• Mad Scientists Create Feline Abomination to Cure Homogays

    September 13, 2011 4:13 pm 20 comments

    Mad Scientists Create Feline Abomination to Cure Homogays
    - Chuck D. Finley

    From time to time Christwire likes to bring you scientific news, and boy oh boy have I got some for you now. One of our favorite scientific trends that we like to track is scientific perversion of GOD’s very intelligent design into twisted abominations. Well I just learned that CNN is reporting that mad athiest scientists at the Mayonnaise Clinic are once again at work creating test tube abominations.


    I’m in your house, glowing.

    This time they are doing it to cure AIDS patients. Say what you will about AIDS but we all know that God cooked it up and gave it to the gays in the 80′s to punish them for being abominations unto him. The bible says that…look it up.

    Well now the Dr. Frankenseins are taking a cat and sticking in some monkey DNA. The monkey genes are known to block FIV infections, which is similar to HIV in humans. That’s right. Cats have their own version of AIDS, God hates cats so much he gave them their own version of AIDS.


    I can has explanation for why your made me a freak?

    But the mad scientists arent done there, they then placed jellyfish genes in the cats for “tracking purposes” which made the resulting kittens glow green. Because why put an orange collar on the cat when you can just screw around with it’s DNA, and make it even more of a freak?

    These so called scientists disgust me with their sick and twisted perversions of Gods ideal. But they are so happy with theirsleves, they say that early tests show the kittens’ modified cells kept FIV infections from spreading. We’ll see what GOD has to say about this.

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    About The Author
    Chuck D. Finley Brother Chuck is the Minister of The First Tyranical Church of Jesus in Roswell Ga. He is also a proud husband and father.

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