Update: Scarlett Johansson Phone Hacked Scandal, FBI Is Probably Getting Involved
Yesterday pant thougts of pants tightening sins threatened the world after actress Scarlett Johansson’s phone was allegedly hacked, leaving lusty photos of her exposed to the public.
Celebrity news rag TMZ is now reporting the FBI will probably get involved with this issue soon, as it may be part of a coordinated effort to obtain scandalous celebrity photos for profit.
ChristWire broke the news of the story yesterday, detailing lurid reports of Johansson caught in intimate moments of steamy frustration and unclothed emanciption, twirling around on her bed in unabashed sensuality.
What’s disturbing about all this, is that the man who hacked Johansson’s phone has also managed to get into the phones of: Vanessa Hudgens, Renne Olstead, Natalie Portman, Miley Cyrus (here), Diana Argon, Sarah Palin, Jessica Alba (here), Kat Dennings (here), Christina Aguilera (here), and Blake Lively (here).
If you’re married, he likely has photo nasties of your wife as well and you should take her cell phone away or keep a live feed on it, because women just cannot be trusted to not be naughty with communication technology. If there is one thing these phone and leaked picture scandals have taught us, is that women cannot be trusted to not take nasty pictures of themselves and send it to their ex-boyfriends on Facebook or via phone text message. So maybe, the lesson from all this is if you have a wife, you should hack into her phone and her Facebook. You should get into her email too. Most likely, you will be unpleasantly surprised about the little naughty, backstabbing vixen she is.
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Author: Thad Connely
The gentleman of choice, Thad Connely brings experience of two familial generations of news coverage and hard biting reports.
7:20 pm
Thanx for the fap material.
fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap
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8:41 pm
Girls should not have cellular telephones or cameras.
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9:10 pm
Actually, this is the reason that they should. Also, you sir should not have a computer. See I can make wild claims too. So there.
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10:43 am
“Girls should not have cellular telephones or cameras.”
No, girls shouldn’t. But women can. Last time I checked Scarlett Johansson was a woman. Boys shouldn’t either.
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10:54 am
Claire, If I had purchased you that cellular telephone with the camera and access to the interwebs on it, this could have been you. Do you still not understand the dangers that technology poses to weak-minded?
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10:58 am
Oh, we all understand the dangers of the internet on the weak minded. You are its poster child.
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11:02 am
Have you forgotten what we’ve talked about on facebook?
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9:31 pm
I see someone has made it to the ‘I’m rubber, you’re glue’ phase of their teenaged life.
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9:45 pm
Well, since most kids hit that at 5 or 6, and I’m 22, I think I’m pretty far past that. But, i could be wrong. I don’t know.
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9:50 pm
you are the most pompiss emosexual to ever come here
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9:53 pm
I’m sure there are others. Trust me on this, there are other worse “emosexuals” on here.
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3:01 am
Where did this guy come from he just show’s up and act’s like he’s been here for year’s i mean really come on. You have a lot of work to do before your a Susan or Tyson. or even LN for that.
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3:29 am
well at least he is on the right side.
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4:33 am
And you, good sir, cannot spell worth a damn. Pray on it… let me know how it turns out, okay?
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6:49 pm
pompiss? sure, because pompiss is not a word, and therefore has no meaning and cannot be a word. And well, Damien has already acknowledged being an emosexual, like a good number of us, so its not insulting to call someone a term they proudly use to describe themselves. You fail at making insults.
Pompous perhaps? Now that is a real word, which i would use to describe you and your little Jesus freak friends.
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6:50 pm
I love Kat Dennings. I wish i had boobs like hers.
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2:11 pm
Spell check!
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