Petition to Deport All Emosexuals to Cuba
Sign Here: Petition to send all Emosexuals to Cuba
It is my job as a former Jury Duty at Law to judge when a group or individual shall be guilty in this nation. Through the hard work of our journalists and societal analysists, it has become rabidly apparent that the greatest threat to America are the emosexuals.
What is an Emosexual? They are the depressed, black-cloth drenched children who lack vitamin D and have nasty attitudes. They fall and worship Satanic bands who dress up like demon witches and they drink each other’s bloods and worship before the unholy words of JRK Tolkien. These little spellbound witches are supposed to be the promising future of America, but only warm the flaming eyes of their wiccan religion Father Satan.
These children are to today’s culture what the STD drenched, drug toking unAmerican Commie hippies were to the 60s. These little draft dodgers are sitting in their homes, listening to their horrible music and causing trouble while proper people their age are protecting freedom in Iraq and Afghanistan. These little Satanic brides are laying prostrate before the thrones of Satan, leaving him to his wildest glee and fantasies upon their bodies in their midnight moon rituals while hardworking young men and women in this country are at university, burning the midnight oil to become tomorrow’s successful lawyers, doctors and business leaders.
Emosexuals are going to be the next drain to our ecomony. The girls are future methfaced Obamamommas, getting lapped up by faygo explosions in their babymakers and expecting Mommy, Daddy and Uncle Sam’s taxes to fund them as they spit out kid after kid they get knocked up with at their dangerous liquid sin raves. The boys are no better, lacing themselves up in leather like an 80s punk street prostitute and letting the next horndog businessman use them up in a back alley, all in exchange for a sniff of crank or a 20 dollar bill they’ll rush to Hot Topic and buy the next Black Vealed Sally Harper slut CD! Mark my words, parents, we must just rid society of this filthy!
So as a responsible man of society, I have taken it upon myself to contact the Cuban consulate and demand they accept a shipment of these vile punks as ‘exchange students’. We will leave them there and take some young Cubans in exchange. Taught right, Cubans are harder workers and of better moral resolve than these little goth punk dropouts.
So here is the petition:
PETITION TO SEND ALL EMOS TO CUBA
Already 400 have signed and I will not be happy until it reaches 4 million!
http://www.petitiononline.com/mod_perl/signed.cgi?80008000
Sincerely,
Abe Goodman, Jury Duty at Law, Concerned Parent, Enviromental Scientist, Minister, B.A.
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Abe
If you don't like what you just read here you can just get out of my country. Now how about that smart-alack.
Follow me on twitters. Poke me as your New Friend on Facebook!!
11:37 am
~_- what im seeing in this article is “i dont like the way they dress,the music they listen to,or they store they go to so im going to make shit up and have people sign a petition to get rid of these people instead of leaving them be”
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11:48 am
What’s wrong with that?
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12:40 pm
you are not supposed to be USA the land of FREEDOM to be whatever they want to be without you have anything to said ?? I see quite the Opposite Out there it’s the wrong
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2:35 pm
We will show you freedome once we invade Canada.
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7:03 pm
Yeah farthead! Too many Emofucks up there in canda, like augst says, you fuckface ferry! so if the US of a decides to invated canda, you emofartheads better run and hide because ‘MERICA! wond be putting up with some winey-my-mom-has-a-dick-and-my-dad-has-a-hole-and-my-beagle-fucks-me-in-my-ass fuckface bullshit, you nice-nice caknadian ferry fartface!
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3:39 pm
I have been waiting for just such a just cause.
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12:45 pm
Whats wrong Adam Nitwit is this is the USA where we have the freedom to choose what we do without being told no by anyone other then our parents until we move out of their house and then we’re free so long as it doesnt endanger anyone else and we dont skip taxes.you act like everyone should be the same as you.
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7:48 pm
Absolutely everything Adam, ALL of what Abe said is wrong.
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11:59 am
sorry dude this just isnt gonna happen and you know what i arent sorry EMO`S AND PEOPLE WHO ARE CALL EMO are and always well be better then anyone else
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1:31 pm
Dude, you want to move over two million children to cuba?
good luck, your gunna need it!
hahaha!
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1:12 am
2 million of you? I think bullets are cheaper…loading up the glock….
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1:25 pm
So now you want to kill over two million children?
wow, you have such a kind soul.
and yes, over two million, there is over one million BVB fans alone. fuck you.
\m/
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4:58 pm
not to mention the goths theyd send too since they think emos and goths are same…sorta but not really
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2:31 pm
Why don’t we just send all christwire supporters to “heaven”? we don’t have to hear their shit and if god exists, they get to meet him. everyone wins!
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3:53 pm
-signs the cw to heaven petition-
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3:53 pm
OO 400 people that’s almost half of the people on the internet according to the bible.
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5:14 pm
i got a better idea!!!!!;
first i buy an island
so then we get all the emos
then we ship them to my island
then we have the biggest fucking rave ever
this is what we call a win-win situation, and the emos are the only one who win cuz after i get all my beloved emo’s (and gays if u want) we will rage a war in america and since 2/3rds of the world hate u we will win!!!!
LONG LIVE THE EMOS!!!!!!!!
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5:36 pm
Alison, I like your idea
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7:53 pm
Let’s do it! I can’t wait for the rave!
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8:07 pm
Hey Alison, did you get my email?
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1:16 am
Damn L.N step off, she is my little snow bunny! And I need to get mine before ya’ll head off.
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6:03 pm
Well Abe, you are a fucking moron. The way I dress is protected by my first amendment freedom of speech. Yes, clothing falls under freedom of speech, because it shows who you are. What makes you think that I would go anyways? This is the USA. Our ancestors died so that we could express ourselves.
Matthew 22:37–39
Jesus said to him, ‘You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’
I think someone isn’t loving their neighbor. Shame on you Abe.
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6:04 pm
Do you know that this entire site is faked?
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7:16 pm
THIS IS REAL, yOU FARTHEAD FUCKFACE! And You better tke that back! You are a ferry, because cueba wood fucking sink from all those emofartheads landing on there island down their, fuckhead! jUst beacause Nellie quotes the bible isnt a raeson to put her down, even though she aparently wants to fuck her neaber in the ass as long as he dont mind the commandment, you ferry fartehaed! Jesus was from canada wit h all the fuckface feartheads that are so nice they let there beagles have first amentmemt rights and rub there lipstick liddle thingies on there socks, you fartface!
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7:19 pm
What is this I don’t even….
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7:47 pm
There is no need to be so rude. I would never do that to anyone, that’s disturbing. I suggest you get some mental help.
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2:14 am
Im iwth nelly fartheads! youShould never put emofucks on an island all together, fuckface! in the beginning they will all get really pissey trying to one up each other with there storyes about whose parents abrused them worst! You fartfuck ferrys! And you know what, facefart! Then they will all reaize they are having the time of there lives and never want to leave, and then the bill clintons of the world will only have cigars from fLorida to shove up there intern’s fannys, you ferry farthead! Because emos can’t be trusted to make hafway desent cirgars!!@! They just want to amke you sad as they are so you understand, you facefuckfartferrys!!
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7:49 pm
“It is my job as a former Jury Duty at Law to judge when a group or individual shall be guilty in this nation. ”
So because you used to be part of a jury, that means you have the final say-so in who’s guilty of what? Hey, that means that I’m able to do that to! I was a part of a jury just last year! In that case, I declare Abe guilty of Goat Sodomy.
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9:36 pm
You cannot even use the word ‘too’ correctly, Cochise. How about you learn how to speak properly and leave the law for those more educated. Stupid prick.
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9:45 pm
Look whos talking! Your comments aren’t very educated either.
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1:21 am
HA! Adam, you’ve got your fair share of typos before, you ignorant asshole. You can’t even see your own damn typos, even after they’ve been pointed out to you.
Are you such an idiot that all you can latch onto when someone brings up a point is their grammar or spelling? Whenever Claire brought up a screenshot of your own errors, you just claim ‘out of context’ or ‘that doesn’t count’ or ‘you photoshopped it’ or some other nonsense.
At least I know how to spell ‘quarterback’, you seem to think it’s spelled ‘quaterback’. If you’re going to argue about my errors, you might want to try doing so without having quite a few on your own shoulders, asshole.
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7:15 pm
HEY FARTFACE! WHO YOU TALKN TO ABOUT BEING EDUCATED COMMENTS, FUCKHEAD! Typoes dont say anytin about how intelegent someone is it only tells you thant maybe they are so excited and stuff to get there ansers out that their minds talk faster than there fingers, you farthead ferry! And if clare was nice enough to take a pitcher of your words and poste them on the internext, you should be tehankful, fuckface! LN is right because you DO have a asshooe on oyur shoeders! You ferry!
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8:13 pm
You sir are a failure at life. Please place the end of your shotgun in your mouth and pull the trigger. It will earn you a Darwin Award and you can live out the rest of your immortal life in Gehenom.
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9:08 pm
Everyone be afraid they have exacty 403 signatures!!! At this rate Thaler will be able to get absolutely nothing done! I feel so bad for emos… They have just under a 10000000th of the population supporting them! This website is such a fucking joke. It used to be funny but now its just dumb… Idk why I still come on here
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9:59 pm
Abe, another great proposal. What are these Emo’s going to do in Cuba with all of that sunshine, no haircare products, and no iPods? I think they’ll see that their lifestyle choices depened on hard working conservative Christians to keep the country running. Castro won’t get them squat.
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10:51 pm
you guys are idiots unless we do something like turn us into an offical group and go cause Actual mayhem, you CANT put us anywhere!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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10:55 pm
This is a joke, right? Please tell me there’s not somebody out there that’s actually this stupid.
Okay, first of all the term “Emo” is all in your over-religious heads. “Emo” is a music genre, do your homework. We don’t worship “Satan” and, in my book, he’s just as much of a imaginary friend as your supposed “God” is. If your “God” did exist, why would we be here if he had such a problem with us? Why would there be crime, murder, or anything else for that matter? If he loved us so much he apparently gave up his only son for us (Which is bullshit because no parent would do it unless they were mentally unstable), why does he let us live in what you seem to see as “Sin”? You’re not in charge of the way we live our lives and we don’t control yours. The differences are we choose to express ourselves in a different way and we believe in our music, whereas you believe in a “God” that allows mothers to kill their own children babies to drown. I’d rather go to Satan if God did exist, anyways, because at least Satan is strait forward about what he does, he’s not a hypocritical TYRANT.
Besides that, this is unconstitutional. We’re in a free country and can choose to express ourselves how we see fit as you are free to do the same.
I’m sorry you members of this website are so uncomfortable with what you don’t understand that you feel the need to try to make everything that falls out of your mental capacity seem evil, like it needs to be rid of. We’re a different time period, clearly, and you can’t change it. I hope you find the inner strength one day to open your minds a bit, because you’ll be dying a lonely death with this attitude. I hope you live a long and happy life, and just know that nothing you say on here, or do, will ever affect us, our state of being, or our personalities. Have a nice day.
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2:59 pm
^exactly. also “I caught a turtle”
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7:26 pm
Congratulations on catching a turtle? Haha?
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11:33 pm
I like turtles.
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11:44 pm
there should be an emo-island.
that would be the best place EVER.
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4:11 am
Maybe I can get some cigars for selling a few of them.
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4:50 am
Yes sir, deport those sinful, miserable wretches, but is Cuba perhaps a little too close? Perhaps another commie country like japan, or turkey! Keep praising the good word sir. God bless America.
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5:51 am
Just lock them in warehouses with no way out, no food, no water etc. and supply 1 razor blade.
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5:29 pm
That’s just macabre, Earl. I would support sending them to a camp in Cuba, like they do on daytime television with all the out-of-control minority children. Sort of a hybrid bootcamp and boarding school. Would actually be pretty neat and perhaps save the next generation of America from having too many non-working, drug-addicted sloths.
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5:36 pm
You are full of great ideas. We need more intulectual christians like you on this site.
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2:58 pm
hey heres a better idea let them live their own lives and if they end up being burdens to society let that generation clean it up
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3:30 pm
Wouldn’t locking them in whorehouses defeat the purpose?
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2:52 pm
if you pay for the flights, and if the bvb army are going, and bvb And similar are going
then this looks like fun
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3:00 pm
Don’t forget us MCRmy. We would like to have fun in the sun as well.
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3:31 pm
Is the emo aware of aspersions being cast against it?
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3:33 pm
And how can you tell if you are an emo?
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3:36 pm
you can tell by reading some of the “articles” that are on this site. If you fit any of the criteria, even one, you are considered an emo.
Here’s an example: Do you have emotions? If you answered Yes, then your an emo.
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3:41 pm
do you wear jeans or dark clothes?
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3:51 pm
Do you listen to anything other than country or christian music?
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3:56 pm
if you are a guy do you hav long hair if your a girl do you have short hair?
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11:01 am
hey ABE ,
Stop being such a douch bag ! i belive that the bible says that Jesus loves everybody, and yet instead of following the examples he set, your hating everybody who is different from your self. what happened to “love thy neighbor” ?? you think that your setting a good example to the next generation yet your casting out nothing but hate ! some christian you are ! i am a wiccan, and would like to point out that the whole satan worshiping rubbish you just put up there isnt true, your getting wiccan and satanist mixed up. i am also goth, and that crap you put up about us not working hard isnt true either ! i got 11 gcse’s at B grades upwards, a friend i know is goth and shes a highly respected doctor. there isnt nothing i hate more than an ignorant pig, especially when they belive that everybody should be just like them. All of us have been made in gods form, so by hating your own kind surely your hating gods creation? i sincerly hope that you dont get into heaven and spend all eternity in purgatory for your hate crimes unless you get over your prejudices and learn to love your fellow man-kind.
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