Reddit.com’s Web of Inappropriate Web Slang
Parents, here are some of the common slang terms found on the teen website, Reddit.com. Below this list, the different chapters of this internet page are explained in more detail. Please be warned, this dictionary contains some very graphic terminology.
For further analysis of this important issue, see the investigative report, “Is My Teen on Reddit”?
Reddit – The name is derived from the word “red,” connoting communism and “DIT,” the acronym for Dual Inheritance Theory. D.I.T. is a radical anti-Christian philosophy that proposes that human beings are the products of two influences– biological “evolution” and faddish cultural trends. Communism, evolution theory and trendiness– that is the “Red-dit” environment in a nutshell!
Reddator – A combination of “Reddit” and “Predator,” this is a user who dedicates several hours a day to cruising the site for sexual content and teenage boys and girls.
Mod – A moderator in this circus of technological perversion. One who lifts up the red velvet rope of private subsections, censoring elder wisdom and cultivating the ramblings of the underage.
Admin – A kingmaker who threatens those who don’t “get with the program” with permanent banishment if they ask too many questions or post conservative, Christian viewpoints. These types collect “mods” like Jeffrey Dahmer collected victims, first stupefying the mind with a cocktail of rules and then using threats of admonishment to gain physical subservience.
Karma – The praise points one earns from fellow users for typing non-threatening comments that mirror common leftist ideologies. This is the great drug of the Reddit enterprise, a carrot held out before Reddators encouraging them to write and submit more and more as their insatiable thirst for peer acceptance dominates personal time and completely erases what remains of one’s real world social life.
AMA – The acronym of the American Medical Association, often used in personal confessions regarding sexually transmitted diseases.
Bacon – A Jewish member of the site.
Fap – To masturbate furiously.
FTFY – “Free Tugs For You.” Denotes an advanced Reddator offering a hand to a novice. (The subtext of mutual masturbation is completely intentional.)
Hivemind – A proletariat collective in which everyone is at risk of being stung.
ILF/MD – I Love Female/Male Dominance
“I Rape Cats” – An advanced type of Reddator who believes he has achieved enough fame on Reddit to take his preposterous ideas and sleazy mannerisms offline. I.e., a fraud.
Narwhal – The precise definition of this term is unknown but is likely highly unpleasant.
Ninja – An Asian user of the website.
Novelty Account – To create an online profile for the promotion of pedophilia, narcotics or espionage.
NSFW/NSFL – “Not Safe for Watching” and “Not Safe for Listening.”
OP – “Opinionated Primadonna.”
PNP – “Party and Play” (gay drug and sex orgy).
Saydrah – A verb meaning to present oneself as a promiscuous woman for surreptitious financial gain. I.e., “That guy saydrahed erectile dysfunction cures all over my post!”
Submission – A form of behavior in which one attempts through appeasement displays to avoid injury by a dominant member of his or her own subculture.
TL;DR – Shorthand for “The lesson, dear reader.” A pretentious way of noting that other Reddators are too lazy to comprehend a paragraph over five lines long.
VMπ – Vampire.
ಠ_ಠ – An acknowledgement that one is currently wide-eyed from hallucinogenic drugs.
POWERFUL PROVINCES OF THE REDDIT EMPIRE:
r/Politics – A nasty hotbed of clichéd liberalism where the list of headlines mirrors CNN’s frontpage on any given day. The moderators of this section take great pride in presenting a meticulously edited appearance, as if they have the credibility of actual journalists.
r/Worldnews – An unappetizing recipe of ingredients from Al Jazeera and Al Haaretz go into making this news feed a disagreeable stew of globalism and socialist propaganda. You’d be better of getting your meals (and critical analysis) at Cracker Barrel.
r/Askreddit – A notoriously dishonest section where people make up horrendous stories about themselves in order to beg for “karma” and financial donations. A typical example would be: “I’m a heroin-addicted 14-year old mother of six living in a dumpster and having problems with my Chrome extensions. Can anyone help?”
r/Atheism – A lonely place where aging hippies attempt to convert their miserable career failures into intellectual capital.
/r/Bad_Cop_No_Donut – Ground zero for all those who hate the difficult work that America’s law enforcement engages in every day.
/r/fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu – An unnerving warehouse of x-rated “rage” comics miniaturized to such an extent that they are illegible to adult eyes.
r/Jailbait and r/Lgbtgonewild – Young people willfully expose bare flesh in the hopes of placing a band aid on their troubled egos in these smutty galleries. Like prostitutes dancing for cash, it is one of the sleaziest ways to garner “karma” and the advances of older men.
SFW Porn Network – A disturbing collection of photography where youths with questionable mental stability sexualize inanimate objects. This includes everything from fussy private libraries and uselessly outdated maps to imploding buildings and multiethnic ghettos.
r/TodayILearned – A naked display of shared ignorance, where shocked web surfers proudly proclaim well-known historical facts as new discoveries to the equally dumbfounded. For example, “TIL that there were TWO presidents named George Bush in America!”
r/Trees – A secret forum that is all about marijuana abuse. Most users here are far too stoned on drugs to realize that they have posted the same images and stories a dozen times before. See also r/woahdude.
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Stephenson Billings
Stephenson Billings is an Investigative Journalist, Motivational Children's Party Entertainer and Antique Soda Bottle Collector all in one special, blessed package! Facebook me here or Fanmail me: StephensonBillings@yahoo.com !
5:18 pm
Penises.
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5:34 pm
Disgusting.
Hot debate. What do you think?
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5:37 pm
Yes, just like you.
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2:38 am
Jesus had one.
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5:46 pm
That’s just not appropriate to talk about the Chosen One’s genatalia.
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8:54 pm
Harry Potter? Since when are we talking about Harry Potter? Or Neo from the Matrix. I didn’t we were talking about them.
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2:50 am
See I knew you’d say that, so I didn’t give you one. You’d only prance around in public with it anyway.
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12:32 pm
Really people? You got half of those abbr. wrong-
TL;DR- Too long, didn’t read
NSFW/NSFL- Not suitable for work/Life
OP- Origianl Poster
AMA- Ask Me Anything
Hot debate. What do you think?
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5:55 pm
That’s rather amusing.
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7:29 pm
What, that you’re wrong when claimed you were ‘investigative’ about this subject?
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12:51 am
Thanks for this post Brother Billings. While my children are not allowed on this site, if my neighbors ask me to help them decipher this sort of leet speak, your guide and the bible will be all that I need to gain entrance into the dark underworld of this sick site.
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2:51 am
are these the same neighbors who told you that a snake talked to two nudists? They’re messing with your head, dude.
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1:34 am
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5:23 pm
So, I stopped reading after the first point. You have no evidence to back up your claims, and I am sure that as soon as this article hits Reddit, which it most likely will, you will have a bunch of angry redditors banging down your doors. Good luck with that.
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9:02 pm
Please try and complete an entire article by flying off the handle with your questionable and frankly silly beliefs. Just because your extreme liberalism doesn’t “jive” with the rest of nation, doesn’t mean we don’t want to create bridges and bring your side together to our insight and vision. I realize that you’re young and suffering from a desire to rebel against normal society, but frolicking on a website like Reddit helps no one. I doubt your mother would be happy knowing you count these sorts among your friends. I love you and God does too!
Stephenson Billings
Investigative Journalist
Hot debate. What do you think?
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9:20 pm
I have never actually gone to reddit, to be honest. I just don’t feel your assessment of the site is true, or even factual.
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10:23 pm
//Please try and complete an entire article by flying off the handle with your questionable and frankly silly beliefs.//
Please learn basic English and grammar before attempting to make to make any kind of argument whatsoever.
//Just because your extreme liberalism doesn’t “jive” with the rest of nation, doesn’t mean we don’t want to create bridges and bring your side together to our insight and vision.//
Just because your extreme conservationism doesn’t sit well with the rest of the country doesn’t mean you have the right to push and demand your beliefs onto others.
//I realize that you’re young and suffering from a desire to rebel against normal society, but frolicking on a website like Reddit helps no one.//
Saying bullshit and calling it journalism isn’t helping anyone either Stevie, ya might wanna follow your own words for once instead of telling others to do what you say, even if you don’t plan on following those words.
//I doubt your mother would be happy knowing you count these sorts among your friends. I love you and God does too! //
I doubt your mother sleeps well at night, looking over at you before she heads to bed, tears welling up in her eyes, before she closes the door and wishes she had done something about you before things got out of control, as she cries herself to sleep.
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2:16 pm
You are so bossy and unforgiving sometimes, Comedian! Yes, I have made a spelling error a few times in these comments. I just can’t keep up with these crazies besmirching my good name. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother… but then late at night I think of you. Yes, you! I truly feel that some day we can become friends and that I have a responsibility to make an effort to lead you to faith now that we’ve grown close. I believe that about many of you young people here. I know you get angry and silly, but at least we’re talking! And we’re talking about the glory of God! That does make me happy! And I want to feel that someday, maybe when you’re older and more mature, that you’ll recall your old friend Stephenson Billings and realize that my journalism about the corrupt liberal agenda, America’s loss of moral and economic primacy, and the danger of radical sex holds some truths that you will eventually come to agree with and ultimately cherish. I love you guys!
Warmly,
Stephenson
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7:21 pm
//Yes, I have made a spelling error a few times in these comments.//
Well, I wouldn’t exactly have a problem with that if you weren’t criticizing others for their grammar and spelling errors
//I just can’t keep up with these crazies besmirching my good name.//
What good name? You’re nothing but a liar and a fraud. You’ve been told that you’re wrong and with proof, and yet you whine, bitch, and cry like a child that’s not getting his way, and that’s exactly what you are: a child.
//And I want to feel that someday, maybe when you’re older and more mature, that you’ll recall your old friend Stephenson Billings and realize that my journalism about the corrupt liberal agenda, America’s loss of moral and economic primacy, and the danger of radical sex holds some truths that you will eventually come to agree with and ultimately cherish.//
Considering how I have said MULTIPLE FUCKING TIMES that you don’t know how old I am and you insist on calling me young, you’d think you’d get the hint by now.
As for your ‘journalism’ holding any truths, the fact is you’re blowing everything out of proportion and associating every single bad thing that happens with liberals, facts and truths be damned. What about all of the hypocrisy that conservatives are guilty of so much? What about all of the horrors and atrocities that conservatives have been responsible for? You want to ignore them and think that you’re absolutely flawless when it comes to your political views. Just because something goes against your views and beliefs, does not mean that it’s either evil or liberal. But you’re too blind to realize that, you’re too stupid to realize that conservatives aren’t perfect and guilty of a fair amount of crimes themselves, you’re too ignorant to have any amount of respect for other people and go ‘ya know what, you might have a point’. Nope, in your world, it’s entirely black and white, right and wrong, good and evil. No such thing as gray or in the middle or questionable actions, it’s either good or bad, and conservatives are the shining example of what ‘good’ is. That’s how you think, and that’s why you’re such a terrible person.
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8:10 am
Soooo…doesn’t the bible say something about bearing false witness? Why are you putting out blatant lies? Or is it that you are so ignorant that you really believe the drivel you’ve claimed in this “article”. Your “investigative” skills are nonexistent. You have been weighed. You have been measured. And you have been found SORELY WANTING.
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11:22 am
I am a fully credientialed and deeply experience professional Investigative Journalist with all the benefits that that entails. I pray that you show a bit more respect to your elders before defaming me and the Faith of Billions of people on this planet. Are you familiar with the work of Focus on the Family or the American Family Association? My work closely mirrors their inspired messages. Evangelicals and Tea Party Patriots represent the backbone of the conservative movement. Why are you liberals so blind to this fact?
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12:04 pm
//I am a fully credientialed and deeply experience professional Investigative Journalist with all the benefits that that entails.//
1. Claire has asked you several times to prove that you’re ‘fully credentialed’ and you have yet to prove such, so you’re a hack and a fraud.
2. You have about as much experience being a journalist as a newborn child does.
//I pray that you show a bit more respect to your elders before defaming me and the Faith of Billions of people on this planet.//
You tell people that grammar is key, and yet you go and make errors yourself. Funny.
Also, just because you’re older than someone, doesn’t mean that they should automatically respect you, especially when you disrespect everyone else. Respect is a two-way street asshat, remember that.
//Are you familiar with the work of Focus on the Family or the American Family Association? My work closely mirrors their inspired messages. Evangelicals and Tea Party Patriots represent the backbone of the conservative movement. Why are you liberals so blind to this fact?//
Why are you so blind to the truth? Why are you so hellbent on ruining everything for everyone? You take the simplest of things and blow them so wildly out of proportion that you make it look like the apocalypse is upon us.
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3:46 pm
If you truly think of yourself as an “investigative journalist” you wouldn’t have gotten almost EVERY one of your explanations wrong. I think there were 2 that you got remotely close. And you still tried to put a bullshit christian spin on it to make them seem “dirty”. So you are a disgrace to actual investigative journalists. Just because you write a bullshit article doesn’t make you a journalist.
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2:56 am
Printing your “credentials” off the internet doesn’t count. I saw you do it. I’m omnipotent. Also you’re not the majority. Only a third of the population identifies as “Christian”, and even then, the Catholic Corporation of Child Copulation fudges their statistics.
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2:14 am
If you are a fully credintialed and deeply experienced professionial investigative journalist, why was your “investigation” on this matter so shoddy? You’ve gotten 1 definition correct. You couldn’t even figure out what narwhal means. To clue you in, a narwahl is a whale. It has a single horn on it’s head which leads to the nickname “Unicorn of the Sea”. The reason for Reddit referencing the narwahl on a regular basis is that the crest Reddit uses has 2 narwahls on it. Yet, here’s what you had to say about it: “The precise definition of this term is unknown but is likely highly unpleasant.” Nice investigation, man. That dictionary is hard to read, I know.
As the co-creator of SpacePorn (the first of the SFW Porn sites), I can also tell you that your take on these sites is so far off base, it’s pathetic. I can’t decide if I should laugh or cry over this. We named it SpacePorn as a joke. A friend of mine and I used to trade high quality pictures of space between each other all the time. We called it SpacePorn, joking about how beautiful the pictures were. That’s it. No nefarious plans to create “A disturbing collection of photography where youths with questionable mental stability sexualize inanimate objects” existed. (BTW, (that means by the way, before you get it wrong, too) what is disturbing about these pictures?).
I wouldn’t be too proud of those skills you’re bragging about. They’re nonexistent, judging by this article.
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8:26 am
Lol you got every single thing wrong. Ps thanks for the link to r/lgbtgonewild. I was feeling kind of… frisky.
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8:49 am
Hey Stephenson, you’re a fucktard. That’s all.
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2:28 pm
I hope you know that the rest of nation are against the fundamenatlist christian you are technically a MINORITIES
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9:49 pm
It’s fairly obvious that you, as an “Investigative Journalist”, didn’t even attempt to investigate half of the things you wrote about. You’re just a narrow minded person and you’re “writing” shows it.
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7:52 am
chill out, this is clearly a joke
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3:42 pm
Nuh-uh! There won’t be any angry reddAtors, they are all trolling reddit searching for young teens! (You’d have to read the rest of that ridiculous bullshit post to understand)
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5:27 pm
According to this site, that’s REDDATORS, not redditors. UPVOTE ALL THE THINGS!
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5:45 pm
Oh, look, little Billings just discovered the real internet. Now Billings is afraid that his liberal beliefs will be proven false. Your communistic and atheist beliefs don’t work Billings, you dirty hippie.
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5:47 pm
“PNP – “Party and Play” (gay drug and sex orgy).” This is also a term used in the homosexual underground world.
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2:17 pm
The “homosexual world” is only underground in intolerant, ignorant and violent areas of the world, such as the rural parts of Afghanistan, of Somalia, and of the Southern U.S.A.
This isn’t journalism, it’s propaganda.
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1:36 am
http://www.layoutsparks.com/1/89619/lot-of-satan-symbol-31000.html
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1:37 am
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9:48 pm
Go fellow satanist
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8:15 pm
After reading through your list of acronyms and definitions I can only conclude that you are obviously joking, or clearly ignorant. At least attempt to perform some minimal level of research before you postulate this bull shit as fact. You give religious people everywhere a bad name.
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8:28 pm
But that would involve getting their facts straight and they cant have that. So, they don’t do any research and get everything wrong.
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9:12 pm
… I can’t even take this seriously. This site is like the largest troll of them all, your a hit on Reddit and are drawing in thousands for me to give people new stuff to laugh at!
Thanks for helping us promote Reddit.com, hope you make front page!
Happy fapping!
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9:54 pm
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
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2:33 pm
it’s not the logo of the band BAD RELIGION ?
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10:01 pm
This is so erroneously presumptive and wrong that this has to be an elaborate troll on some “Reddit Predator”‘s behalf. I seriously doubt that anyone can be this astoundingly stupid, and contain it all on one webpage.
Frankly, I believe that whoever wrote this made half of this up on sight, and the other half up while snorting ground up pages of the Bible. This really does not give Christians a name that reflects any kind of learning or intelligence at all.
To whomever is trolling so hard with this site, bravo, sir.
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11:23 pm
Hi Jordan and thank you for the comment. However, I must ask that you please enlighten us as to what elements of my journalism you find incorrect. I can assure you that my work is tirelessly researched and thoroughly factchecked, Good luck, my friend.
Stephenson Billings
Investigative Journalist
Hot debate. What do you think?
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11:40 pm
//However, I must ask that you please enlighten us as to what elements of my journalism you find incorrect//
What’s correct about this piece of shit has the shorter answer. For starters, hivemind means several people posting the same answer in a relatively short period of time, usually about an opinion or odd little factoid, and ‘ninja’ is supposed to be ‘ninja’d', and refers to someone posting an answer while you’re typing up yours and then finding out someone already said the same thing about a question that is not so odd.
//I can assure you that my work is tirelessly researched and thoroughly factchecked//
Bullshit it is. Not one single thing you put up there is true in the least bit. Lies are not facts asshole.
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8:56 am
And I cant wait until some clicks a NSFL and find out what that really means.
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11:48 pm
….He HAS to be a troll…..
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12:48 am
Nope, not even the creators of this site know who the hell he is. He’s completely legitimate in every way. Here’s the really sad part: he’s gotten BETTER. He once applauded the use of torture devices to prevent masturbation.
And not one line of writing was even remotely sarcastic.
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2:20 pm
Why does Christianity make you so afraid? We are trying to save YOUR souls! Please remember that my friends.
“But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.” –Luke 6:35.
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8:04 am
Right…like the time you used a picture of Kal Penn instead of Aziz Ansari and a picture of Ashton Kutcher instead of some other dude.
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3:51 pm
First of all, I wanted to apologize for any offense anyone has caused to you (Intended or not). Secondly, I would like to assure you, as an Evangelical Christian, and a Redditor, that most of your information is incorrect. It states on the Frequently Asked Question of the website what Reddit really stands for. Reddit is latin for “render”, and also for submitting something for aproval, aswell as being a play on words (I READ IT on REDDIT.)
Redditors are the people who browse reddit, the same as a driver drives and a teacher teaches.
Karma is nothing more that a “Like or Dislike”, or as I have come to find on this site, “Praise or Condemn”
While there are many things on there that wouldnt be safe to view at work, or not safe to view ever (Not Safe For Work/Not Safe For Life), There are boards devoted to those. They are in NO WAY pushed onto people, nor advertised at all.
Yes, there are some horrible things and horrible place on that website, but not anymore than in the real world, and the chances are if you are not trying to looking for them, you wont find them.
Too long;Didn’t Read (If the above was too long, I am providing a summary for you or any other readers): It seems like some of your information given to you was false. As a devote christian, I feel it is more than safe to browse reddit.
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10:35 pm
This…isn’t even true at all. reddit is more like “i read it” because it’s a site for sharing things you found that you feel are worth sharing. this guy has no clue what he’s talking about. also, billings’ picture looks more like dopey dwayne than kirk cameron- ARE YOU FAPPING TOO MUCH BILLINGS??
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11:25 am
The suggestion that I suffer from an addiction to persistent self gratification hurts me deeply and is an insult to my entire family. I would appreciate an apology if you feel wise enough for it. God bless, Carol.
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12:06 pm
Well, it’s TRUE, isn’t it? You get off on insulting others. You’re just a sleazeball.
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10:36 pm
//Reddit – The name is derived from the word “red,” connoting communism and “DIT,” the acronym for Dual Inheritance Theory. D.I.T. is a radical anti-Christian philosophy that proposes that human beings are the products of two influences– biological “evolution” and faddish cultural trends. Communism, evolution theory and trendiness– that is the “Red-dit” environment in a nutshell!//
Actually, it’s a funny way of saying ‘read it’, and using the past tense of the word ‘read’, as in ‘I read your bullshit before and you couldn’t back it up then, so why try now?’
//Reddator – A combination of “Reddit” and “Predator,” this is a user who dedicates several hours a day to cruising the site for sexual content and teenage boys and girls.//
No, it’s just someone who goes to Reddit a lot. Maybe if you actually went to the site once, you’d know that.
//Mod – A moderator in this circus of technological perversion. One who lifts up the red velvet rope of private subsections, censoring elder wisdom and cultivating the ramblings of the underage.//
I’m fairly certain you didn’t actually describe anything there. Let me tell you what a mod is though. A mod is someone who goes around and makes sure that everything is in proper order, and if there’s a problem, they fix it. This can be from technical issues such as broken links to taking down spam and such. I’m pretty sure if anything, you described what you do on a Sunday night after you’re done deep throating little boys.
//Admin – A kingmaker who threatens those who don’t “get with the program” with permanent banishment if they ask too many questions or post conservative, Christian viewpoints. These types collect “mods” like Jeffrey Dahmer collected victims, first stupefying the mind with a cocktail of rules and then using threats of admonishment to gain physical subservience.//
Uh, Stevie? I’ve got some friends I’d like to you meet, they want to take you to a place called the “Happy Hotel” and get some help with your issues.
An Admin is someone who runs the site and makes sure that the rules aren’t being broken. You’ve got rules here, you’ve got an admin here, does that mean you’re calling the people who run this site a bunch of rapists?
//Karma – The praise points one earns from fellow users for typing non-threatening comments that mirror common leftist ideologies. This is the great drug of the Reddit enterprise, a carrot held out before Reddators encouraging them to write and submit more and more as their insatiable thirst for peer acceptance dominates personal time and completely erases what remains of one’s real world social life.//
Ya know, this site has something similar, that praise and condemn bullshit you put up. Seems similar to what you’re saying about the karma system on Reddit.
Honestly, the rest is just total bullshit. “Submission” is literally sending in stories, the face emoticon is someone staring in disbelief, AMA has nothing to do with sex, TL;DR means ‘too long; didn’t read’, and OP means original poster.
You’re stupid Stevie, just too dumb and fucking stupid. Stop trying to act like you know what you’re talking about. What’s really sad is you made up this bullshit just so you could post the link up to it in some other bullshit you made up and act like it’s all official and go ‘hey, look, it’s a link to something, that means it’s true!’. No Stevie, no it’s not. Just because you SAY something doesn’t mean you’re RIGHT. In fact, most of the time, anything YOU say is WRONG.
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6:59 am
i think its funny as hell that Steve hasn’t really replied to you at all
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3:55 pm
Because he has no response to it. He’s only responding to the short insults with short answers saying “NUH-UH! I’M RIGHT!” He’s not smart enough to explain how he came up with such obvious bullshit.
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2:31 pm
Hi Comedian,
Funny enough, I went over to Reddit and read some of the comments on this article. The reaction seemed to be predictably shocked and stubborn, but many people testified to the truth of this list above. Almost every sentence has been quoted on Reddit with the words, “this is accurate” or “this is too true.”
I am not sure, Comedian, if you’re a member of that site but it seems that I am a bit more educated on the subject than you. In fact, once again you are revealing a very neurotic, paranoid side of your personality. Please remember, your friends love you and want you safe. I am here for you if you want to talk, or if you need spiritual counsel. Your obsessiveness and extreme bouts of anger are worrying.
Stay well,
Stephenson
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1:18 am
Just head to Reddit once in a while and you’ll see that it’s REALLY not as bad as you make it out to be.
Mr. Billings, buddy, you are what’s wrong with religion. Your articles predispose otherwise non-judgemental people to be biased against certain things, and for what reason? Are you that sure in all your beliefs that you need to go around teaching everyone else, you arrogant fuck?
Steve, you manage to make me angry and I haven’t even met you. I apologise if I’ve offended you. Final thing- your articles are not ‘tirelessly researched and fact-checked’ -we both know this is bullshit.
Thank you for your time,
Ashton
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2:18 am
My name is not “Steve,” it’s Stephenson. Please get that right!
Hot debate. What do you think?
3 
31
2:23 am
Whatever you say Steve.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
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2
1:17 pm
I have a question for you. How did you get all your information wrong sir? It frightens me that you call yourself a journalist. Journalists report facts and news. Are you sure you said nothing but facts when you posted this news article? I would like for you to reply to this. Explain to me sir how you came to your “facts”, because I’m seeing that most of them are wrong. I too go to reddit. No, I’m not a liberal. In fact if you really wanted to “brand” me with a label, I would be a libertarian. A true follower of the constitution itself. So catch your tongue before labeling me. It’ll just show ignorance. I hope to get a reply from you soon. Good Day.
/r/trees
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2:58 am
Son, he’s what we call an “idiot”. He hasn’t even been to Reddit.
…and I fucked your mother.
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1:59 am
This is hilarious. Everything is just blown so out of proportion that I can’t read a single line without laughing. How did this guy “research”? Did he honestly go on Reddit, create an account, and ask people about the acronyms and stuff? I sincerely would like to know what he did to “research” these things.
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2:00 am
Don’t let this guy have kids!!!! NEVER!
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2:01 am
Thanks for this hilarious article. You couldn’t possibly be more wrong about this list of definitions! Yes, there are some parts of reddit that aren’t that appetizing, but it actually represents a real slice of the real world around you, like it or not.
I’m relieved that no one with an IQ above room temperature could possibly take you seriously, otherwise you might be a danger to society with this feloniously false drivel.
TL;DR. HAHAHA!
It means Too Long, Didn’t read.
Also, ಠ_ಠ is the Look of Disapproval, something you should be very familiar with by now. Thanks for the Lulz. (that means I laughed my 60 yr old ass off at you).
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2:36 am
Youknow, I usually like religious people. They’re often pretty nice, sensible and understanding. I mean, most of the one’s I’ve met anyway. It’s too bad you came along STEVIE! The only thing I can say about this is:
WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Go you! Trying to protect children and bring up awareness of shit like this. But honestly? You picked the wrong site. And you put those pics up for what reason? To illustrate your point? This is a religious page. The URL has the word Christ in it. And for some psychologically fucked reason, you felt the need to put those pictures on this site.
Well done STEVIE. You’ve taken first for writing the most unintentionally bullshit article in the world.
Well done
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2:47 am
Is this honestly a serious post?
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3:07 am
Dear Author,
Your five minutes on Reddit.com seem to have caused a lot of ruckus – considering that you’ve got many of the terms wrong. Whether this be from your own error (likely), or that you did not bother to verify the accuracy of your information (very likely), or that you’re a complete moron (most likely)
Let me fix your ignorance for you, that way, you’re not looking like a complete fool (just mostly like one)
AMA stands for ‘Ask Me Anything’ – a subreddit (sub community) that invites people of many occupations, religions, activities, or even celebrities to have users post them questions, which they respond to.
NSFW = Not Safe For Work – meaning, don’t open this at work as it may contain content your coworkers may not like, or could get you fired.
NSFL = Not Safe for Life; the link to this site was actually part of it; we laugh at your ignorance. Honestly, how could you be so stupid to post inaccurate information?
ಠ_ಠ is the look of disapproval, which I give you for creating such a bigotted, ignorant review of the website. Many other parts of your article are just plain bullshit.
Do you like to God, too? You’re certainly leading the other sheep astray with this one, Wolf.
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11:29 am
I feel like I need a bath after reading that foul comment! Keep your nasty habits to yourself, buddy.
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14
12:05 pm
So what you’re saying is, you’re a liar and a terrible person? You aren’t even going to acknowledge that he’s right? You’re nothing but a coward.
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4:06 pm
I love how you read this whole thing, and took nothing away from it. He pointed out just a few of the MAJOR mistakes you made in this “article” and all you had to say was “ew i feel dirty”. Some “investigative journalist” you are.
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6:06 pm
I don’t take requests Christopher and I am under no obligation to respond to every tirade and threat. Get over yourself. Have you ever in your life experienced humility? Have you ever asked God to forgive your sins or acknowledged them in the first place? I truly wonder…
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6:11 pm
Ooh, let me guess, Billings: you’re not the DJ at his local disco, right?
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7:28 pm
Stevie, how many times have you EVER admitted to being wrong? NOT ONE FUCKING TIME. Don’t act like you know what humility is Stevie, you have no idea. When you insist that you’re right and everyone else is wrong, that’s not being humble, that’s being stupid.
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4:52 am
Claire, thank you for reminding me. Indeed, I am not the DJ at your local disco and I DO NOT TAKE REQUESTS!
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4:33 am
I sincerely hope that you realize how unbelievably stupid you sound, Stephenson Billings. You have made a fool of yourself and this website by stating as fact things that you essentially made up, you know absolutely nothing about the community you have chosen to condemn, and you make not just yourself and this website, but the Christian church as a whole look foolish. I really hope your proud of yourself seeing as you have done nothing other than embarrass yourself and the people you have chosen to represent. In addition, I was more thorough in my research for a high-school newspaper than you are for this website, which is honest to god trashy. Figure out what the hell your doing before saying anything else that makes you look even stupider.
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4:34 am
Steve, like I always say. Don’t let the haters get you down. Just because you have a tiny dick doesn’t mean that God doesn’t love you. God doesn’t love you because you have so much hate in your heart. Steve, you see evil where there is none. You truly need to find Jesus and I hope that one day you will see the light.
By the way. Your wife says “Hi,” I guess, her mouth was kind of full.
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6:04 am
“Time Magazine’s “Person of the Year” in 2006″
I like your pathetic attempt to make it seem like you’re someone worthy of note. This article shows what a obvious idiot you are. Someone who can’t even take the times to investigate a community based on the very internet you post this story.
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7:18 am
I liked the racy images in this article. Thanks for posting them Stevie!
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7:39 am
Wow, this was good for a laugh. Isn’t one of the 10 commands “Thou shalt not lie?” 99% of this entire articles is lies. As Christians, you should be ashamed of yourselves for putting up this nonsense.
If you don’t like some of the content on Reddit, you don’t have to look at it. If you don’t want to see the world from other peoples points of view, don’t go on Reddit. It’s as simple as that.
If you’re scared of knowledge corrupting your youth, maybe you just need to give them more of the coolaid.
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2
8:30 am
lol you mad bro?
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9:03 am
I hope this is a brilliant joke and not meant as a serious article. The definition of AMA cracked me up!! Please, please tell me that no one is stupid enough to believe any of this??
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9:24 am
Can’t tell if troll…or if serious.
ಠ_ಠ
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11:50 am
Has anyone noticed this article can be shared on reddit? Look to the right of the first picture.
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0
12:01 pm
Surely this isn’t real. Please be an enormous troll.
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12:16 pm
I loled. IMA GO FAP NOW.
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12:57 pm
LOL. Dude I think you don’t know shit about reddit. LMAO we’re communists LMAO. Wow, so anyway, thanks for showing your ignorance. I enjoy reading things that people just have no knowledge of. /r/trees motherfucker.
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2:17 pm
Yes, this website is FULL of inappropriate “sub-reddits” (as they call it). Such as:
http://www.reddit.com/r/christianity
http://www.reddit.com/r/republican
http://www.reddit.com/r/Conservative/
Complete bullshit site, if you ask me. These people are giving literally EVERYONE a chance to speak their mind. We can’t have that, this is America!
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2:51 pm
red for communist ???
I thought the republican color was RED ?? so you are communist too ?
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3:10 pm
“Ignorance is the source of all evil”
There are “share this on reddit” links all around your article. Keep your opinion and assumptions to yourself, report facts. You have been corrected again and again, so I’m sure that you know that this article is faulty. I would remove it to avoid further embarrassment.
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3:17 pm
also, communism? are you kidding me? you’re making connections that aren’t even there. What does a political system have to do with a website? Honestly.
and YOU watch YOUR language, mister. The way that you portray various portions of the site make us sound like groveling idiots with our hands down our pants.
Also, the clip art is from the 90′s. I hope you are aware of your weighty biases. Good day, sir.
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1:01 am
communisim is one of the webs greatest threats.
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3:21 pm
Narwhals, EVERYONE knows what a Narwhal is.
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/484667
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3:28 pm
A redditors’ guide to religion and this website:
Jesus – Nice guy from about 2000 years ago
God – Invisible Sky Wizard
Bible – Fan fiction
Religion – The reason for the Crusades, 9/11, the Holocaust, Westboro Baptist Church
Stephenson “Steve” Billings – Troll
christwire.org – Where thought and knowledge come to die
I hope this helps! I encourage the readers of christwire.org to join the community over at reddit and contribute to the conversation.
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2
3:36 pm
The factual inaccuracies in this article are laughable. Did Stephenson Billings, the “Investigative Journalist” (sic) who wrote this article, do any due diligence at all? My guess is no.
Additionally, the term “investigative journalist” is not capitalized because it is not a proper noun, unless the intent here is to refer to a superhero named “Investigative Journalist” or something.
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2:36 pm
It’s a professional title, like Doctor or Your Majesty.
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4:57 pm
Um…no, its not. Also, I think you meant to say like Doctor or Esquire. Which is still wrong in your case. So, Mr. Billings, Non-investigative Mud Slinger, please back down.
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3:46 pm
Name says it all. Seriously this is the most retarded thing I’ve read since the bible
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0
4:06 pm
Jesus wrote a blank check, one I haven’t cashed yet.
AND WITH TROLLS LIKE YOU, I PROBABLY WON’T DO IT ANYTIME SOON!
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1
4:47 pm
Seeing as the other Redditors that have come here (you know who they are) have been nothing but immature, I’d like to pitch in my perspective on this article.
It is worth noting that I’ve been a Christian for about 14 years now. That said, why don’t I ask the cliche question, WWJD?
Seriously, Billings. What have you to gain from slashing away at a social networking, user-submitted content website that’s clearly designed for and driven by my generation (college-age students)?
Are you so determined to shock the people that come to this site by pointing how how evil the rest of the world is?
Surprise, Billings. The world is an evil place. The internet is an evil place. Why? Both are filled by you, me, and the other few billion humans that fell in Genesis and have been screwing up ever since. Guess what? We suck. We’re children of God, but we suck. That’s why the bad crap on Reddit exists.
I won’t go into detail about the several misdirections and misconceptions about the way Reddit works, though granted, some of it is true and quite inappropriate (part of the whole point is that you can customize what you see – for instance, I see content that falls under “funny,” but not content that falls under “jailbait” or “trees”). What I -will- grill you on is the fact that you are very much failing to remotely reach the standard that you have set for yourself by calling yourself a Christ follower – moreso than is average, since none of us can actually reach God’s level of virtue.
The content that you’re publishing is completely irreverent of the fact that God loves every single person that goes on Reddit. The content that you’re publishing is metaphorical kindling for the fires at which people not of our belief mock us. By writing this article, you have provided the internet with yet another example of why Christians are terrible, terrible hypocrites.
As you’ve been saying to the commenters here, and as it is true, God loves you. He also loves me, “ROFLChristfags,” “Brbrbrbr,” the creators and moderators of Reddit, and every other person on the planet. Who are you to treat us (Redditors) as less because we exercise free speech?
Dear Mr. Billings, please rethink the manner in which you not only judge others, but present your judgement. I’m going to go back to Reddit now and browse the insightful, entertaining, and intellectual content that drew me to the site in the first place. You should come too. Just block /r/politics, /r/trees, /r/worldnews, and whatever else you don’t approve of. Sure, there’s a lot of college-aged humor. Doesn’t mean you won’t enjoy some of it.
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6:23 pm
So.. Basically you’re a religious conservative who is attempting to slander a website that never did anything to you.
So yeah, I’m over it.
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6:29 pm
This has got to be some kind of joke. There is no way that this guy is that dumb. It’s just not physically possible. Here is my opinion: best case scenario: this is a joke; worst case: it’s propaganda. This is why I hate the left and right wings equally.
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7:44 pm
Sorry but most of these are incorrect and can be easily Googled what kind of a third grade author do you have they barely scratch the surface its obvious they didn’t really use the site and their so called investigative journalism was basic at best. P.S. who doesn’t know what a narwhal is.
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7:55 pm
What’s a narwhal?
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11:04 pm
http://library.thinkquest.org/3500/Narwhal.html
This is.
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11:06 pm
A narwhal was the beast that satan rode across the oceans to spread his filthy lies and perversion as far and wide as he possibly could.
It is a vicious horned creature that would drink the blood of the innocents on it’s days off, which were few and far between as satan did not believe in holidays or overtime.
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11:13 pm
Dude, since I am pretty sure you are trying to troll the trolls of the trolls, I will let you in on a little secret. Shut up, and stop trying to troll. You fail at it so hard.
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11:23 pm
A little secret is shut up? Or you left out the little secret because it is a secret and therefore would no longer be a secret?
Apparently you fail at either keeping secrets or do not completely understand the concept of what one is.
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11:26 pm
No, the secret was shut up.
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11:34 pm
You should be the one to shut up before jesus shots you in the face for your blasphemy and narwhal worship.
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11:42 pm
Dude…may i address you as dude, since you already used it i am assuming that is ok with you?
This secret of yours, i don’t mean to be the bearer of bad news, but it is appearing, on the internet.
I can only hope that you are able to gain some form of satisfaction in the knowledge that i will personally endeavour to keep the secret myself, but i can obviously not guarantee what other users of the internet will do with this secret.
With any luck it will all blow over and we can all go back to tea and scones in the near future.
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1
3:00 am
Jesus isn’t the Blob. You’d be two with christ. A party of two. A very boring party.
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8:59 pm
You left out r/spacedicks! What the fuck?
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10:59 pm
Oh my Dear lord
Thank you christwire for pointing out this morally corrupt website that is surely the work of satan himself.
I will be sure to ad this reedit website to my net nanny asap so that my children are not corrupted by such vile filth.
I pray for the all the reedators souls
Christ be with you
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11:31 pm
The narwhale is an abomination, it is not a pure animal but horrible cross breed to serve Satan and his minions. it is proof that evolution is a lie and that Jesus nad Satan created all of the animals and people. Obviously satan created the kiddy fuckers who use reddit and jesus created us good people. The internet is for sluts and whores who do not want to accept the love that god gives us all
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11:36 pm
So, if the narwhal is a crossbreed, what two animals made it? Please, let me know.
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11:39 pm
A UNICORN AND A WHALE
ha ha ha your an ideot if you can’t see that. You should open your eyes and see that Satan is the one who conTrolls the internet. You should get out now before you turn into a homo and have to move to san fransico. Your family will weep and nash their teeth and Satan will laugh and the lamentation of your women
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1:36 am
Dude, I know your a troll, but still, that’s kinda rude.
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4:45 pm
As opposed to telling people to shut up, which, while I agree was mighty neighbourly of you, doesn’t necessarily fall on the side of politeness in most cases.
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4:55 pm
Alright, I will put it very politely. Please stop the sounds coming from your mouth. They are very annoying to those of us here trying to use our brains.
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5:43 pm
Apart from the whole typing on a keyboard rather than actually speaking thing, that is a very sound argument you present.
I would put it to you that you could place a post it note over my comments as they are easier to move to another section of the screen while scrolling down.
Although you do seem to keep coming back to read them anyway.
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1
5:49 pm
Cause I find responding to your insane rantings rather therapeutic. It helps to make me a kinder person in the long run.
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6:07 pm
Truly we are Simon and Garfunkel or perhaps even Sonny and Cher if I were to be so bold.
As long as I am the Skipper, you can be my Gilligan and even though I would beat you with my terry toweling hat, it doesn’t mean I care any less.
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2
12:22 am
^This has gotten way out of hand AND IM LOVING IT!
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8:39 pm
I love how they still have not gotten anything they write correct. It shows how little respect they have for the truth.
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3:16 pm
R/Atheism just raised 150k dollars for Doctors without Borders….what did you do yesterday? From what I hear, prayers aren’t feeding the poor. Also, your article has so many incorrect facts, I am revoking your “journalistic” credentials.
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4:03 pm
I’ve participated in Doctors Without Borders. Good program. I’ve also personally donated far more than 150k to various charities, so what have you done today?
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10:40 pm
I am a Redditor, Christian (Extremely actively too), and straight. This is the funniest thing I’ve ever read. Honestly you are the best comedian ever. Let’s go over your terms shall we?
*Reddit = Red+D.I.T.
No. Reddit is Read it. It’s a link sharing site. We aren’t Communists and even (Sane) Christians agree to evolution.
*Reddator = Reddit + Predator
No. It is someone who frequents Reddit. Hate to tell you this, but it’s Redditor too. There’s no Itor in Predator.
*Mod = Some kind of evil bouncer.
They actually keep bad things from showing up, nice try.
*Admin = Slave owner who forces people to obey
I’ve never seen this, they are the ultimate order keepers, they get rid of dicks, maybe why you got “Banished” ;D
*Karma = A reward for writing and an evil drug
That’s like saying people thinking something cool is evil. And I have a social life, lot’s of us do, sorry.
*AMA = STD Post
Actually it’s AskMeAnything, 99% of those have nothing to do with STD’s. They’re people talking about their lives.
*Bacon = Jew
What?
*Fap
Only true one here.
*FTFY = Free Tugs for You
Nope. Fixed That For You. It’s a joke for fixing someones post. What does Free tugs for you even mean? Lmao.
*Hivemind = Evil wrath of group
I… *Facepalm*
*ILF/MD = I love (Fe)Male Dominance
Never heard this, but I know it isn’t that LMAO.
*”I Rape Cats” = Fraud
I’m in tears, you made that shit up.
*Narwhal = ???
An animal.
*Ninja = Asian
LMAO, no.
*Novelty Account = Rapist
Made for jokes, not rape. Espionage? Like spies? What?
*NSFW/L = Not Safe for Watching
Not Safe For Work/Life.
*OP = Opinionated bitch
Original Poster, or the one who made the link.
*PNP = Gay Drug Sex Orgy
What this means, I don’t know, but Gay drug sex orgy isn’t it. Also, gays are people too.
*Saydrah = Fake woman for cash
I’m in tears.
*Submission = Being dominated
I think what you made here is a Submission. Or post.
*TL;DNR
Actually it’s too long did not read.
*VMπ + Vampire
Huh?
*ಠ_ಠ – High on halluinogen. No it’s a disapproving look.
Also, you have a button above your picture saying post to Reddit. Nice. That’s not ironic or anything.
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