Real Men Don’t Keep Cats
Does masculinity have any value in American culture today? Slate Magazine recently reported that many television programs this season promote weak, effeminate male characters. From Kevin Dillon in “How To Be A Gentlemen” to Dan Fogler in “Man Up,” these types of shows celebrate the unemployed and immature man as an honorable role model. It is rather shocking when we understand that the liberal mass media is doing so very little to lead us out of our very difficult economic times. Instead, they seek to profit greedily by offering psychological support for poor lifestyle choices and a non-existent work ethic.
Hanna Rosin has labeled this fad “The End of Men” in an arresting column in Atlantic Magazine. Yet one overlooked element in the rise of neutered twenty-somethings is their dedication to feline pets. It fits in with the larger push for male Americans to become “domestic divas” in their personal lives. Cable stations now encourage such people to beautify their homes on a 24-hour basis. Coupled with a revised interest in “pretty” clothing fashions, we are witnessing the broad emasculation of our nation. The brawny, hard heroes of generations ago had little time for designer lamps and “skinny jeans.” Disappointingly, today’s young men want to create lush, gentle private spaces in which they can wile away their afternoons crawling the internet and engaging in harmful physical activities.
It should come as no surprise then that cats play a significant role in this reversal of the American ethos on our television screens. They can be quirky, affectionate characters who displace genuine human companionship, such as Lord Tubbington on “Glee” or Spot on “Star Trek.” They also fit into the larger agenda of programs that embrace witchcraft and the demonic afterlife, such as Kit Kat on “Charmed” and Miss Kitty Fantastico on “Buffy the Vampire Slayer.”
Despite the consumer popularization of cat ownership, there is a shocking lack of awareness among educated Americans when it comes to the moral, social and health issues before us. For Christians, the question must be asked: How does one’s complete codependence on such a troubling animal glorify God? Does worshipping a material possession like a cat do justice to the One who created us, who sent His only begotten Son to die for our sins? Can you honestly say that you are respecting the commandment in 1 Corinthians 6:19-20: “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body”? It should also be noted that in the Bible, neither Jesus nor Moses nor any of the Twelve Apostles ever owned a cat.
To help us understand this complex issue, we have put together five very important studies on the cat question. They present the latest groundbreaking Biblical and scientific research currently available. In the end, we must not forget Jesus’s beautiful verse in the Gospel of John: “If a man love Me, he will keep My words: and My Father will love him, and We will come unto him, and make our abode with him.”
1. Cats can expose humans to severe health problems.
“Letting a wild animal loose in your home carries risks. For cat owners, there are many serious health issues that are too often overlooked. Unlike dogs, these animals are notoriously averse to being bathed in hot, fresh water. It should be no surprise, then, that they carry bacteria and germs. A short list of the diseases cats transmit to humans includes: Petzetakis’ Syndrome, Cat-Scratch-Oculoglandular Syndrome, Parinaud’s Syndrome, Adenitis, Debre’s Syndrome, Foshay-Mollaret Cat-Scratch Fever, Lymphadenitis and Lymphoreticulosis.” –The Dark Underside Of America’s Obsession With Cat Ownership.
2. Bonding with felines encourages immoral life goals that contradict the Bible’s views on the stewardship of God’s lesser creatures.
“The cat is one of the most common offenders against the commandments of God and it is truly a sin for a Christian to own one. Maybe you should ask yourself why you need your cats in heaven beside you in the first place. Do you think you’ll get bored of God after awhile? Heaven is meant to be where we sit at the feet of our Lord and revel in his light and glory for eternity. We are not jumping around, planting gardens and feeding Fluffy… It’s simply the absurd neediness of the weak-minded.” –Do Gay Pets Go To Heaven?
3. Cats can exacerbate a man’s lethargy and unnatural effeminacy.
“For men who seek comfort in pets, felines lay out an odd trap. The animal’s ambivalence and brooding confuses basic masculine instincts. It forces owners to spend more time at home pondering the queer dilemma of cat ownership. As this situation compounds over time, the man unwittingly adopts an elderly lifestyle. He becomes homebound and introverted, pursuing work as a freelancer, computer operator or graphic designer- anything that keeps him within his warm confines most hours of the day.” –Are Your Cats Keeping You Single?
4. There is a strong correlation between hardcore sexual experimentation and cats in the home environment.
“Experts agree that animals have been known to mimic humans and hypothetically this could extend to intimate activities. As has been noted previously, same-sex activity does not occur naturally in the wild world. It does happen, however, in caged environments like zoos or private homes, just like gang rapes in prison. Following the idea that pets seek rewards from their owners, there is a good possibility that cats are simply showing off for their voyeuristic homosexual masters. They hope to garner a treat by offering up a visible affirmation of a radical human lifestyle choice. Perhaps this indicates that sexual attraction abnormalities can be spread from humans to pets.” –Why Do Rabbits Rape Cats?
5. By promoting this type of animal as a domestic companion, we are disregarding its potential as a solution to the global food shortage.
“Today, there is another taboo that needs to be addressed. Cat meat has been consumed on every inhabited continent on this planet. The Swedes enjoy it in a stew, as do the indigenous people of Australia. In Peru, they make tamales while in China and Korea it is turned into meatballs and soup. Spiritually, the Bible issues no condemnation of feline consumption. Genesis 9:3 tells us of God’s commandment, ‘Every moving thing that lives shall be food for you. And as I gave you the green plants, I give you everything.’” –Can Cat Meat Solve the World’s Hunger Problem?
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Author: Stephenson Billings
Stephenson Billings is an Investigative Journalist, Motivational Children's Party Entertainer and Antique Soda Bottle Collector all in one special, blessed package! Facebook me here or Fanmail me: StephensonBillings@yahoo.com !
2:00 pm
I’m so not sorry, but, you really are quite uneducated. Animals were put on earth by God. ALL animals, including cats. If God hated them, he wouldn’t have even created cats in the first place. They do not encourage homosexuality, or satinism, or anything at all. They are a loving pet that has been proven to take stress away. All animals can carry a disease, and all animals,including dogs, need shots to keep them from getting sick.
Your arguement is invalid.
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2:06 pm
It seems you have trouble reading. It was never said that cats encourage homosexuality, but that being in environments with homogays causes the cats to become sexually confused.
[quote]Following the idea that pets seek rewards from their owners, there is a good possibility that cats are simply showing off for their voyeuristic homosexual masters. They hope to garner a treat by offering up a visible affirmation of a radical human lifestyle choice. Perhaps this indicates that sexual attraction abnormalities can be spread from humans to pets[/quote]
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2:13 pm
And what proof do you have to support this claim? Really? Anything? Nothing? Cool. Well, please continue on in your pursuit of stupidity. Have a nice day.
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3:13 pm
BVB: Thank you for the comment but I believe you lack a critical understand of the Bible and God’s work. You claim that since our Lord created this earth, everything upon it must be good. What about volcanoes or tigers or pedophiles and murderers? Do they not pose a risk to the successful living of our lives? Should we embrace them in our homes or should we educate our fellow men about their inherent dangers?
God did indeed create the feline population, but never did he intend these creatures to take the place of humans in a family or even a sexual role. Cats have been shown to disturb the natural maturation process of young peoples, turning women away from marriage and making men more likely to eschew the proper socialization necessary to become a member of one’s faith community. Should we all adopt sewer rats and violent cougars as pets free to wander in our homes? Of course not, the idea would be absurd.
As for your views on the homosexual lifestyle, I understand this is a controversial subject today but the Bible is quite clear about how immoral and disturbing this is. Can you honestly say that something good comes out of sodomy? Again, I believe your liberal agenda is too nakedly displayed here and it surely is not shared with the majority of Christian-Americans who love this nation.
Well, I hope this helped you understand some of these issues here my young friend. God bless!
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3:18 pm
What is your proof?
Only thing I need to say on this.
Also, SOURCE!!!!!!
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3:23 pm
“Cats have been shown to disturb the natural maturation process of young peoples, turning women away from marriage and making men more likely to eschew the proper socialization necessary to become a member of one’s faith community.”
So wait…a man who’s never been married is moaning about women turning away from marriage? Hypocrite much?
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2:15 am
no claire, he is obviously saying that when women turn from Gods commandment to go forth and multiply it is much harder for men like him to find women such as yourself.
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2:21 am
So, I am pretty sure that the whole be fruitful and multiply was a much better idea back when the earth wasn’t so over crowded. But now, it is a much better idea not to have children. Or to adopt. It’s much better that way.
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6:37 pm
well thank you for replying maturely. But, When God finished the 7 days of creating the Earth, he said “and all was good.”
He did creat the felines, Adam named all the creatures afterall. Animals were put here for enjoyment(not in any horrible way though.)and for friendship.
I don’t mind someone likeing others of the same sex, I know it says it’s wrong int he bible, but i can’t help but do what God says and give equal love to everyone, including Homosexuals. As for violence and pedohiles, thoughs have been here since Adam and Eve took a bite out of the fruit becuase of Satan, wich was the only evil that existed, I’m sure. Satan wormed his way through Cane, then others of the human race.
I would love to let you know I myself am a baptist christain. But I still have diffrent views on things.
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8:38 pm
//God did indeed create the feline population, but never did he intend these creatures to take the place of humans in a family or even a sexual role.//
Ok, sexual role, I’ll agree with you there, but God gave man dominion over the land and it’s creatures. God created cats. Man has dominion over cats. You literally have no reason as to why your statement is true. He DID intend that cats are to be pets to humans. Literal family members? Technically, no, but then who’s to say that there are people who would rather have a dog than a family? Does that mean that dogs are bad as well?
//Cats have been shown to disturb the natural maturation process of young peoples//
Proof.
//turning women away from marriage//
Proof.
//and making men more likely to eschew the proper socialization necessary to become a member of one’s faith community.//
And again, proof.
//Should we all adopt sewer rats and violent cougars as pets free to wander in our homes? Of course not, the idea would be absurd.//
True, but domesticated cats aren’t sewer rats or violent cougars now, are they? So what was the point of that statement?
//As for your views on the homosexual lifestyle, I understand this is a controversial subject today but the Bible is quite clear about how immoral and disturbing this is.//
Actually, no it isn’t. For one thing, part of the text that even hints that homosexuality is a bad thing isn’t even apart of the text you’re supposed to follow. Also, any mention of Sodom and Gomorrah is going to be a moot point when the fact that they raped and murdered more often than not is brought up.
//Can you honestly say that something good comes out of sodomy?//
Sexual relief. Plus, straight couples do it as well. The benefits of sex without the risk of a baby. Oh wait, you think only married couples should have sex to make babies and nothing else, that’s right. Well then, no, but then I ask you this; what good has come out of Christianity lately? I’ll give you the answer: nothing. Why? Same reason why you don’t think that there’s any good from butt sex, I don’t agree with those views.
//Again, I believe your liberal agenda is too nakedly displayed here and it surely is not shared with the majority of Christian-Americans who love this nation.//
You’d be surprised how wrong you are. You know how many ‘Christian’ teenagers there are who are saying ‘sex before marriage is wrong’ just go around and get knocked up? Quite a few. You’re a shining example of hypocrisy; you claim that so much is evil, and yet you’re doing exactly what you accuse others of doing without so much of a thought as to what comes of your actions, and you think you’re doing it for the greater good.
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10:20 am
There was a great series of reports a few years back about how cats intentionally manipulate humans by parroting the sound of a crying baby. This is very, very dangerous for single women as such a longterm relationship can replace that of actual children (or even bothering to find a man with which to have those children).
The Bible teaches us dominion and stewardship. We are meant to be served by the animals, and not their servants! Being a servant to a lesser beast is a sin and is often connected to Satanism. Such practices leads to a form of domestic slavery which DOES NOT glorify God in any way, as I have written extensively before.
Cats learn to vocalize a particular sound to train their human companions from Scientific American.
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10:24 am
“This is very, very dangerous for single women as such a longterm relationship can replace that of actual children (or even bothering to find a man with which to have those children).”
NEWSFLASH: This is not Saudi Arabia; women are allowed to not want children.
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12:42 pm
//There was a great series of reports a few years back about how cats intentionally manipulate humans by parroting the sound of a crying baby. This is very, very dangerous for single women as such a longterm relationship can replace that of actual children (or even bothering to find a man with which to have those children).//
You act like you’re capable of analyzing every single woman on the entire Earth. Do you need reminding that the only woman you’ve ever had contact with is your mother? Oh, and I’d certainly like to see these ‘reports’ you mentioned, I want to see how much shit they’re full of too.
//The Bible teaches us dominion and stewardship. We are meant to be served by the animals, and not their servants! Being a servant to a lesser beast is a sin and is often connected to Satanism. Such practices leads to a form of domestic slavery which DOES NOT glorify God in any way, as I have written extensively before.//
So having to feed and clean an animal is serving it? Well then, guess owning a dog is a sin as well, since you have to make sure their crap is picked up so they don’t step in it or eat it, and you also have to cut their nails so that they aren’t scratching up everything. Oh, and you gotta make sure they’re also fed properly. OOOH, there’s also cleaning them so that they stay health and that the dirt doesn’t get them infected somehow. Yep, sounds like you have to be in servitude to a dog, so dog owning is now a sin.
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6:39 pm
you are correct, it never did. But in other articles, it has. Animals have nothing to do with homosexuallity, or anything at all. and vice versa. Animals are not sxually confused at all.
Oh, as for me having trouble reading, I’m actually at the top of my class when it comes to english and reading (: Thank you.
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10:22 am
I appreciate the apology, my dear young reader.
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10:26 am
That wasn’t an apology. Are you blind or just stupid? Oh wait, I’ve been arguing with you for three years now, I know the answer.
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2:41 am
isn’t the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome?
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6:55 am
I don’t apologize for what i belive in.
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2:04 pm
So, Mr. Billings, do you have any proof of the claims you have made? Because referencing your own articles proves nothing. Until you prove that these are legitimate reasons for not owning a cat, I suggest you go out and pet a nice big lion. You know, the king of the cats?
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2:46 pm
even a Tiger is enough for him or a Lynx or panther
as for dog what do they have … wolf ??
WOLF all of the above can kick a wolf ass easily
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2:53 pm
True. Very very true Mil.
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2:19 pm
lol
“There is a strong correlation between hardcore sexual experimentation and cats”
Hardcore? That’s like extreme, you know…experimentation isn’t usually “hardcore” unless they get into it[and in that case it becomes more then]…
And I guess I’m not a “real” man for having 10 rescues…but I don’t care…I love my kitties…lol
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2:26 pm
Cats have been known to eat their owners. That is a fact.
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2:30 pm
Alright, given that one of my cats likes to try to “eat” my legs and arms and hands everyday, but that is just her way of playing with me. She was a tiny kitten when we took her in, and was never able to learn from her mother not to do things like that. So, yea, you make a point that it is fact that they like to play with their owners.
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2:43 am
“Alright, given that one of my cats likes to try to “eat” my legs and arms and hands everyday, but that is just her way of playing with me. ”
How many cats do you have? I think we have an explaination.
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3:59 pm
I personally have one. Then we have the family’s cat, and my littlest brother’s cat. So, in this house, we have 3.
And what do you mean “I think we have an explanation?”
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2:48 pm
dog can actually Bites chidlren in their face and mostly Kill them
Cat Can’t
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3:31 pm
So have dogs.
http://news.yahoo.com/abandoned-two-weeks-starving-dogs-eat-owner-152255231.html
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10:46 pm
dog when they are not feed became wolf after all wolve are just wild dog dog are the tamed Version thyats all
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2:33 pm
House cats don’t eat their owners, smart one. There are more reports of…gasp…DOGS attacking people.
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2:28 pm
Thanks for the pingback. You referenced my blog on Word Press, which is inactive. Check out my other website and tell me what you think.
http://www.blackperception.com/
BTW this is a very wild theory you are positing. Worth checking into, I have a post on my blog that suggests that young men prefer male companionship to that of a woman and that there is a sexualized component in what most of us just consider to be male bonding.
My skinny jeans website speaks nothing of what you are trying to get at here though, lol. I have nothing against skinny jeans, but I do think that a lot of young men jumped on that trend to attempt to differentiate themselves from older men like myself in our 30s. Skinny jeans were in style before in the 70s and 80s; perhaps not to the extreme they were for the younger generation but in the 90s we would have considered those jeans to be skinny.
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2:47 pm
Hello my friend and thank you for the discussion. I am sorry to hear that you closed your blog but your examination of male fashion trends is still relevant, particularly when one sees the underpinnings of unemployment and homosexuality connected to the “hipster” scene. God bless!
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2:33 pm
Yet again, Brother Billings is doing the lords work. Yet Again, Brother Billings is alerting the country to a new domestic terrorist threat of sin. Cats are the “devils beast”(Leviticus4:17)Just as Brother billings pointed out in his expose of the flaming homo band CAKE and how they are turning the nations males into limp dicked, liberal pansies was eye opening. The analingus article also plays into Cake’s sick and demented vision for the future of this once might christian nation.
Bless ye again Brother Billings. These cat men are sinners the lot of them. have mercy on the souls of these bestiality mongers.
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2:38 pm
So, your reference to Va-yikra 4:17 leads to a verse that translates from the original Hebrew into “and the priest shall dip his finger in the blood and sprinkle of it seven times before the Lord, in front of the curtain.”
I see nowhere in there the mention of cats, devil beasts, or anything pertaining to this article. Please check your sources and try again.
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2:59 pm
you are obviously misreading it. and you maam are obviously a SINNER!
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3:09 pm
Actually, I read it straight out of the Chumash I keep next to me now so that I can prove you wrong with actual verses from the Torah. I can also find it online if you want.
“יז וְטָבַל הַכֹּהֵן אֶצְבָּעוֹ, מִן-הַדָּם; וְהִזָּה שֶׁבַע פְּעָמִים, לִפְנֵי יְהוָה, אֵת, פְּנֵי הַפָּרֹכֶת.
17 And the priest shall dip his finger in the blood, and sprinkle it seven times before the LORD, in front of the veil. ”
And my source: http://www.mechon-mamre.org/p/pt/pt0304.htm
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3:10 pm
Additionally, I am most certainly a man, as many of your crazy cohorts on this site can attest to, and am Jewish, so I am not a sinner. See ya!
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4:19 pm
I can attest to you being a man.
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10:48 pm
why knowing other language is being a sinner ??? You just too stupid to learn 1 or 2 language other than your mother language
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2:51 pm
You american use the word Terrorism a Little to Much that lost the meaning of it it’s like phillipines using scandal to name the premarital sex its lost their meaning
seriously I always said the Biggets terrorist are the fundamentalist christian who Ban and destroy our freedom
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2:50 pm
“It fits in with the larger push for male Americans to become “domestic divas” in their personal lives.”
I fail to see why that’s so bad.
“Does worshipping a material possession like a cat”
Cats are living, breathing creatures, not material possessions.
“It should also be noted that in the Bible, neither Jesus nor Moses nor any of the Twelve Apostles ever owned a cat.”
No, but was it not a tabby cat that was blessed by Mary with an “M” shape on the top of its head because it comforted the baby Jesus?
“1. Cats can expose humans to severe health problems.”
And having an unvaccinated dog puts one at risk of contracting Leptospirosis, yet I don’t hear you bitching about that.
“2. Bonding with felines encourages immoral life goals that contradict the Bible’s views on the stewardship of God’s lesser creatures.”
Bonding with felines encourages single men to live for someone other than themselves and teaches them how to care for another living being.
“3. Cats can exacerbate a man’s lethargy and unnatural effeminacy.”
Remind me, again, what’s wrong with effeminate men?
“4. There is a strong correlation between hardcore sexual experimentation and cats in the home environment.”
In your imagination, maybe…
“5. By promoting this type of animal as a domestic companion, we are disregarding its potential as a solution to the global food shortage.”
You try to eat my cats and I’ll fuck you up.
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3:00 pm
I believe you have brought up some interesting counter-arguments young lady, but the truth that these types of animals carry a great amount of disease still holds. I also take exception to your familiarity with effeminate men. This is not what God had intended when He created man in His own image. I find the details of homosexuality activity abhorrent and frankly dangerous. Should we not protect our children from an unfulfilling, sex-addicted lifestyle often associate with drugs and alcoholism? I don’t know about you, but I love this country and consider myself a patriot. If we fail to keep America strong, what will happen to the rest of the world? They look to us for the lights of liberty and freedom. We have a responsibility to keep ourselves pure and gracious in our personal lives.
Again, I appreciate your thoughts but clearly you have a bit of growing up to do, sport. Angry threats of physical violence against your elders are very unbecoming.
Be well and God bless.
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3:28 pm
Billings, how many times have I told you that if somebody is older than 12 and is not a male that you’re not supposed to call them “sport”?
Oh, and considering how you essentially said that my cats should be made into stew, I’m well within my rights to protect them at all costs.
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8:13 pm
why am i not suprised you want to eat cats?
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8:23 pm
//I believe you have brought up some interesting counter-arguments young lady, but the truth that these types of animals carry a great amount of disease still holds.//
And by ‘interesting counter-arguments’, you of course mean ‘things you have said but I do not like so I will ignore them’.
Also, ALL household animals can contain and carry diseases by the truck load. Cats don’t carry more diseases than any other animal. Hell, household DOGS carry more diseases than cats simply because it’s easier for them to get fleas and spread them all over the house, rolling around and being played with by their owners.
//I also take exception to your familiarity with effeminate men. This is not what God had intended when He created man in His own image. I find the details of homosexuality activity abhorrent and frankly dangerous.//
You find the idea of love abhorrent and dangerous. What really slays me though, is that you’re completely gay, but you absolutely refuse to believe such a thing. Asking for pictures of young men, wanting to embrace men, writing up gay stories. Seriously, you’re probably one of the gayest men I have ever seen, and there are some seriously gay men on television.
//Should we not protect our children from an unfulfilling, sex-addicted lifestyle often associate with drugs and alcoholism?//
Yes, we should protect them from such a lifestyle. I fail to see though why homosexuality is such a bad thing to not teach children about, at the very least. It’s not like homosexuality is a choice or even a lifestyle, when you could have a conversation with a gay man and NEVER KNOW IT.
//I don’t know about you, but I love this country and consider myself a patriot.//
So being a patriot means wanting to remove the rights of your country’s citizens? Huh, I always thought it meant loving your country and wanting to make it better. Guess it really means hating it’s people and wanting to make their life hell by enforcing your lifestyle upon them.
//If we fail to keep America strong, what will happen to the rest of the world? They look to us for the lights of liberty and freedom.//
Uh, no they don’t. The rest of the world just wants America’s economy to be good so that we can keep buying stuff from them and they do the same with us. Other countries honestly don’t give two shits about us, we aren’t some moral lighthouse for them to look towards. Especially when we’re so hypocritical just amongst the church and government alone.
//We have a responsibility to keep ourselves pure and gracious in our personal lives. //
And you want to invade the personal lives of people and dictate them on what’s good or bad just because you’re pissed off that people like things that you hate. How the fuck can you sit there, think those thoughts, and yet still insist that you’re a ‘kind and nice’ person?
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3:01 pm
it’s me or it’s always Billings who talk about “masculinity and virility” and wnat a hairy chested man in his shower ???
Just saying
anyway even if I have a dog I love cat Too they are very affectionate
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3:09 pm
we know about your homoerotic sinner peanut butter trick you use with your dog. you disgust me and my entire congregation shuns you. heed our warning sinner! hell is for you! repent now sinner!
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3:13 pm
Hell is waiting for you more than for any of the sane, “liberals” on this site. You continue to take G-d’s name in vane, and continue to disrespect his chosen people. Please reform your ways or we will be forced to find you and bring you to hell ourselves.
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3:16 pm
Bad ass! lol I wouldn’t mind dragging them to hell!
The effort would be sooo worth the end result…
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3:23 pm
Agreed
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3:26 pm
God loves cat’s its in the bible he has one right now.
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4:21 pm
Real men care about animals and treat them properly. Having a dog doesnt make you any more or less manly than having a cat does, and vice versa.
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4:21 pm
Real men care about animals and treat them properly. Having a dog doesnt make you any more or less manly than having a cat does, and vice versa. that is all.
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8:09 pm
HEY STEVIE! Did you miss me? How’s your health doing? Terrible I hope. Looks like you’re back on the ‘making up shit and having to rely on previous bullshit’ routine that you’re good at (the ONLY thing you’re good at, mind you).
//1. Cats can expose humans to severe health problems.//
Oh? And dogs can’t either? What about fleas and ticks and all sorts of other problems? Dogs are a lot more active than cats and are known for going outside a lot more often, meaning they’re interacting with all kinds of other bugs and shit. Not only that, but they eat their own shit as well, cats are cleaner than dogs by a landslide. Plus, dog allergies exist, I have a friend who’s allergic to dogs and can’t be in contact with them. Funny, ain’t it? You’re all about claiming that cats are exposing humans to health problems, and yet not once did the idea that dogs can do the same, if not WORSE, to humans.
//2. Bonding with felines encourages immoral life goals that contradict the Bible’s views on the stewardship of God’s lesser creatures. //
How? If God gave man dominion of all creatures on Earth, and made felines, then a man who owns a cat is showing his dominion of that cat like God intended.
It’s not exactly rocket science either. Oh, and linking back to bullshit you made up before isn’t productive either, it just shows that you can’t find any actual information on the subject, so you have to resort to the bullshit you said before. In case you didn’t know this Stevie, just because you say something, doesn’t mean that it’s automatically right. In fact, you’re hardly EVER right, and throwing bible quotes around like the moron you are shows that you’re nothing but a coward and an idiot.
//3. Cats can exacerbate a man’s lethargy and unnatural effeminacy.//
So cats can cause a guy to get tired easily? Aren’t dogs worse, especially really playful dogs? All that running, barking, and jumping around can grind some people’s nerves. Cats tend to be quiet and not as active as dogs, which means that they aren’t making things worse.
And unnatural effeminacy? How the fuck does that one work? What, owning a cat makes a guy more girly? No, really, how the fuck does that work. How the hell does owning a cat make a guy more girly. What, because he has to keep things clean otherwise the cat gets pissed and antsy? Are you going to try to say that it’s better to be a disgusting pig? You’re literally just making shit up, all because you hate cats.
//4. There is a strong correlation between hardcore sexual experimentation and cats in the home environment.//
Uh, bullshit. Pure bullshit, and you know it. You’re literally lying out of your ass. You can’t prove that what you’re saying is right, you don’t show who these ‘experts’ are, you don’t produce the actual findings, and you just make shit up because you can’t think of anything else to talk about.
//5. By promoting this type of animal as a domestic companion, we are disregarding its potential as a solution to the global food shortage.//
And the same can be said about dogs and guinea pigs and hamsters and mice, and every other animal that’s ever kept as a pet. Technically speaking, yeah, it’s possible to eat ANY animal. However, certain animals in certain countries are considered to be not be edible whatsoever because they’re considered pets or symbolic of something, and in America, we like to think of cats as pets. Eating them…yeah, that’s going to make you look like a sick fuck in this country. In others? Hey, that’s them and more power to them, but that’s because they’re used to that sort of thing, they do that sort of thing more often (as in, for hundreds, if not THOUSANDS, of years).
Basically, you hate cats, and rather than just let other people own cats, you want them dead and eradicated. You want others to conform to your very line of thinking, regardless of how fucked up it is, or how constricting it is, or how it infringes upon the rights of every basic human being in America. You’ve admitted before in the past, that you want to do that to people, you’re just too much of a fucking coward to back those words up.
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8:11 pm
Hooray! your back! now we just need adam nelson!
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9:48 am
Hi Comedian!
Thank you for the hello and I must say it’s pleasant and refreshing to hear from you! We have several visitors to this site these days who just want to spam the comment forum without actually reading the articles. At least you took a little time to digest the journalism before you. Speaking of digestion, my health has been sub-par but decent. The humidity here this summer was intense and it irritated my hemorrhoids quite often. My mothers says its because I sit around writing too much and that I should wear pants but who cares when you’re alone in the house and no one is around? Mother sends her regards, she’s waving at me right now or maybe she’s having a spasm watching that shirtless chicano on the Young and Restless. Anyway, I have talked to her about you many, many times. She thinks you’re probably “light in the loafers” or the Jew version of Buddy Hackett, whatever that means. She does like you and that’s surely saying something!
Well, it has just been fantastic catching up! How was your summer? Did you travel anywhere? Have you met a girl yet? Both Mother and I are anxious to know. Be well, young man!
Stephenson (and Mother)
p.s. You didn’t really think I’d try to argue with you, did you? Your comments were hilarious in their sarcasm. You’re a rather convincing essayist, when you try.
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10:02 am
Eww, we do not need to know about your hemorrhoids! You sick sick man!
P.S. Have YOU met a woman yet (note I say woman and not girl because using the word girl to describe an adult female is degrading)?
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10:11 am
Not yet Claire! I have meet many wonderful women online, but I just don’t feel right launching a relationship that way. In town the other day I did meet a nice girl, but she was a bit modern for me and I thought she may have had a weight problem. I still hope to meet the right person and I want children more than anything!
With my affection,
Stephenson
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10:16 am
1. You met a WOMAN, not a girl.
2. Too modern for you? Let me guess, she wasn’t going to bow down to you and iron your shirts every day?
3. You’re a hypocrite. You’re fat as hell!
4. It’s a bit too late to be having children. Although biologically men can produce children until they die, is it really fair to be in your fifties when your child is born?
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12:50 pm
//At least you took a little time to digest the journalism before you.//
Stevie, Stevie, Stevie, how many times have we been over this? If you’re a fraud and know jack shit about a subject, you aren’t a journalist!
//Speaking of digestion, my health has been sub-par but decent. The humidity here this summer was intense and it irritated my hemorrhoids quite often. My mothers says its because I sit around writing too much and that I should wear pants but who cares when you’re alone in the house and no one is around?//
Well then, I hope your vital organs explode from the heat in addition to your problems. It’d save everyone the headache of knowing you’re still alive!
//p.s. You didn’t really think I’d try to argue with you, did you? Your comments were hilarious in their sarcasm. You’re a rather convincing essayist, when you try.//
You see, that’s the problem with sarcasm Stevie, you can’t tell when someone’s being serious when it comes to just text and words. I was being 100% serious with what I said up there. You’re nothing but a coward and a lowlife. A loser, a pathetic pile of shit, a liar.
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8:25 am
I showed this article to some friends, and one of them (he lives in Canada) wants to know if owning a mountain lion will damage his masculinity. I wasn’t sure what to tell him, since a mountain lion is a large and dangerous animal, but it’s still a cat.
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9:33 am
What a great question! First of all, I would discourage others from doing this at home. Mountain lions eat vast amounts of meat and it can get very expensive. Furthermore, they do not make good companions for children as they will likely bite and kill them. But if your friend is still wedded to the idea, I believe a lion is a manly and noble pet.
There are times when pastors refer to Christ as a tiger. Even poet and humanitarian TS Eliot memorialized this idea in his his work, “Gerontion”. It reads:
“Signs are taken for wonders. “We would see a sign”:
The word within a word, unable to speak a word,
Swaddled with darkness. In the juvescence of the year
Came Christ the tiger”
God bless my friend!
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9:59 am
So let me get this straight: you think that the potential health hazards of having a common house cat outweigh the benefits of taking such a sweet creature into your home, yet you’re telling a guy that having a mountain lion in his home is totally okay if he really wants one.
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2:00 am
fucckkkk yooooouu
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5:16 pm
I don’t have a cat of the animal variety. But I do drive a Jaguar. Am I safe?
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1:07 am
What a surprise that Claire would show up and give us her $0.02. Claire, we know
1) You love cats
2) You are lesbian
3) You hate Christ
What else could you possibly add to this discussion?
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1:45 am
That your a giant douche bag.
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6:59 am
You can obviously tell that Claire loves christ. She does join in with you all, but I feel bad becuase you turn against her simply becuase she loves cats. That does NOT make a person lesbian.
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3:24 pm
Maybe I am mistaken, but I think that she has claimed to be a porn-loving, well masturbated, virgin, cat loving, trade school attending, parent’s basement living, confused liberal, lesbian.
Claire can correct me if I misrepresented her life in any way.
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3:35 pm
And you are a fucking moronic, closed-minded, sexist, racist, xenophobic, homophobic, anal-rape loving, pedophile supporting, hate mongering, Nazi sympathizing, right wing, conservative, Christian nut job.
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3:41 pm
I have never posted anything pro-Nazi on this site. America exterminated them when Europe and the Jews could not during WWII. Why would I ever want to support those losers?
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3:51 pm
So, you are wrong, there were a shit ton of Jews in the American army that went to liberate the camps, and I am sorry for mixing you up with Adam, but you know how you Christians can be. You all look and sound alike.
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4:05 pm
And Einstein was a good Jew whose physics helped us build the bombs that ended the war. We were lucky to get him on our side.
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4:19 pm
Actually, the bombs are what took the Japanese out of the war. And, remember, Einstein wasn’t American. He was a German Jew who escaped from the Nazis. So, just remember that some of the best people in history were Jewish. Even you “messiah” was Jewish.
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4:20 pm
You obviously know nothing of history or of World War II so why don’t you shut your fucking mouth and go read a book.
ACTUALLY there are a lot of similarities between you people on this site and Nazism in the 1930′s. If Hitler were to be “Born Again” (see what I did there?) you people would follow him to your death.
Ice Van Winkle sounds like a homo name though so you may want to change that. FAG
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3:35 pm
Porn-loving: yes
Masturbating: yes
Virgin: yes
Cat-loving: yes
Trade school-attending: no, I go to college
Parents’ basement-living: no, I live in a dorm and go home on the weekends (to the same BEDROOM I’ve slept in since I was 6)
Liberal: yes, though not confused
Lesbian: no. Not once have I proclaimed to be a lesbian, although I’ve DENIED being a lesbian on numerous occasions
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10:58 pm
Claire, please send me your photo.
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7:31 am
PROVE she has “claimed” that. Give me all the CORRECT things she has told you that prove it.
Oh, you cant? I know you can’t. Becuase you’re a hypocrite.
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3:32 pm
1) Yes, I love cats
2) No, I’m not a lesbian
3) You can’t hate something that doesn’t exist
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3:36 pm
I hate Unicorns and Evolution, but neither of them exist.
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3:40 pm
Evolution exists, but unicorns don’t.
Again, you can’t hate something that doesn’t exist.
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4:22 pm
Claire has proved to me on multiple occasions that she is not a lesbian. We dress up like big Furry cats and fuck each other. I dress up like a BOY cat. Case solved.
I love it when she licks me with her sand papery tongue.
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4:27 pm
Evolution most certainly does not exist. It is laughable pseudoscience and the antithesis of the law of creation. Am I supposed to believe my cousin is a monkey? Must have missed the part of the family tree on ancestry.com – LOL!
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4:41 pm
Anyone that has a picture of a clown as his profile picture is a Pedophile. It goes: Cro-magnons > Homo Sapiens > Clowns > Pedophiles.
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4:54 pm
Oh, lighten up! Have a look at Mr. Billings Gallery of Fun Fotos!
http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.123259074396323.35479.100001366922231
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5:00 pm
FACEBOOK IS FOR FAGGOTS AND PEOPLE WHO HATE GOD YOU FUCKIN FUCK.
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5:02 pm
You are correct that Facebook is teeming with the unsaved. We certainly have our work cut out for us.
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5:11 pm
So you going to find children on there that you can “save” by putting them in your van? You sir, disgust me. Stop raping children. There is no repenting for that sin.
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8:33 pm
You’re simply an imbecile, Tonedare.
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9:22 pm
That coming from the idiot who can’t answer a simple question, Billings.
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10:57 pm
Tone – mock me all you want, but a van is simply the most efficient and practical mode of transportation for our Christian youth camping trips. Many of the youth who join us for these trips come from struggling homes and I can tell you their parents surely appreciate the economy of a conversion van. It may not be “stylish,” but it’s roomy enough for good conversation, scripture reading, and singing the gospel.
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7:35 am
HEY. Don’t hate on Unicorns. They’re magestic (:
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6:38 pm
HAHAHA, it you again! I speak for cats everywhere when i say… This is the last straw! you have pushed our last button! Plucked our final wisker! Prepare yourself for our kitty wrath!!!!
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6:42 pm
MEOW! WE WILL EAT YOU.
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8:10 pm
Evolution most certainly does not exist. It is laughable pseudoscience and the antithesis of the law of creation. Am I supposed to believe
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10:29 am
Bubbles will take all that you own, mr billings.
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