Ashton Kutcher is slated to become the highest paid tv actor in Hollwood and in a complete shock to everyone, he’s left his nearly 50-year-old wife for a taut and tanned Los Angeles party girl. Is Charlie Sheen and his demons to blame for this infidelity?
Swinging machetes and tiger’s blood, a sure sign of demonic possession. Some say Charlie Sheen’s greatest personal demons may have been that of crack cocaine and celebrity arrogance and they just may be correct. But since the man who was the highest paid actor on television, rich for his role on television show Two and a Half Men, was kicked out of the studios he’s vowed revenge on any ‘scab’ that dared to ‘his job’.
It did not take executives long to find a replacement for Sheen. They hired actor Ashton Kutcher, who to date had been happily married to Demi Moore, an actress from the 1970s whose known for botched plastic surgery and has three kids. Kutcher, 32, was set to become the highest paid actor in Hollywood after taking Sheen’s role.
The marriage of Kutcher and Moore was very happy, with the biggest infidelity being Kutcher’s occassional boyishness causing him to post naughty images of Demi on Twitter. Fast forward until now, where every single story about Ashton pushing random hot college women against the walls at restuarants in Los Angeles and thrusting them until liquid DNA was produced and knocking up Kmart special versions of his beautiful, elderly wife and hosing down Demi Moore’s best friend on the family’s couch and well, you get the point. There were countless, pointless accusations by the liberal media and with the strong unity seen between Demi and Kutcher, they were clearly cases of yellow journalism meant to make marriage seem trivial and not serious.
All accusations were fine until last week, when reports came to surface about Ashton and two of his buddies going out on the town for Ashton’s anniversary with Demi Moore. Why Ashton and Demi weren’t spending time together on their wedding anniversary is beyond me, but allegations are that Ashton went clubbing for ‘hot-tub worthy’ women in LA. After a hearty search, he was seen leaving the club with a ‘beautiful blond’ and purportedly could not keep his hands off.
I could not believe these horrible attacks against a good marriage, much like media tried to do Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith, but then the inevitable. Evidence:
How could this young man be tempted to cheat on his wife, so wise with years and body perfectly patched by surgeons is beyond me.
Has society really reached a point where we’re so vain and shallow, that marriages are just thrown away when a little slim-waited, firmed body sashays in and wants to do the sin stroke in a hot tub with you?
It’s tempting to blame these waning morals in marriage on the gay agenda spreading homosexual marriage throught the country, making marriage seem more like a perverted joke than a holy oath.
But even beyond the gays is another threat: Charlie Sheen.
Kutcher is being afflicted with Sheen’s Curse. Look at that image above. It’s not the clean cut Ashton we’ve all come to know and love. It’s the face of a casanova juggalo, hair looking like he’s a Black Veiled Bride emosexual and gruffy beard like a Mexican Don Juan. Look at those eyes lusting for the flesh of the drunk girl in the back seat.
It all looks Satanic and Kutcher’s mind is going down the same path as Charlie Sheen’s. Maybe Charlie knows something that we do not?
In Japan, the nation is mostly atheist but in their ancient history, there was a practiced religion named kami shinto. This religion has to do with weird chants, phallic festivals and rice birthing ceremonies. The rituals are terrifying and only known by oral tradition in Japan, usually with elders in rural areas only allowed to officially retell to any followers and tourists who want to hear them.
While in Japan, Sheen apparently heard of this and also visited a village, where he learned how of the Japanese deity of infidelity and mischief, named Oshikuru.
Researching Oshikuru’s tie-ins with Two and a Half Men Reveal a very startling revelation. On one episide, Charlie Sheen and the rest of the cast on Two and a Half Men held a summoning ceremony for Oshikuru. To do this, there has to be much ancient Japanese chanting, illicit acts of flesh and worst of all, the warm blood from a freshly killed Tiger has to be consumed by all participants.
To this very day, we know Charlie Sheen is still addicted to the dangerous drink, one that causes an ancient, evil spirit of infidelity to be summoned.
WARNING: IN THE FOLLOWING VIDEO MEDIA, AN ANCIENT DEMON THAT IS WORSHIPPED IN JAPAN IS BEING SUMMONED BY CHARLIE SHEEN ON THE SHOW TWO AND A HALF MEN. THIS DEMON IS RESPONSIBLE FOR FORCING MEN TO CHEAT ON THEIR WIVES BY USE OF PHEREMONES AND MIND CLOUDING. THIS DEMON MAKES FLESH TOUCHING ADDICTIVE FOR THE BRAIN. PLEASE FIRST PRAY THEN DEMAND ANY WOMEN/CHILDREN LEAVE THE ROOM BEFORE VIEWING.
The truth is revealed. The Oshikuru demon resides on the set of Two and a Half Men. Charlie Sheen lost control of his life, the demon forcing him to do harder drugs, drink Tiger’s blood and swing machetes from rooftops while not caring about his well paying job.
And the demon knew once Ashton Kutcher entered the stage for the show, it would have a new prey. Now already, Kutcher’s marriage may be in ruins and sadly, more wrongs may come his way. Let us pray for this actor that he is able to rebuild his life and be delivered, lest he end up like Charlie Sheen.