• Trash TV: Jersey Shore’s Snooki Snozzles Vinny’s Salami, Cheats on Jionni’s Meatballs

    September 30, 2011 8:37 am 32 comments

    We ask why teenagers and college students are so sultry and slutty these days, then we see shows like Toddlers and Tiaras and trash tv’s graduate level course, Jersey Shore.

    Parents, television is to blame for our children being so nasty.  How can we let them watch show after show of betrayals, scant clothing and nasty clubroom antics, then expect them to be our little pillars of morality and shining lighthouses of decency to their friends troubled souls, lost in a storm of dark secularism?

    The answer is they cannot.  Today’s object lesson comes from the most recent episode of children’s show Jersey Shore.  Jersey Shore is the real-flesh equivalent of equally bad children’s show, South Park.  Just like South Park, the show features Jewish characters who stand against the every tenet of Christianity.

    The main character on Jersey Shore is a nafka named Snooki Serretino.  Snooki is a ‘professional party-girl’ who likes to test every type of meat, kosher and non.  She has already had an affair with her cousin who goes by the name “The Situation” and regularly exposes her unclad flesh on live camera.  Keep in mind the show has a PG rating, meaning somehow Hollywood thinks this show is appropriate for pretty much all ages.

    On last night’s episode of Jersey Shore, entitled “Snooki’s Slimy Seconds”, Snooki cheated on two men in one episode.  In typical fashion, the show started out with the Italian-Jewish desperado ‘The Situation’ asking his cousin if he could plant his kabob in her musky gardens.  Surprisingly, Snooki turned downt his invitation.

    In demand: Earlier in the episode the pint-sized reality star shunned the advances of 'The Situation'

    Snooki revealed she was too depressed to ‘fool around’ on camera because her boyfriend, Jionni, got upset about her revealing her secret place and spreading her seperator flap for all the world to see on camera the week before.  Jionni was so upset he flew back to New Jersey from the show’s airing place in Little Jerusalem, in Italy.

    Instead of having Snooki time with The Situation, the little midget Jezebel went to a day club and started getting drunk.  She announced her plans to get drunk and sleep with as many men as possible to all the patrons at the bar.  MTV tried to pass this off as acceptable behavior for young women, which may reveal why over 83% of women in college these days are loose harlots and are not virgins by their sophomore year.

    Party spirit: She shocked fellow revellers as she danced around the bar in the daytime saying she was trying to get over her heartbreak

    At the club, Snooki became very drunk and tripped on the stairs as she tried to leave a few hours later.

    Inconsolable: Snooki collapsed in a heap on the steps to her apartment after failing to work things out

    The Jersey Shore advocates ‘the quick fix hookup’, that is, they teach women that the best way to get over an argument is to get drunk and sleep with the first man you see.  Is this why there is so much disease spreading through our college children?

    Snooki met a random Italian-Jew named Vinny Goldman.  Vinny and Snooki canoodled a bit, which always leads to bad things.

    Heating up: Things started with a cuddle... but quickly developed into more

    And a few minutes later:

    Getting cosy: Snooki got between the sheets with Vinny in last night's episode of Jersey Shore following a heated row with her boyfriend Jionni

    And naturally, pregnancy acts:

    Steamy: The pair got up close and personal after a night out clubbing in Florence, Italy

    The next day, Snooki could feel she was infected with pregnancy.  On live TV, she had her drunken womb potentially impregnated and all these girls are thinking she’s such a cool rebel for doing this. 

    Snooki cries to her friend Deena about getting pregnancy and no telling what other diseases for the day before:

    Freaking out: Deena told J-Woww she feared she was pregnant on account of feeling 'dizzy'

    Why is America celebrating this culture?  These Jersey Shore misfits are making millions of dollars, spreading bad values and standing against the message of The Torah. What a shame for the Jewish people to have such another ‘children’s show’ on their hands.

    Show:  Jersey Shore, Episode:  Snooki’s Slimy Seconds

    Moral Rating:  D (Debauchery) for:  exposing bared separator flap on television, drug use, incesting kisses, cultural disrespect, advocates drunkeness, bad language, exposed harlotry, pregnancy inducing acts shown on television

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    About The Author
    Dan Nordgren Born and raised in upstate New York, Dan Nordgren is currently a film student who enjoys martial arts, mountain climbing and football as components of his very active life. Join Team Sarah TODAY

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