like Hot Topic and Urban Outfitters for the black punks. These devil serpents spit lyrics of vile hate and horrible, off-key noises that mushes the simple minds of their young college-aged fans.
The statistics are alarming. Fans of MCR are 5 times more likely to suffer from psychopathic delusions, usually a result of the Satanic brainwashing colluding with all the illegal chemicals imbibed at their little fruit musked emosexual raver parties. Little do parents know the tragic events that take place at a MCR raver event. I’m here to tell you the dirty, lurid details without reservation.
My Chemically Romance started as a group of sloven Oriental fraternity friends from the Fullerton State University of California. The two Asian brothers that lead the house, Jerald and Mikey Wu, were chemists and specialized in the creation of pharmaceutical-grade drugs. Outside their professor’s supervision, these two black-leather afficianodos created a master drug called “Chemical Romance”.
Jellied Chemical Romance Also called ‘Her Royal’s Romantic Chemical Jelly” on the street, Chemical Romance is a dangerous party drug with origins in the Southern California bedroom community of Fullerton.The fruit-flavored drug packs the intoxicating punch of 100 proof Everclear with the hallucinogenic lust-inducing desires from Quaalude-smeared Ecstasy droplets, all flavored with grape, orange or liquid pineapple passion flavorings. These juicy jelly-bean street drugs taste like candy and cause any female whose bodies have taken them to give into the moist primal, gyrating passions, forcefully pulling any male into them and not releasing until coital exhaustion is fully reached.
The Wu brothers debuted the drugs at one of their illegal “Skittle Raves” parties in early 2001 and it was unfortunately a big hit. Coming in flavors like Gushing Grape, Ogling Orange, Pinky Sally’s Secret and the most dangerous Olive’s Cucbumer Oil and Sprinkled Licorice Blacks, women found the drugs to taste great and make them feel corporally aggressive.
The men loved the nasty, mindbending effects the drug had on female-party goers. Compliant sodomy and mouth-sex acts were on the rise, pregnancy-inducing acts, unprecedented, and the female party-goers wanted more.
Chemical Romance is a street drug that looks like jelly-beans and is now a centerpiece drug for the raver community.
Now with an addicted audience, the Wu brothers sought to capitalize by creating a music scene to go with their new party drug. Being Asians and adept at syncing line graphs to electrical noise on the primitive Audacity sound filter program, the brothers quickly realized the easiest genre of ‘music’ to create was electronic drummed and bassed dubstep.
The band initially formed under the name My Chemically Induced Romance, a play on the raunchy affections inspired by all the drugs present at their house raves. Many early fans of the band stated the name was too scientific, so the band shortened it to My Chemically Romance, their stage-name to this very day.
Royal Jelly, The MCR Rave Party Drug of Choice The “Royal Jelly” of the Chemical Romance street name is a play on this drug making female users like a harlot Queen Bee, not satisfied until their Quaalude-plied sinholes are filled with the muskiest of liquid sins. The drug has little effect on male users, other than addiction to horrible music and drastic increase of acute hunger. The use of Jelly Chemical Romance and the My Chemically Romance electronic dubstep music is dangerously widespread, as seen in this footage of His Highness Prince Harry drenched in LSD wetted sins and partying with fellow ravers at a Jelly Belly MCR Carnival Rave in Brighton yard. Over 48 counts of unabashed nudity and 35 cases of public sodomy by glowstick crack-tinkled LCD lights were reported to Camden yard after the event.
Prince Harry dives into tepid pool of Uncle Flipper’s Tweetie Liquid ecstasy, the dangerous LSD compound that renders the mind unto the sexual passions of a mythical twaddling satyr in the passionate heats of Eurydice. The rave was a satyr sodomy fest, one that even the hardened yes of Hades would not dare look. The raving event is marked as one of the most lurid embarassments for the royal family, yet, the MCR fans do not care.
The gut-wrenching statistics associated with MCR raves scare any decent parents:
- 3/5 females who attend a rave are slutty legspreaders. This contributes to the 68% infection rate of STD in children aged 18 – 25 in America. The correlation is clear. The more ravers, the more STD spread.
- Abortion tents are commonplace at the raves, the massive amouts of illegal Oxycontin serving as the pain meds for the procedures conducted by dropout med students at best.
- Chemically Overloading - The most hardened ravers at an MCR rave go into ‘chemically overloading’ sessions, where their friends watch them do drugs until they pass out. The body of any person who has CO’d is free to use for any perversion, by rave cultural standards. These events account for most of the spread of disease and pregnancy so prevalent at these MCR parties.
- Musk tainting the gootch and throbbing gristles are performed, much as seen at traditional EDM events.
The most terrifying thing about the My Chemically Romance fans is they have organized into little sects that are infiltrating our nation’s schools. They are calling themselves the My Chemically Romance Army and they are everywhere. If you see your young college son is masking his face up like a blind raccoon, bragging about kissing other men on his Facebook wall posts then he is probably an exmosexual MCR Army homo.
These punks like music by Queen and all fantasy about getting a twiddle rompus with their godking Adam Lamberg, the homosexual vessel of Freddy Mercury’s lusty demon. If you find your girl is always eating fruity snacks and listening to horrible electronic screamo noises on her itunes cassette player, be warned! She is a whore harpie!
She is addicted to those Jelly Beans and only wants every man to give her a royal staff in her secret parts! Just like the boys, her face will be sharpied all over and she will wear all black, broody gothic emocore clothing. She will write on her Facebook wall all this emotional things and make sappy videos on YouTube. Just go Google her youtube account on her desktop searches and then see all the lame videos of her crying about her MCR Raver parties at college. Pull her home, parents, and put the little jezebel into psychotherapy.
No person in their right mind can listen to My Chemically Romance for more than 2 minutes and not be nauseated by the horrible musical noise. It is like nails on the chalkboard with the added splendor of sulfur scents dry rubbing your olfactory nerve. That means it stinks for you embiciles out there!
This entire MCR Raver cult must go down in history as a drug-addled community of punk college kids who need to grow up and face the real world. Get off your drugs because America doesn’t need anymore crack-wombed Obama mommas popping up meth-faced babies they cannot take care of. Stop with your mascara LSD orgies you punk gothosexual emos. You have been warned!
Parents, if your child has any of the warning signs, immediately ground them and when they complain that they are in college and you can’t, laugh in their face and tell them have fun being a non-college degree having mall worker when you pull their tuition, health insurance and keys from their car. They will fall in line like the little dependent punks they are.