• 50 Exotic Ohio Animals Escape Confines, Shot By Podunk Cops

    October 21, 2011 4:30 am 1 comment

    I’m not an animal rights activist by any means, but when there’s stories of 50 Exotic Ohio Animals Escape Confines something makes me wonder if someway, somehow, humans didn’t do something to create that situation.  Especially, when we find out the animals were being stored in some noplace named Zanesville, Ohio, and the end result of those animals escaping are pictures like this:

    101911cat.jpg

    Oh, is that a lion carcass?  I know shootin’ and huntin’ are about the highlight of life for most little cities in Flyover Country, but I’m not buying the whole concept of ‘we had to shoot ‘em all because the sunlight was givin’ way’ defense.  If there’s one thing I do know about visiting small towns, is that the hicks that inhabit it have plenty of tranquilizer darts laying all over the place.

    I don’t want to be accused of dramatic journalism, so I won’t accuse the good people of Zanesville of creating an animal massaquere but I will say shoddy Ohio law that lets any thick-skulled knucklehead obtain lions, tigers, cheetahs, camels, giraffes, bears and so on, yes, all these animals were owned by someone, released into the public and happily shot down by the local townsfolk:

    It’s like a macabre Noah’s ark, the animals lined up every which way in a blood spattered mess of spent guts and natural innocence.  When animals like this are in America, they belong in a zoo or a preserve watched over by trained staff.  Johnny Citizen should not have these animals, and so many, in his possession.

    Of all the animals, there is still a monkey on the loose but I’m pretty sure anything resembling a brown primate is prime target practice in a place like Zanesville, so expect to see a little Curious George carcass being carried by a man with a yellow star on his hat, because as we all know, little capuchin monkeys will maul you dead as they are the most fierce and crafty beast in the animal kingdom.

    Deadly, I tells ya.  At any rate, I’m not PETA member but this story makes me sick.  Very shameful and in all of this, let’s hope Ohio passes more stringent exotic animal laws.

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    About The Author
    Dan Nordgren Born and raised in upstate New York, Dan Nordgren is currently a film student who enjoys martial arts, mountain climbing and football as components of his very active life. Join Team Sarah TODAY

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