• Strippers: Are They Evil Whoelot Prostitues, or The Only Thing Saving the Economy?

    September 14, 2011 9:25 am 39 comments
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  • A Golden Rule...

    In this horrible economy craeted by the Kenyan dictator named Obama, we have only 2 classes, the rich and the very, very poor. Fortunately, we have one group of people who have found a way to live between these class structures. Strippers aka “Exotic Dancers” have made a niche in this “New World Order”. These are beautiful women who understand that they look good enough for people to give them money for moving around on a stage randomly. Strippers, like most Rock or Hipped Hopper bands, have figured out how to take your money and not care about you in the slightest. Just like with any music artist, you feel like this person really “gets you”, but then $40-500 later, you realize that all they actually got of you was your money.

    The fact of the matter is though, If you didn’t give these girl’s (or sometimes men) your money, you could be out of a job! I’m here to tell you why…

    #1. When a dancer walks up to you and requests that you purchase a “dance” from her for $20, she is bolstering the economy, not just trying to take $20 from you by rubbing her “Bottom Pillows” on your “Dirty Spire”. Part of that money goes to the bar she works for, part goes to the Bartender, part goes to Security, part goes to the DJ, part goes to the Owner of the Club, part goes to her pimp/drug dealer and, only then does she make any money off of that dance. That is alot of people to pay from just one dance, and all of those people are using that money to buy “Goods and Services” from the community.

    No, She really thinks you're hot...

    #2. When you watch a person dressed in baggy jeans and a “sports team” jersey walk to the stage and throw a bunch of money in the air, or “Making it rain”, you can be pretty sure that they are drug dealers or people that will never tip for the rest of the night. A True gentleman will give these ladies at least $5 per song, if not $20 and also tip the DJ, Security and Bartender. Unfortunately, Drugs run rampant in Strip Clubs, so if you see somebody “make it rain”, and then not tip anybody else including dancers, that means you have spotted a drug dealer who is “tipping” the dancer, but with the money she had already paid him for her marijuana injections or her LSD meth laced extasy droplets(she will give it right back to him after her set plus whatever she made on stage).

    Buffet and a show???  Awesome...

    #3. Strippers spend thousands of dollars on make-up and hair care products. This fact alone is stimulating the economy. These dancers are not buy $1.99 Pert Plus shampoo or even $3.99 Dove soap, they are buying $40-50 soaps and shampoo, because even the really fat guy’s don’t want to get close to a “stinky” stripper. The more “body care” items they buy(which includes tampons, douches and I.U.D’s), the more money our economy brings in.

    Please do this...

    #4. These dancers buy more costumes than you can imagine. No matter how large your wardrobe is, you have 1/3 of the outfits of a normal stripper. Sure, they can’t wear most outside without getting a Public Indecency charge, but they still pay for these outfits. They are keeping local and national seamstresses in business, and also the stores that sell these outfits. We need to help keep our Fashion industry in America, instead of sending it over to Communist child labor countries.

    This is what happens when you support child labor...

    So, after pointing out 4 things about strippers(male or female), I have come to the definite conclusion that they without a doubt, the one thing saving our economy, and also evil prostitutes. Go find yourself a Stripper and try to save Him/Her from their lives of sin, but remember to keep paying that money into our economy or else you will see this on public transportation everyday…

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    About The Author
    Bruce Myron Danus Years of Mental Gymnastics, and lots of love from Jesus has made this man realize he was not "Born this Way", but instead chose to be a Homogay until he met God and realized God doesn't make mistakes like a homogay.

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