• Christina Aguilera Cursed with Fat For Forgetting National Anthem Lyrics (Pictures from Michael Jackson Tribute)

    October 11, 2011 8:18 am 4 comments

    Fallen pop star Michael Jackson had a tribute in London several days ago and the Genie In A Bottle Singer, Christina Aguilera, was chosen for the big closing act. 

    Many of you may remember how the last Super Bowl was ruined after Christina Aguilera forgot the lyrics to America’s national anthem.  GWhen Ronald Reagan was president, we kicked the communist Sinead O’Connor out of our country for doing such things and also forbade the world from playing her music for twenty years.

    Despite our recommendations to Obama, he refused to refused to deport Christina Aguilera for her crimes.  Governor Sarah Palin did agree with us however and Sarah Palin publically supported ChristWire’s campaign to have Christina Aguilera kicked out of our country.  God later made his emotions and anger over the ruined Super Bowl felt when he pushed Christina Aguilera down a flight of stairs at the Grammy Awards!

    But forgetting the lyrics to America’s national anthem can be one of the worse sins a person can commit.  It is right up there with forgetting a passage from the Bible or misquoting the holy words of a pastor or GOP leader.  Aguilera is cursed for her sins and until she confessess and condemns herself to live in Mexico, things will keep getting worse!

    Look at how God has slowed her metabolism and is drenching her inner body with fat.  This is a fat curse America and is what happens when you ruin our Super Bowl!

    4.  Cursed with Mario Mario Shape

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    In this image, we can see Christina Aguilera is trying to entice the crowd with a Poopy Squat pose!  This pose is one that sins gays and backside fornicators clawing in delight, arching their backs and hissing like a horn demon cat in heat!  These felines love to mount their pray’s backside and then emit Satan nectar! Dmma Watson is the one who popularized the poopy squat.   How sick and horrible, my friends.  But if you look at her right diva hand, you’ll see it’s resting on a fatty thight and she cannot get in a full squat.

    If you play the Entendo, you’ll find a fat Brooklyn cartoon character named Mario Mario.  This is the same body type Aguilarea has been cursed with here.  God has a great sense of humor now don’t he!

    3.  Demon Between the Legs

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    Look between the legs.  You can see a Satanic symbol tattoo, like a new demon being born.  With that labor pain face maybe it’s true, or anguish as she doesn’t understand how her ratty chihuahua body became so big.

    2.  Another Failed Poopy Squat Attempt

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    It looks like someone needs a little more prunes in the diet. 

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    This one actually makes me feel sorry.  I cannot even make commentary about this one.   I actually want to reach out and pray for a Mexican on this one. 

    It’s science, really.  We all know that from the ages of 18 – about 23 year-old, a Mexican women can have very tempting body curves.  Young men, take heed to my lesson now.  Then about 24, something always happens to the Mexican genome.  The women start to get impossibly wide hips, making their shapes look comical, like a living pear.  Those hips get wide so they can give birth to the very litters of children that are infesting our nation right now.

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    About The Author
    Tiernan Kincaid

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